Confused Heart
Jun 1, 2012, 01:17 PM
Thread moved to its own question.
Hello everyone, I need desperate help. So I and my girlfriend have been dating for about 2 years and 3 months as of June 4, 2012... I am 21 and she is 20. Currently we are still boyfriend and girlfriend but the problem arises when she got a good job at this institute through another job she had previously. A few months in the job she would come home like usual and we would rent a movie or go out and grab some food etc. Daily weekly schedule. However I noticed lately I never saw her phone laying around as much as I used to because before she would just have it laying around.
I found this unusual, so one night she passed out and I went to go look for her phone finding it on the side of her bed charging. I noticed she has two texts from this random guy that the number was saved in her phone, stating she should come out to his beach house, and they should drink etc... I don't know exactly. So after I saw this, I quickly woke my girlfriend up and asked her who this guy was and why he would be sending you things like this? She had no idea, and said he's just a guy that she works with and is probably just drunk. I wondered why a RANDOM coworker would just send her something like this...
Finding out later he's 30 and she's 20 I didn't quite understand. After that night I did not really care or talk much about because she has never lied and isn't the kind of girl that would go along with something like this. A couple months passed, we had our usual stupid fights around 2 years... when she would get of my nerves I wasn't to in tune to listening to her complain I just kind of let it pass and she's always been a control freak. If I wanted to go hangout with my guy friends I was not allowed because she was so worried I was going to cheat on her or be up to no good. If a girl said hi or waved at me she would get so defensive and want to leave me or tell me to go her then? I never understood this nature just kind of let it pass over and adjusted to it.
By now I've lost most and if not all my friends, and honestly touch of my inner self because I got so used to seeing her every day of my life and she was my best friend and first love! We talked for 4 months before we even kissed because we both used to talk about how real this actually feels. So this was always a special bond. Anyway last couple weeks she continued hiding her phone again and I asked her if that guy was still texting and bothering her again and she replied no. I found out by her that she just got promoted to a higher position and finding out that this guy would be working in the same department... great so I said. But after a few days it seemed she was always hiding her phone again and texting only when I wasn't around to see or around a corner awkwardly. After a while I got fed up and told her to stop texting this guy because it was pissing me off that he still texts her and now she works in the same department. She went against everything I said and continued to text him almost more because she saw how mad I got and became a better liar and erased and covered her tracks and I know she has been because one day in asked her why she still hides her phone and she replied I don't and to play cool left it laying on the counter upside down. I looked when I had a quick opportunity to find out all my assumptions were true but with a text saying is everything OK... I don't know what she has told this guy but I would assume it has been about us, and my girlfriend loves attention so I don't know what they have been talking about or how long anymore.
This has caused me to storm out the door and leave while she chased me or her breaking down and crying pleading her innocence. At that point I was losing my trust and becoming very paranoid. Finally one day we got into a huge argument about him again because he had called her two times and texted she so I wanted an explanation or I was gone and she stormed out crying finding out she went to call her "friends". I followed her one time to find out she's having a conversation with this guy?? So when we got into it she would go call and talk to him when he is the reason all this has been going on? Was he really worth this and why didn't she understand that. So after all of this happened she suggested we take a day off and have a girl and guys day out. I agreed and said as long as he wasn't going to be with her... so we had our day out and this is not like her to be okay with something like this but I figured she was trying to make things work... she ended up staying out 2 nights... I didn't mind found it weird but didn't think much into it... I asked her about everything because she sounded nervous telling her story finding out this guy was at the beach her and her friend went to but she said he didn't hangout but odd enough they end up on same beach and its company beach day?
I started to get more paranoid as each day passed because I felt something was going on and when she returned I told her I was disappointed and I'm staying out at a buddies and didn't want to talk to her right now because I was disgusted. I returned home to notice she would be gone for the following week? Out of that entire week she came home once said she's staying again and we had sex but following morning packed a bag "in case" she has to stay out so overtime her staying out has become much easier because she has somewhere to go and I know she has been staying at this guy's house because the night she came home she didn't seem interested in talking to me and was on her phone the entire time like she used to with me:( it's been 5 days since she's come home but always blows up my phone when I don't respond and always wants to know what I'm doing and who I am with and tell me she wants to marry me and have my kids... and I'm the love of her life and not to worry.
