KC Melodies
Jun 1, 2012, 11:31 AM
My ex and I were together for over 2yrs, she moved in after we had dated for 3 months. She was seeing two other girls prior to dating me and left them for me. She is very insecure because of all her troubled, broken prior relationships. She's has not had a stable relationship, they all involved lying, cheating and abuse. I was with one other person prior to her for 4yrs and she hated the fact that I had a previous relationship, and wanted to maintain friends with this person because we fell out of love... She basically told me initially when we got serious, that she can't sleep alone, so if I'm not in bed with her, then do the math. I'll admit, I was stupid and drunk on what I thought was love... our relationship became a real roller coaster at times seeing as she didn't work majority of our relationship and she had medical issues that she didn't take care of properly and she was a heavy marijuana user. When I got with her I was not at all, but became one. Over the two years I was with her, I got stuck paying majority of the bills and for recreational expenses. I had to deal with my first ever death- my mother who was my best friend! It took its toll on me, we fought a lot. We got in physical fights too, like her pinning me down or trapping me in corners, me trying to kick her off sort of thing.. (we are both female)
She brought out the worst in me.
I turned into a horrible person, which I believe she aided me in becoming. I became angry and bitter. She had a huge problem with telling me the truth, even when it came to simple things- like how much did she drink at the bar last night... I couldn't get past some times in the first 3-9mos of our relationship knowing she went and spent times with her ex, few all day events, one two day event. And other than that, she was home all the time cause she didn't work. And I was not really allowed to go out without her, she never encouraged me to go spend time with friends or family. I grew very distant from my family, she was becoming my only friend.. I Became very unhappy and felt like we were not doing good for ourselves and bettering out lives. I wanted to quit using marijuana and be more involved in things, get stuff done, be positively productive. She would sit there and say do it, verbally encourage me, I couldn't do it with her there still smoking and not really wanting or able to do much because her medical problems...
So at any rate, that was a little back ground on our relationship. Back in April I paid for her to go back to school because she is a auto tech and they had an advance training class. She met another girl in her class which I know she is now involved with. She was also due to do work release jail starting May for 45 days then home monitoring for 45 days for something she stole from someone.
She lied to me about something really stupid and I got angry and offended an asked her to move out in April. She ended up moving completely out, on a weekend she knew I had plans to have my sisters down and I was preoccupied and wasn't involved in her moving, and so she took all her stuff, all the stuff I bought for us and then things of mine she liked. It was really hard, I was really upset, but learned that material things are just that, replaceable.
After she moved out she was really hateful and mean towards me, telling me I'm the bad one it's all my fault. And some points she would tell me she loves me, and she has hopes for us to be together in the future. People are advising me that it sounds like she's trying to string me along, in case her plans with new girl or new direction don't work out...
It took the last two weeks of April when she moved out to really accept it, get over it, figure out myself now and a plan for my future to come not being in a relationship. She was pretty adamant that she wanted to remain friends that she couldn't picture me not in her life. So we continued to talk for the 4 weeks, no every day and sometimes not much but simple hi texts. She called and talk to me once the first week she was in jail. Our phone convos since she moved out were never that good because she seemed upset that I sounded OK, that I was moving on and doing things I've told her our entire relationship I wanted to do, like go to the gym, hang out with friends etc..
So two weeks ago to this day- we were supposed to meet up for a couple hours because she was released from jail to do laundry. So I was a little hesitant to see her seeing as I felt I needed more time to get over her, and basically I texted her and said I was annoyed at that moment finding out she took something I was looking for. It was probably stupid for me to say, but I said it. And she got mad and replied it was mine, don't bother seeing me have a good life. These proceeded with me telling her I wasn't feeling comfortable seeing her, I think since we've been going down different paths for a month now, it's better to stay on these paths and not have them cross, possibly in the distant future- was my basic point. And or the record since we broke up -and I haven't done any drugs or alcohol I've been really cool, calm accepting of things and not saying anything to her about it's all your fault type stuff. That's just not me, I don't like drama. So at any rate she texts me all this stuff, like she got a job but it's my fault she needs another surgery and can't take the job. That I'm at fault for everything bad and that she's happier in jail than coming home to me. And she left with a don't contact me again. And seriously since I've read thAt, I have not contacted her. Thought about her several times aday, we are still Facebook friends- so we could see each others status and what not. But I've been okay not contacting her and it really helps me because when I did talk to her that very last time, that conversation hit me hard, kind of put me back at square one.
