I will try to write this as factual, non biased and unemotional as I can do that I can see this with a clear picture.

I'm only 23 and I have my whole life ahead of me. In two days, it will be mine and my husband's 2 year anniversary. In the beginning, we fell in love and tried to wait until marriage to have sex but we caved about a month before the wedding. Neither one of us were virgins but we thought we would have a better foundation for our relationship if we did that. We had sex a lot but I was never sexually satisfied. It was very difficult for me to orgasm with oral but out of the question during sex. I had no problem orgasming with other men but I thought maybe I just felt guilty and didn't let myself enjoy it thoroughly. Either way, marriage isn't just about sex and skills get better over time, so I didn't let that affect anything. My husband has always been satisfied and I made sure of it every time we had sex. Little things started, such as him going out with his friends (who live out of state) and I could never go because I had to work and he had the days off. He would come back with videos on his phone of him and another woman swapping nipple rings. We had a impulse idea to get them pierced one time lol. He would disrespect me, call me a suing sex or when he was mad at me, just saying horrible things that made me cry. When I did start crying, instead of regretting what he said, I always noticed a smirk or a smile on his face and he would never apologize later. His excuse was that he isn't going to feel bad, if I was acting like a , he would treat me like one. When I asked him how I was acting like one, he said I would take too long getting ready.

Things got worse, he started posting on Craigslist to meet women for sex or for cuddling. After catching him and freaking out, I did some research. I know it's not my fault that he wanted to cheat, but it's usually due to something missing in our relationship. I understand the sex part because at the time I was recovering from surgery and couldn't have sex with him. But we were very cuddly and intimate, so I felt as if the cuddling hurt me worse. The sex was explainable, he was horny and not getting any from me but to me cuddling is an emotional intimate thing.

So after researching and trying to accommodate what we were missing, I came home from work with another woman in our bed. I feel like I never got a straight or truthful answer about what happened because his story kept changing about what he did do and didn't do. He is sticking to that he ate her out for hours and then he came right before he entered her, so technically didn't have sex.

After that, he promised to change, but after a few months of being good and me trusting him, he started disrespecting me again. He has only called me a once this month, but he has said a lot of mean and hurtful things. I got a sunburn the other day and asked him to rub aloe on my back and he said no. So when he wanted sex I said no because I wasn't feeling well due to the sunburn. He thought I said no because I wanted to punish him for not rubbing lotion on my back. So he threatens to get it elsewhere if I don't put out. I refused to give in because I usually do which makes him think he is okay to treat me badly because he will still get laid. I have felt so hurt and so far away from him our whole marriage. I am overweight and I have been losing weight, I lost 23 pounds in two months, which I know I could do better but I'm not even trying. I'm just so miserable. I love him and I try I touch him and he never wants to touch me back.

I feel so ugly, fat and unwanted and when I try to tell him this, he says it because I am. Sometimes he wants to cuddle at night but I always have to hold him, he rarely ever holds me. He watches porn and masturbates beside me every night because he believes that I should be the one to do all the work. He won't have foreplay with me, he just wants me to ride him until he cums and then go to bed. I'm so lonely, he doesn't even hug me back when I hug him when we see each other. I feel like we are enemies when I just want to feel his touch.

He has been on Craigslist again and he has a separate email address again with sites like POF.com, Fling.com, AshleyMadison.com and Cupid.com. In his profiles they say looking to have wild sex and he is single.

I just feel so useless. There are times where I think he is going I change, where we usually have a really good talk and okay sex. When I confronted him about the separate email address and the sex websites he say that he is a grown man and can do whatever he wants. He says that I'm disrespecting him by checking up on him and checking his phone. He says I have no right and that if I don't like it, then I'm welcome to leave. Its so unfair that he doesn't even bother trying to make me feel loved or even get me off when I get him off almost everyday. I either ride him or give him a BJ and the only time I ever get to is if he happens to last long enough for me to and he lets me use a bullet. Since he started smoking weed, he has gotten a little better. He stop being so mean and calling me names. He stopped freaking out if the house wasn't clean and just being nicer but he is still on all those websites.