So we went out to grab some food at the place I first asked her out and told her if you need time I will respect what you want and she said she was just confused about everything and doesn't know who she is or anything and needs help and guidance. I told her to let me go and I would give her a break and she cried her eyes out saying that's not she wanted and I said you haven't come home in so long there is something going on and she said she's been staying at her girlfriend house and I said you right you mean his house,. and she said I was assuming and I said I hope you didn't cheat on me and she said in all caps that she would never do that and that I am crazy for ever thinking that...
But she gets off work late every day and then never comes home and we are still together I don't understand what is going on... but every time I tell her to meet for dinner or come home and sleep she says she has dinner plans with her patients... I need serious help on what you guys think may be going on... she sounds so annoyed when I try and talk to her about this but I didn't do anything wrong... she did and I want closure but we have sex every few days and we kiss and she tells me she loves and never will love another man? Is she going through a phase and wants me there to fall back on I don't get it, she never came off as that type of girl especially with a 30 year old guy? She told me this guy cried over her because she was crying and he noticed it was because of me and she said he's obsessed with her why would she go for someone like him?
Also one of the dinner nights we went out to red lobster and she just kept crying saying she has a broken heart because of me and is confused and can't come home right now she needs time... we ended up having sex in the back of my car and this guy called her 3 times in the middle of intercourse... I texted him off my phone saying I'm having sex with my girlfriend do you mind... 30 minutes later we were done and talking in her car, this guy called literally 20 times in a row and my girlfriend kept ignoring it but he kept trying to call and after 20-25 times he stopped but by then she was having anxiety like something was up and I said is this guy expecting you because there's obviously something going right now because no coworker would call you that many times... almost like my text made him go crazy...
She went to a friend's house which I assume was his... I'm just really confused on what is going on and what should I do me and my girlfriend live together and have animals but it's so hard for her come home anymore, and she avoids me so we don't have to talk about this and I undertand because she is stressed but all this happened because of her and I just want to know what to do with my life...
HELPPPP!! 1
Hello everyone, I need desperate help. So I and my girlfriend have been dating for about 2 years and 3 months as of June 4, 2012... I am 21 and she is 20. Currently we are still boyfriend and girlfriend but the problem arises when she got a good job at this institute through another job she had previously. A few months in the job she would come home like usual and we would rent a movie or go out and grab some food etc. Daily weekly schedule. However I noticed lately I never saw her phone laying around as much as I used to because before she would just have it laying around.
I found this unusual, so one night she passed out and I went to go look for her phone finding it on the side of her bed charging. I noticed she has two texts from this random guy that the number was saved in her phone, stating she should come out to his beach house, and they should drink etc... I don't know exactly. So after I saw this, I quickly woke my girlfriend up and asked her who this guy was and why he would be sending you things like this? She had no idea, and said he's just a guy that she works with and is probably just drunk. I wondered why a RANDOM coworker would just send her something like this...
Finding out later he's 30 and she's 20 I didn't quite understand. After that night I did not really care or talk much about because she has never lied and isn't the kind of girl that would go along with something like this. A couple months passed, we had our usual stupid fights around 2 years... when she would get of my nerves I wasn't to in tune to listening to her complain I just kind of let it pass and she's always been a control freak. If I wanted to go hangout with my guy friends I was not allowed because she was so worried I was going to cheat on her or be up to no good. If a girl said hi or waved at me she would get so defensive and want to leave me or tell me to go her then? I never understood this nature just kind of let it pass over and adjusted to it.
