Hi.. I have two daughters-in-law. 1 is very opinionated and bossy and I am lucky if I see my grandson twice a week, though we live about 2 miles away. This grandson is now 9 months old, and I have not been allowed to watch him unless his mom is around. My son does not come to our place to see us since they've been together. She won't go to my in-laws as my mom-in-law smokes. She won't go to my sister-in-laws place because it's cluttered and there are bugs. (I don't blame her, really,) I don't really get why they won't come to our place, though a little cluttered, it is clean. They won't go to my other boys place as it definitely is messy and dirty. She is very neat and organized. Ok. More drama, but on to the next daughter-in-law.. She is a bit on the immature side. She is not really domestic, though she has a 2 month old. She is very relaxed and easy to talk with. I have often gone o their place and cleaned the kitchen. I know she's got a young one, but - please! Its tiring. The 2 women seem to have a constant competition of sorts with each other. The one feels she is forced to see the other. Now, the others sister has to jump the first one because there were words said as to which baby was cuter. It's stupid. How can I help this situation get better? I don't know if my grandsons will get to play with each other when old enough, just because of the moms.

My advise as a daughter-in-law myself, don't get involved unless they ask you for help. Your sons and their wife's need to figure that out themselves.
If you have a problem, talk to your sons, but never speak bad about their wife's.
If you are tired of cleaning her kitchen, don't do it.

You don't get involved in it between them, if the one is not coming to see you ( and actually twice a week is a lot for many mother in laws to see the grandkid)

But you talk to your SON, and have a talk to HIM, about HIM bringing the child to see YOU, your relationship is with him and you need to be talking to HIM.

If you go to the other daughter in law, STOP, don't dare clean their kitchen unless they ask you for the help. Many a mother in law stops getting invited because they come and interfere and clean I have things I owned I have not seen in years after my mother in law came to my house and cleaned up. It was not a happy home to be in after she left that evening. If I wanted a maid, I would hire a maid, if I want a family member to visit, they visit.