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tia_mariia
Jun 3, 2012, 02:18 PM
Me and my boyfriend have been together over two years now and we have one child who is one and about 6 weeks ago lost our second child. At first we were fine and had sex a couple of times after the loss. However, I tried to talk to him about the miscarriage and he said there's nothing to talk about, he didn't feel it pass through and didn't get attached to it.
Anyhow, we had a huge row and he slept on the sofa for a few nights, but since that night he's not touched me and when I ask for a hug he sighs and reluctantly does it. And now whenever we go to bed his first words are 'i don't want sex, I want to sleep' why is he doing this?
It's getting to the point where I'm fantazising about being with other guys and not feeling guilty about it...

Cat1864
Jun 5, 2012, 07:35 AM
Tia mariia, this is something you need to talk with each other about and it may take some counseling. Miscarriages are hard on both parents though many try not to show it. He may be worried about you getting pregnant again. He may feel some guilt (probably not rational, but then human nature and emotional responses rarely are.) Only he can tell you what he is thinking and why.

If he isn't ready to talk, then you may have to be patient. Don't try to confront him or force him to respond. It may seem irrational and he may not be aware of it, but he may be grieving and he may be scared.

If need be, look into relationship counseling. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either of you or the relationship. It just means you need a little help getting through this.

My condolences on your loss.