By now I've lost most and if not all my friends, and honestly touch of my inner self because I got so used to seeing her every day of my life and she was my best friend and first love! We talked for 4 months before we even kissed because we both used to talk about how real this actually feels. So this was always a special bond. Anyway last couple weeks she continued hiding her phone again and I asked her if that guy was still texting and bothering her again and she replied no. I found out by her that she just got promoted to a higher position and finding out that this guy would be working in the same department... great so I said. But after a few days it seemed she was always hiding her phone again and texting only when I wasn't around to see or around a corner awkwardly. After a while I got fed up and told her to stop texting this guy because it was pissing me off that he still texts her and now she works in the same department. She went against everything I said and continued to text him almost more because she saw how mad I got and became a better liar and erased and covered her tracks and I know she has been because one day in asked her why she still hides her phone and she replied I don't and to play cool left it laying on the counter upside down. I looked when I had a quick opportunity to find out all my assumptions were true but with a text saying is everything OK... I don't know what she has told this guy but I would assume it has been about us, and my girlfriend loves attention so I don't know what they have been talking about or how long anymore.
This has caused me to storm out the door and leave while she chased me or her breaking down and crying pleading her innocence. At that point I was losing my trust and becoming very paranoid. Finally one day we got into a huge argument about him again because he had called her two times and texted she so I wanted an explanation or I was gone and she stormed out crying finding out she went to call her "friends". I followed her one time to find out she's having a conversation with this guy?? So when we got into it she would go call and talk to him when he is the reason all this has been going on? Was he really worth this and why didn't she understand that. So after all of this happened she suggested we take a day off and have a girl and guys day out. I agreed and said as long as he wasn't going to be with her... so we had our day out and this is not like her to be okay with something like this but I figured she was trying to make things work... she ended up staying out 2 nights... I didn't mind found it weird but didn't think much into it... I asked her about everything because she sounded nervous telling her story finding out this guy was at the beach her and her friend went to but she said he didn't hangout but odd enough they end up on same beach and its company beach day?
I started to get more paranoid as each day passed because I felt something was going on and when she returned I told her I was disappointed and I'm staying out at a buddies and didn't want to talk to her right now because I was disgusted. I returned home to notice she would be gone for the following week? Out of that entire week she came home once said she's staying again and we had sex but following morning packed a bag "in case" she has to stay out so overtime her staying out has become much easier because she has somewhere to go and I know she has been staying at this guy's house because the night she came home she didn't seem interested in talking to me and was on her phone the entire time like she used to with me:( it's been 5 days since she's come home but always blows up my phone when I don't respond and always wants to know what I'm doing and who I am with and tell me she wants to marry me and have my kids... and I'm the love of her life and not to worry.
So we went out to grab some food at the place I first asked her out and told her if you need time I will respect what you want and she said she was just confused about everything and doesn't know who she is or anything and needs help and guidance. I told her to let me go and I would give her a break and she cried her eyes out saying that's not she wanted and I said you haven't come home in so long there is something going on and she said she's been staying at her girlfriend house and I said you right you mean his house,. and she said I was assuming and I said I hope you didn't cheat on me and she said in all caps that she would never do that and that I am crazy for ever thinking that...
But she gets off work late every day and then never comes home and we are still together I don't understand what is going on... but every time I tell her to meet for dinner or come home and sleep she says she has dinner plans with her patients... I need serious help on what you guys think may be going on... she sounds so annoyed when I try and talk to her about this but I didn't do anything wrong... she did and I want closure but we have sex every few days and we kiss and she tells me she loves and never will love another man? Is she going through a phase and wants me there to fall back on I don't get it, she never came off as that type of girl especially with a 30 year old guy? She told me this guy cried over her because she was crying and he noticed it was because of me and she said he's obsessed with her why would she go for someone like him?
Also one of the dinner nights we went out to red lobster and she just kept crying saying she has a broken heart because of me and is confused and can't come home right now she needs time... we ended up having sex in the back of my car and this guy called her 3 times in the middle of intercourse... I texted him off my phone saying I'm having sex with my girlfriend do you mind... 30 minutes later we were done and talking in her car, this guy called literally 20 times in a row and my girlfriend kept ignoring it but he kept trying to call and after 20-25 times he stopped but by then she was having anxiety like something was up and I said is this guy expecting you because there's obviously something going right now because no coworker would call you that many times... almost like my text made him go crazy...
She went to a friend's house which I assume was his... I'm just really confused on what is going on and what should I do me and my girlfriend live together and have animals but it's so hard for her come home anymore, and she avoids me so we don't have to talk about this and I undertand because she is stressed but all this happened because of her and I just want to know what to do with my life...
HELPPPP!! 1