Hi.

This is my first post so if I have to introduce myself elsewhere first, please tell me how?

This is the situation.

My girlfriend and I split up about 3 weeks ago, and always had protected sex.

Yesterday she tells me she is pregnant and shows me the test etc.

Obviously I will require a DNA test to prove I am the father, seeing as we always used a condom. (Could split I guess?)

Anyway say I am the father, that means I am required to give up 20% of my earnings by law.

However I return to University in September to finish off my last 2 years of an Architectural degree (Masters)

My income will be provided by 3 instalments of a student law, so how am I firstly going to afford that, and secondly if I am not earning, how can they make me pay?

I would not mind so much if the mother was nice about things, but she is a b***h.

I will not leave University, I have tried to discuss abortion as the phoetus can be no more than 3/4 weeks old (was on period before the final time we had sex)

Totally confused. She said she wouldn't expect a penny off me, wouldn't want me to see him/her which is fine but I believe law will require I pay something?

Help appreciated.

Thanks.

Where are you located?

In the US, you cannot compel her to have an abortion.

You also cannot compel her to choose adoption.

I got pregnant using a condom, the pill, and a spermicide--all correctly. Birth control FAILS on a regular basis. Yes, you should still get a DNA test, but don't be surprised if she's angry with you for doubting her if you are her only sexual partner.

A lot of our answers on law are going to really depend on where you are located, so if you could provide that information, that would be very helpful.

Hello.

I am in England.

I have since found out that as I will be a student, I will not be forced to pay towards the upbringing until I am in a settled job. It isn't that I don't want to pay, I honestly wouldn't have much spare money as I would be a full time student.

I always have the same question - was the "mother" a b*tch when you were having sex with her or did that trait develop later?

...
My income will be provided by 3 instalments of a student law, so how am i firstly going to afford that, and secondly if i am not earning, how can they make me pay?...

I assume you mean a student loan. Is this correct? Normally, a loan, as opposed to wages or salary, is not regarded as income. Expect, however, to be ordered to make specified child support payments. How you do this is your problem. The court is not likely to care that you would like to finish your education.


...
I am in England.

I have since found out that as i will be a student, i will not be forced to pay towards the upbringing until i am in a settled job. ...

That's odd.

Sweet deal guys have there: knock her up and then stay in school for the next 18 years. :(

She became a b*tch when she said she wanted me to have nothing to do with, and I quote "her baby".

Make of that what you will.

I assume you mean a student loan. Is this correct? Normally, a loan, as opposed to wages or salary, is not regarded as income. Expect, however, to be ordered to make specified child support payments. How you do this is your problem. The court is not likely to care that you would like to finish your education.

That's odd.

Sweet deal guys have there: knock her up and then stay in school for the next 18 years. :(


You left out the "and not be inconvenienced" part. Good things babies and children don't need food, shelter, clothing and all that comes with it.

There's no easy answer. I see boys (and men don't avoid their responsibiities, so they are boys) posting that the pregnancy was a surprise. I see women (some of them are girls) posting that they don't know what to do. Doesn't anyone think before taking off his/her pants? I always knew sex could equal pregnancy. I don't think that's groundbreaking news.

The expectant father is then a nut job and the expectant mother is a b*tch. These traits apparently develop immediately following ejaculation and impregnation.

A good subject for debate (on AMHD or anywhere else) is always whether the "father" should be able to force an abortion if he doesn't want/doesn't intend to support the child.

I just re-read this. Apparently the OP "wouldn't mind" paying support if the mother to be weren't such a b*tch. Maybe she'll un-b*tch in the near future in the best interest of the child.

We are both 21. We are both young and both used protection to avoid such problems. Whether the protection failed or what not, it is surely in the best interest of both myself and hers to put an end to it, before what is inside of her becomes an actual life.

Not going to go in to the abortion argument and what is right/wrong, but to me a baby should only come in to the world surrounded by 2 families united.

In our case, this is most certainly not the case.

...
Not going to go in to the abortion argument and what is right/wrong,
...

Ah, but you did.

I expect that in the UK, as it is in the US, the woman's decision to complete the pregnancy is just not any of the father's business. You don't have any say in the matter.

We are both 21. We are both young and both used protection to avoid such problems. Whether the protection failed or what not, it is surely in the best interest of both myself and hers to put an end to it, before what is inside of her becomes an actual life.

Not going to go in to the abortion argument and what is right/wrong, but to me a baby should only come in to the world surrounded by 2 families united.

In our case, this is most certainly not the case.


You just DID explain your view on abortion.

I think it's surely not in anyone's interest to risk pregnancy when you aren't prepared to raise a child.

Two families united? In a perfect World, perhaps -

We are both 21. We are both young and both used protection to avoid such problems.

to me a baby should only come in to the world surrounded by 2 families united.


Boy do you need to wake up.

Did you ever research the effectiveness of birth control? If you had, you may not have been so sure that protection would "avoid such problems". And I agree with about when a baby should come into the world. But that means NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until they are prepared to have a child.

But the both of you decided that a few minutes of physical pleasure was more important to you. Well now you have to live with the consequences of that decision.

And while you may not be required to pay support until you finish school, You will probably be required to make that support up when you get a job.