My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year now, I’ve suffered from depression on and off throughout my life and I’ve had yet to go to a doctor about it. My boyfriend tells me all the time he thinks I’m gorgeous and that he'd never leave me. But I’ve had so much bad luck in the past with guys that once I’m in any relationship I’m just waiting for that final blow to end it. Now, my boyfriend’s a tattoo artist and I was once his apprentice, I’ve completed my apprenticeship and he tells me all the time I was and is the best tattooist he's ever had. But yet when he talks to people all he does is bring up his newest apprentice's work, (whom is his cousin's girlfriend, mind you that he has his little brother apprenticing which is doing amazingly and our good friend who's a little slow at it.) She follows him around like a lost puppy (bad?)

Now here's where my problem starts. All my life I’ve been raised to think I was at the "bottom of the totem pole" or whatever you want to call it. I was never first or good enough for anything. My own mother tells me all the time that I’ve ruined my life with tattooing. Everyone that comes to the house after tattooing basically ignores me. If I talk I’m always interrupted or people trail off in the middle of me speaking. I've gotten to the point where I’m awkwardly social and stutter my words and slur. I'm too nervous to say anything or talk to any of my friends about it. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t find entertainment in anything anymore, I hardly eat, haven’t been able to sleep well for months. I have no clue what to do or even think.

I can’t go to anyone and I’ve brought all this up with my boyfriend multiple times. He says I’m fine and just need some time to cool off and get my head together. But it's been so long since I’ve felt myself. We literally just moved into our new home and my sleeping got better, but it takes me so long to fall asleep and when I do its 6 am and I sleep the whole day away.

What should I do? Should I go to the doctors? Should I say something that was unexplained to my boyfriend?

By all means see a doctor, before you panic. A check up may reveal that a solution to your problems doable. ASAP!!