I am the residential parent for my 12 year old daughter. She has friends at our house. Sleep overs, and we encourage her to play and have peer time. At he father's she says she either sits in side or plays with my ex's 8 yr old austistic son. They never encourage my daughter to have friends over, or to engage in things 12 year old girls like to do. She has been crying because she does not want to go with her dad, and she has expressed that maybe going one or two days a week would be better than longer periods. Her father will not have it, but that is what our daughter has said... she cries about it, but is reluctant to talk to her dad about it. I am going to call our family law attorney, and then go from their. I told our daughter she might be interviewed and asked her opinion. She is very bright. Actually her father does not pay child support, does not even know who her friends are (names etc... ) and does not even know her grades or teachers names at school. He is just not very interested in her... seemingly so. What are my rights. I have tried to talk to him many times, but he thinks I am lying and I am trying to keep our daughter from him. I want them to have a relationship, but she does not want to go with him 50% of the time. She literally said 2 days a week would be good. I am tired of being called a liar by him, and just want to get this resolved.{E-mail removed} Thank you- Nicci

The law does not specify an amount of visitation. This is something negotiated as part of the divorce or custody settlement.

You are leaving an awful lot out here. How often does she stay with her father? What is the visitation order? How far away does the father live? Is the father remarried? Have YOU discussed this with the father?

The answers to these questions will help us advise you. Without that info any advice given may not be applicable.

P.S. Responses to posts here are done in the thread you create. While we do notify you via e-mail when a response is posted (with a link to the thread), we do not respond via e-mail so your e-mail address was removed for your protection.

If you are asking whether you will be successful in changing the custody & visitation order (and without regard to Ohio law in particular), I think not. You shouldn't be able to change visitation simply because you disagree with your ex's parenting style and want to micro-manage how he raises your child during his time. As long as he is not abusing or neglecting the child, you don't have much of a case.

And, while the child's preferences may be taken into account, they are not controlling.

At what age does the court take in to account who a child lives the majority of the time with?

No age - the child is certainly heard but the decision is in the best interest of the child because the "average" child would go wherever there are fewer rules.

Care to share your State and story?

At 12 the court will not give much weight to your daughter's preference if they will listen to her at all.

At 12 the court will not give much weight to your daughter's preference if they will listen to her at all.


I'm thinking Court-appointed person to represent the interests of the child.