He is 5 inches and uncircumcised and gained a lot of weight so it's hard for him to find any women online anyway. But I'm still afraid he will cheat or give me an STD. We just got done his second round of STD testing from the last woman he was with.

I feel so guilty because I have been watching porn lately and masturbaing too which I usually never do. I keep imagining myself falling in love with other men or even just having wild sex with them when I'm horny. I married him even though I knew the sex wasn't that great because I loved him. Now we don't even have a good relationship and he doesn't want to change that. I wish he did.. I just want him to love me like I love him. I feel like we have exhauste everything. We did over a year of marriage counseling which seemed to make things worse. I felt like our marriage counselor thought he was the worst man in the world. He constantly said he has a sexual addiction and said he takes pleasure in seeing me hurt and makes him out to be this HORRIBLE man. When we went to see a completely different marriage counselor, she labeled him with a sexual addiction and recommended a divorce because he doesn't seem to want to try.

I know I need to end this but I need the strength to do it. I have no family or friends and I just lost my job two weeks ago and have no income. I feel guilty for thinking this but I have been thinking about sticking it out just until I get another job but sleeping with someone else. I want to find another man that will cuddle with me and maybe even sex so that when I leave him this time, I won't take him back. Last time I left him, I even filed charges for hitting me and slamming my arm in the door and throwing me to the floor. I got a restraining order but then he saw me one day and came up to me and cried and spilled his heart about how much he loved me and realized he was wrong. I have tried leaving a few times, I have stayed in the homeless shelter and I have even lived in my car for a week and a few days.

I just can't help these feelings of wing with someone who want me and loves me... I don't want to be a cheater but I need help leaving him. I need someone emotionally. I don't know what to do.. I don't want to hurt him either and I'm not a good liar... I'm afraid I would tell him the truth.

My dad died and my mom is here in Maine somewhere but she doesn't have a place to live and I can't find her.

I don't even know why I'm here.. There is nothing anyone can do to help me. I just don't know what to do.

I will try to write this as factual, non biased and unemotional as I can do that I can see this with a clear picture.

I'm only 23 and I have my whole life ahead of me. In two days, it will be mine and my husband's 2 year anniversary. In the beginning, we fell in love and tried to wait until marriage to have sex but we caved about a month before the wedding. Neither one of us were virgins but we thought we would have a better foundation for our relationship if we did that. We had sex a lot but I was never sexually satisfied. It was very difficult for me to orgasm with oral but out of the question during sex. I had no problem orgasming with other men but I thought maybe I just felt guilty and didn't let myself enjoy it thoroughly. Either way, marriage isn't just about sex and skills get better over time, so I didnt let that affect anything. My husband has always been satisfied and I made sure of it every time we had sex. Little things started, such as him going out with his friends (who live out of state) and I could never go because I had to work and he had the days off. He would come back with videos on his phone of him and another woman swapping nipple rings. We had a impulse idea to get them pierced one time lol. He would disrespect me, call me a suing sex or when he was mad at me, just saying horrible things that made me cry. When I did start crying, instead of regretting what he said, I always noticed a smirk or a smile on his face and he would never apologize later. His excuse was that he isn't going to feel bad, if I was acting like a , he would treat me like one. When I asked him how I was acting like one, he said I would take too long getting ready.

Things got worse, he started posting on Craigslist to meet women for sex or for cuddling. After catching him and freaking out, I did some research. I know it's not my fault that he wanted to cheat, but it's usually due to something missing in our relationship. I understand the sex part because at the time I was recovering from surgery and couldn't have sex with him. But we were very cuddly and intimate, so I felt as if the cuddling hurt me worse. The sex was explainable, he was horny and not getting any from me but to me cuddling is an emotional intimate thing.

So after researching and trying to accommodate what we was missing, I came home from work with another woman in our bed. I feel like i never got a straight or truthful answer about what happened because his story kept changing about what he did do and didnt do. He is sticking to that he ate her out for hours and then he came right before he entered her, so technically didn't have sex.

