Long story short... been with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years. Every time we break up I go silent but he doesn’t. He looks for any excuse to text me or sees me. I have never cheated on him or lied to him about anything but he sits there and looks for any excuse to fight. He brings up stuff that happened 4 years ago, for example: why did your ex-boyfriend (a guy I haven’t dated for 10 years) text you? Things that shouldn’t bother a person or if they do, you tend to get over it and move on, but not him.

He says he has trust issues and can't let go of the past. Not sure what past he is talking about. At the same time, he is making it impossible to move on. He dwells on the past and can't look clear into the future. And we have been at the same place for 4 years. It’s driving me crazy. I was thinking of going to therapy, not to make things work. But to be able to talk about issues that are bothering him, clarify, and move on, either together or separately. Any advice?

Re evaluate this relationship, and if its not going the way you want, and talking yields no change to the direction, then leave it behind. Never blame a partner for a failure when you can release them from the partnership. Since you stay because you want to. You leave if you want to also.