I recently got dumped by my girlfriend of over 3 years. We were each other’s first love and became very close very quickly. We spent a lot of time together and I even lived with her family for a few months while I had financial issues. We planned on getting married after college (I was saving for a ring and planning on proposing in December). We rarely fought and were great together. Things were perfect until she went to a party without me and got really drunk and cheated on me. It hurt me a lot and was really confusing because just earlier that day we were saying how much we loved each other and spent the day watching movies in bed together. She came clean and told me everything the next day and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was really upset and angry at first and she told me “if you want to break up I understand because what I did is really horrible, but if you want to fix things I will do anything to make it up to you”. We didn’t speak for a few days but after about a week and a half I met up with her and we decided to fix things. She was really sorry for everything and wanted to do anything to make it up to me and I was willing to do anything to work things out between us (and she said the same).

After about a week together she went on a weekend trip she had planned months ago with her best friend. When she came back she acted distant for 2 days and finally came to me and said she wanted to break up. She said she had been thinking since this all started and realized that it happened because she had never been alone or in another relationship, so she didn’t know who she was without me and that scared her. She said she didn’t want to be with anyone else and if she wanted a relationship it would be with me, but she just wanted to be alone right now. I know she has been stressed lately because of major family, financial, work, school, etc.. Issues that she has been worrying and somewhat depressed about for a few weeks prior. I was crushed, but I gave her some space, but about a week and a half later I decided to write her a letter telling her how I felt. The first part was just about how much she had helped me in my life and how grateful I was for everything she did for me; but at the end I wrote about how much I loved her and I felt that we could start again as a stronger couple and get past everything if she wanted to try again. We met up and talked about things and I read it to her. She was really upset and crying by the end, but she asked me for more time to think about it because she said she didn’t want to break my heart again. She said her gut said she loves me and wants to get back together, but she still had the thought in her head and wanted to be sure. I understood because I didn’t want to start again and then fall apart after a week like last time. She said she would give me an answer within a week, but after 4 days she called me and said she still felt the same. She said she still loves me but didn’t want to try again if she wasn’t 100% sure because she didn’t want to just drag out things and cause us to not be friends later. We met up later that week and exchanged some things and decided it was best to not talk for a while so we could sort things out. We had lunch and she revealed other major family issues she was dealing with and she said I was the only one she felt comfortable enough to tell, so she had been dealing with it secretly. I told her she could contact me about it if she ever wanted to talk, but I needed some time alone.

It has been just over a week since this happened and I still feel like she is just confused and upset because of all that is going on in her life. I still think she is making a mistake and she will realize it after a while and want to fix things. I don’t want to give up on her because I honestly believe that she is sorry for cheating on me and is just really emotional and confused but needs space to deal with it. My friends say she is probably still seeing the guy she cheated on me with, but every time we spoke she kept saying she didn’t want anyone, but just to be alone (and her best friend said the same). I do believe her, but I guess I have some doubts because I have been so upset lately. I am still in love with her and I want to do anything to fix things, but I am realizing that I can’t do anything except wait and see if she comes around. I decided to go with No Contact for about a month (initiating contact around my birthday) until we have to meet and discuss our shared phone plan. She said she still wanted to see me for my birthday and give me the present she got for me, so I thought that would make perfect reason to talk again. I have been going to the gym a lot since this started because it is the only thing keeping my mind off it, so I think by the next time we talk I will be in great shape. I have bought some nice new clothes and cologne and I will be looking my best when we meet again. I plan on asking her out for lunch and just seeing how she felt (but not asking her to get back together). I think this time will give her a while to work things out and realize she misses me; hopefully she calls me sooner than my month idea.
I really want to fix things but I’m afraid I already messed up the No Contact idea. I have been posting occasionally on Facebook to show her I am out having fun and living my life (not crushed without her). Should I keep doing this or just completely disappear off everything? Is there any other advice anyone can give to help me? I think my plan is pretty solid: Give her a month alone to miss me and think about things, show her I am a good guy with a happy future, speak with her again and show her me at my best, hopefully make her fall for me again and want to fix things…

Please don’t respond if you just want to say “Just forget about her” I really love her and I believe we can fix things. I won’t give up on her without trying once more.

"I think my plan is pretty solid: Give her a month alone to miss me and think about things, show her I am a
good guy with a happy future, speak with her again and show her me at my best, hopefully make her fall for me again and want to fix things"

I think this is a good idea. As of Facebook update, I would suggest disappearing off everything so she would miss you more. This is just a suggestion, as everyone is different and furthermore I am not an expert in this field.

Best of luck.

Leave her completely alone
No Facebook, nothing
The idea is to give her time and space, not to miss you. She wants to live a life apart from you for a while. Find out who she is. This happens when people date the first for along time when they are young. They don't know who they are as a young adult apart from that other person. They want to be independent, and they should be before they settle down. So should you.
Find out who you are too.

Give her some time and space, but not too much. Make sure she sees you around a lot. Try to make her feel like she's missing out on spending time with you.

Trying to make her feel she is missing out on something with her is nit giving her the space she needs. That is manipulating her.