After that, he promised to change, but after a few months of being good and me trusting him, he started disrespecting me again. He has only called me a once this month, but he has said a lot of mean and hurtful things. I got a sunburn the other day and asked him to rub aloe on my back and he said no. So when he wanted sex I said no because I wasnt feeling well due to the sunburn. He thought I said no because I wanted to punish him for not rubbing lotion on my back. So he threatens to get it elsewhere if I don't put out. I refused to give in because I usually do which makes him think he is okay to treat me badly because he will still get laid. I have felt so hurt and so far away from him our whole marriage. I am overweight and I have been losing weight, I lost 23 pounds in two months, which I know I could do better but I'm not even trying. I'm just so miserable. I love him and I try I touch him and he never wants to touch me back.

I feel so ugly, fat and unwanted and when I try to tell him this, he says it because I am. Sometimes he wants to cuddle at night but I always have to hold him, he rarely ever holds me. He watches porn and masturbates beside me every night because he believes that I should be the one to do all the work. He won't have foreplay with me, he just wants me to ride him until he cums and then go to bed. I'm so lonely, he doesn't even hug me back when I hug him when we see each other. I feel like we are enemies when I just want to feel his touch.

He has been on Craigslist again and he has a separate email address again with sites like POF.com, Fling.com, AshleyMadison.com and Cupid.com. In his profiles they say looking to have wild sex and he is single.

I just feel so useless. There are times where I think he is going I change, where we usually have a really good talk and okay sex. When I confronted him about the separate email addres and the sex websites he say that he is a grown man and can do whatever he wants. He says that I'm disrespecting him by checking up on him and checking his phone. He says I have no right and that if I don't like it, then I'm welcome to leave. Its so unfair that he doesn't even bother trying to make me feel loved or even get me off when I get him off almost everyday. I either ride him or give him a BJ and the only time I ever get to is if he happens to last long enough for me to and he lets me use a bullet. Since he started smoking weed, he has gotten a little better. He stop being so mean and calling me names. He stopped freaking out if the house wasn't clean and just being nicer but he is still on all those websites.

He is 5 inches and uncircumcised and gained a lot of weight so it's hard for him to find any women online anyway. But I'm still afraid he will cheat or give me an STD. We just got done his second round of STD testing from the last woman he was with.

I feel so guilty because I have been watching porn lately and masturbaing too which I usually never do. I keep imagining myself falling in love with other men or even just having wild sex with them when I'm horny. I married him even though I knew the sex wasnt that great because I loved him. Now we don't even have a good relationship and he doesn't want to change that. I wish he did.. I just want him to love me like I love him. I feel like we have exhauste everything. We did over a year of marriage counseling which seemed to make things worse. I felt like our marriage counselor thought he was the worst man in the world. He constantly said he has a sexual addiction and said he takes pleasure in seeing me hurt and makes him out to be this HORRIBLE man. When we went to see a completely different marriage counselor, she labeled him with a sexual addiction and recommended a divorce because he doesn't seem to want to try.

I know I need to end this but I need the strength to do it. I have no family or friends and I just lost my job two weeks ago and have no income. I feel guilty for thinking this but I have been thinking about sticking it out just until I get another job but sleeping with someone else. I want to find another man that will cuddle with me and maybe even sex so that when I leave him this time, I won't take him back. Last time I left him, I even filed charges for hitting me and slamming my arm in the door and throwing me to the floor. I got a restraining order but then he saw me one day and came up to me and cried and spilled his heart about how much he loved me and realized he was wrong. I have tried leaving a few times, I have stayed in the homeless shelter and I have even lived in my car for a week and a few days.

I just can't help these feelings of wing with someone who want me and loves me.... I don't want to be a cheater but I need help leaving him. I need someone emotionally. I don't know what to do.. I dont want to hurt him either and I'm not a good liar... I'm afraid I would tell him the truth.

My dad died and my mom is here in Maine somewhere but she doesn't have a place to live and I can't find her.

I don't even know why I'm here.. There is nothing anyone can do to help me. I just don't know what to do.

He dose not deserve you. Get out now while your young