I feel mildly bad she is in jail and her birthday is tmrw and If I'm going to wish her a happy birthday I'd have to do it today otherwise she won't get it... I know a big part of me feels she doesn't deserve a happy birthday... And I kind of don't want it to turn into a response but I feel mildly guilty if I don't. What If I put it on my Facebook status? "wishing my ex a happy birthday tmrw given her circumstances" I don't know , I hate not knowing what's right and wrong...
She brought out the worst in me.
I turned into a horrible person, which I believe she aided me in becoming. I became angry and bitter. She had a huge problem with telling me the truth, even when it came to simple things- like how much did she drink at the bar last night... I couldn't get past some times in the first 3-9mos of our relationship knowing she went and spent times with her ex, few all day events, one two day event. And other than that, she was home all the time cause she didn't work. And I was not really allowed to go out without her, she never encouraged me to go spend time with friends or family. I grew very distant from my family, she was becoming my only friend.. I Became very unhappy and felt like we were not doing good for ourselves and bettering out lives. I wanted to quit using marijuana and be more involved in things, get stuff done, be positively productive. She would sit there and say do it, verbally encourage me, I couldn't do it with her there still smoking and not really wanting or able to do much because her medical problems...
So at any rate, that was a little back ground on our relationship. Back in April I paid for her to go back to school because she is a auto tech and they had an advance training class. She met another girl in her class which I know she is now involved with. She was also due to do work release jail starting May for 45 days then home monitoring for 45 days for something she stole from someone.
She lied to me about something really stupid and I got angry and offended an asked her to move out in April. She ended up moving completely out, on a weekend she knew I had plans to have my sisters down and I was preoccupied and wasn't involved in her moving, and so she took all her stuff, all the stuff I bought for us and then things of mine she liked. It was really hard, I was really upset, but learned that material things are just that, replaceable.
After she moved out she was really hateful and mean towards me, telling me I'm the bad one it's all my fault. And some points she would tell me she loves me, and she has hopes for us to be together in the future. People are advising me that it sounds like she's trying to string me along, in case her plans with new girl or new direction don't work out...
It took the last two weeks of April when she moved out to really accept it, get over it, figure out myself now and a plan for my future to come not being in a relationship. She was pretty adamant that she wanted to remain friends that she couldn't picture me not in her life. So we continued to talk for the 4 weeks, no every day and sometimes not much but simple hi texts. She called and talk to me once the first week she was in jail. Our phone convos since she moved out were never that good because she seemed upset that I sounded OK, that I was moving on and doing things I've told her our entire relationship I wanted to do, like go to the gym, hang out with friends etc..
So two weeks ago to this day- we were supposed to meet up for a couple hours because she was released from jail to do laundry. So I was a little hesitant to see her seeing as I felt I needed more time to get over her, and basically I texted her and said I was annoyed at that moment finding out she took something I was looking for. It was probably stupid for me to say, but I said it. And she got mad and replied it was mine, don't bother seeing me have a good life. These proceeded with me telling her I wasn't feeling comfortable seeing her, I think since we've been going down different paths for a month now, it's better to stay on these paths and not have them cross, possibly in the distant future- was my basic point. And or the record since we broke up -and I haven't done any drugs or alcohol I've been really cool, calm accepting of things and not saying anything to her about it's all your fault type stuff. That's just not me, I don't like drama. So at any rate she texts me all this stuff, like she got a job but it's my fault she needs another surgery and can't take the job. That I'm at fault for everything bad and that she's happier in jail than coming home to me. And she left with a don't contact me again. And seriously since I've read thAt, I have not contacted her. Thought about her several times aday, we are still Facebook friends- so we could see each others status and what not. But I've been okay not contacting her and it really helps me because when I did talk to her that very last time, that conversation hit me hard, kind of put me back at square one.
I feel mildly bad she is in jail and her birthday is tmrw and If I'm going to wish her a happy birthday I'd have to do it today otherwise she won't get it... I know a big part of me feels she doesn't deserve a happy birthday... And I kind of don't want it to turn into a response but I feel mildly guilty if I don't. What If I put it on my Facebook status? "wishing my ex a happy birthday tmrw given her circumstances" I don't know , I hate not knowing what's right and wrong...