I am female of 22. I want to die so badly but I don't have guts.I don't know whenever I planned to kill myself that little voice inside stop me to do it. I don't know what to do. I am nothing. I have no talents,no self confidence,have extreme social fears because of this I have no friends,they think I am bore I don't talk too much so they always wanted to get away from me.
I am so lonely, can't express my feelings to others. I felt everyone was watching me(like I am freak) every time someone spoke to me and my voice went deeper and my whole body starts shaking. It gets really bad when I have to do presentations in front of class. I hate my life.I am so angry with myself for being the way I am. I always feel guilty. When I get really angry at me or have mood swings I feel suicidal I cut my wrists using scissors or pins or knives,just scrape the skin to feel pain but not so deep as I don't want to depress my mom,she doesn't know about it.
I being the only child,My mom loves me and cares about me so much.My parents are separated and my father doesn't know how to love his child he only cares about money. My mom already suffer too much in her life and have high expactations from me but I don't know how to fulfill them, I just can't do anything.I am dying inside and outside pretend to be happy. I have tried hard but life is difficult,I can't fit in this world. I am so confused.I cry a lot.I can't change my life.I am useless person. I just want to end it...
NEED IMMIDIATE HELP I AM LOSING MYSELF...

OH NO! Do NOT ever try to kill yourself.

Life is so precious. You won't realise this until you lose it. Remember that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Try to dig out your potential. No one in this world is not lovable, but there are just some people who do not love themselves. NObody is useless, people think themselves are useless just because their negative mentality overwhelms their motivation to do something constructive.

The very first step is to STOP hating yourself. Try not to be shy and try to make some friends. Soon you would discover how wonderful live is.

Do a Google search for "Why I Jumped, Tina Zahn" and read through the articles.

Another important point is to do more sports. People lacking exercise often end up suicidal. Join a local sports club and try to meet more people.

MAYBE this article could inspire you (I am not the author, but I forgot where I found and copied this):

"
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see the world, I will marry you.”

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”


～～～～～～～～～～～～～～



This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.


Life is a Gift


Today before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children, think of children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep, think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job, think of the disabled and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another, remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
"

Best of luck.

I would also strongly recommend you to seek help from professional counselling services such as LifeLine (they are free and confidential). Never do stupid things such as committing suicide. Think about it, if you kill yourself, how many people would become grievous including your mother and all those who read the news.

Summing up, stay strong and think in a positive way. Find something to cheer yourself up. For example, go to YouTube and search for Prankvsprank and bfvsgf. Their videos are bound to crack you up (many viewers say those videos make their days).

Best of luck.

Anthony