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sulakshmandutta
Jun 2, 2012, 04:08 AM
I'm in Love with my GF for the last 3 years. On the very first day when we met we started liking each other, there was a like factor in between us. After few days when I proposed her, she told me that she can't accept me as she is in a relationship. But we started to catch up as a friends. Finally 2 months ago, one day she calls me up and told that "She wants to take our friendship one step ahead, She Loves Me" and she had finished with her ex, as I also know that she was not too much happy with her ex. Finally I was very happy and we are enjoying & started to thinking of our future.

But sometimes I feel that for some very small issue also she reacts too much and gets angry with me. Started blaming me, shout on me, even stop talking with me. Every time I had to take initiative to make the situation normal.

Finally last night she told me that she still in love with her ex from her heart, she had not forgot him, even after so many things she can't hate him. She is trying to forget him but never admitted that she loves me rather she told that she likes me a lot and never wanted to lose me. Even she told me that she had met him two weeks ago to return all the gifts she got from her ex and spend time with him, and she is worried of him as few days ago he got some illness and due to that he was not looking fit and fine.

She told me may be she can't love me so much as her ex, she had lost all the freshness in her love, she can't accept me or love me solely as her previous. All the doors of her heart had closed, still she wants to stay with me.

As I was very much jealous and angry of the situation, when I told her not to again get contacted with her ex, she told me she misses him a lot till yet, can't resist her from to be with her ex whenever he calls her up. She also asked me that, can she meet that guy as a friend? I was very angry at that moment, finally she told me that please don't do anything like calling that guy or anything, and promised that she will never meet that guy again.

But I know she still loves him a lot and now she is not happy. But I love her very much, I can't think losing her. I'm trying to console her with various thing now. But I doubt may be she can again lie me to meet him as she and that guy from same place and I'm very far from there.

Now what should I do?
Will she get change with time?
Can she also loves me?
Or all I'm doing is just wastage of time?
How should I know, what she wants?
I fear someday that guy comes back and tried to get back her, will she leave me?

Please suggest me as I can't think more, I'm very much confused, there are no one with whom I can share my feelings. Please.. If there is any way to get her completely please give me those ideas. Above all I still love her very much, she is my first love.

C0bra_M3nace
Jun 2, 2012, 04:46 AM
You are so blinded by love that you are hurting yourself more and more over something that shouldn't. She is taken, you should respect that and back off, and move on. There's no sense waiting around for her, you haven't even began a relationship with her and you proposed! You're a fool.

That's like preordering a videogame that you've never even played yet. You don't even know if you're going to like it or not but you still paid for it!

Cut your loses, and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

talaniman
Jun 2, 2012, 09:08 AM
You may have loved her for 3 years but it sounds as if the relationship is only a few months old. If so, this is a classic rebound situation where a wounded party latches on to some one for support, and healing (Not to hurt intentionally, mind you), and when they become strong enough they can be on their own without the love and support given to them.

In your particular case, you failed to recognize this was happening and in your haste, and happiness, gave your heart to a person who had not proved she knew what to do with it, and was needy of your presence. Your inexperienced exposed you to the reality that her feelings were unresolved and now she still has them, and the friends thing is the begging.

Let her go, as hurtful as that is so you can heal, and she can too, not from breaking up with YOU, but him. I will also point out that you were blinded by your own feelings and got carried away by them, which made you vulnerable too. As you see it ain't working, and that hurts YOU!!

Remove yourself completely from this situation, and leave her alone, until your head, can handle the urges your heart is screaming to it. The heart is false, and selfish, so follow your head, and recover from your trauma, so at least SOMEDAY in the future, maybe the friendship can be renewed.

NOT NOW THOUGH!!! Yeah the first love is tough, but honestly, they all are be it the first or 50th. Break ups always suck.