Long story short, we were good friends for years! Then hooked up for 3 weeks in a row out of no where! Had sex several times. I told him I had feelings for him when I was drunk and didn't remember a thing - after discussing that night I said it was partly true but id never planned to let him know it wasn't on mind to ever let my thoughts slip... I said I didn't know if I wanted anything to happen, just that that was it and lets just see what happens? He seemed really into me the first 2 weeks and he was been quite full on with texts and begging me to stay over etc, he liked all my pictures on Facebook and was talking about me to his housemates and best friends and told me that they were happy for him! He was distant the last week but still in touch then that weekend was his 30th birthday party- I played it cool the entire night and hardly even saw him or sloke to him, just wanted to let him do his thing- plus all our mates has no idea what was going on between us! The next Monday after his party he said he had been having doubts about us and called it off in the most delicate polite way he could. He said he was having doubts because we didn't try and start dating and because we jumped to sex straight up and were too comfortable with each other having known each other for so long that there was no nervous excitement that you might get in a new relationship like butterflies in stomach, and "the chase"... said he didn't think he could give me what I want? But I never told him what I want? And we never really spoke about anything to do with us properly- anyway he also said he didn't feel as strongly about me as I did for him and that he is confused because he does really think I'm amazing, and thinks on paper we look incredible together but he didn't want to continue if he wasn't 100% sure about it, in fear of hurting me and wrecking our friendship, which I totally understood, but was confused at the amount of signals he had given me over the past weeks that I had actually thought were a little bit full on and too fast etc- anyway he was really concerned about how it make me feel and said to me that as cliché as it sounds, that it wasn't to do with me and that it was to do with him? "ha"! Always cliché when I hear it! I was naturally disappointed, but wasn't truly upset because I agreed it shouldn't have happened as it did and my feelings really were never as strong for him as he created in his mind? He seemed to amplify how I felt wayyyy out or proportion?. So I'm cool that it's ended because perhaps we did rush, I felt a sense of that myself as well, but he really thinks he's broken my heart or something? He texted me again last night to see how I was doing and how I was feeling? He apolagised again that things didn't work out- I replied and simply said " All is good, we will be laughing about this together before we know it"... he replied saying "that's the spirit! Ha-ha!" his sense of humor would have meant he said that in total shock, not in a condescending way at all- so I tried to make it clear that he has over thought everything and he has not hurt me or my opinion of him as a friend at all, I'm wondering what the hell he must be thinking? I think he does care about me and well he was sexually attracted to me enough to make it happen 6 times? But before all that he had never thought about me romantically because he'd put me in the friend basket as I'd always had a boyfriend. This all happened the wrong way around and it was all too quick and not spoken about enough or clarified enough between us along the way at all. If we do remain friends will he look at me differently now he has opened himself up to the idea of viewing me romantically? Im confident it can go back to being plutonic but he seems confused in the way he has freaked out and I wonder if he is just trying to not feel guilty? Or that he is confused now but might warm up to the idea of being together again over some time? Because we had sex several times is he going to think about that when he sees me in a social situation or around our mates? Just feel like I agree it shouldn't have happened the way it did so sex based and fast paced, but I'm worried about why he got himself so worked up? And will he distance himself as a friend because he thinks I'm super into him? It won't be hard for me to be friends and treat him like I don't have any feelings for him because I never planned on revealing in the first place so yeah a bit of a confusing sitch?

This is a tough one, as most, because I have no idea what's going on up in his coconut, but it seems as if your friendship is still there, be happy for that at least. I've known a lot of my friends getting into the same situation but never even talk after the fact. Now it's irrational to say that your friendship was not hindered by your sexual interraction, however, I am not him. Only time will tell in this one.

Best of luck,

You asked this question in another thread with several responses? This story is familiar.