uberneedhelp2
May 23, 2012, 03:44 PM
Okay so here is the situation:
Me and my girlfriend have been together for about four and a half years now. We met when she was 17 and I was 20 and there is about 2 years and 9 months between us.
So here is how things have transpired. When we met we had a fantastic relationship(as most do in the beginning), this is in regards to how we got along in terms of our personalities and sex life. Now as time moved on our sex life began to really drop off the radar from an average of 4 - 6 times a week to almost 1 time a week. This eventually has turned itself into 1 time every two to five weeks now. For the longest time I tried to get to the bottom of this situation and she assured me she was still attracted to me. However, I eventually found out this was not true. Physically she is still attracted to me but not mentally.
This is where the issues begin to arise. As we have both grown up her personality has changed and I have stayed pretty much the same. The ways in which she has changed is her level of affection with me (I have to fight her to basically get a hug sometimes). Also when she met she was a pretty big home body which was great because I am similar. However, this also changed. Now this would not be a huge issue but I am the one getting stuck paying for all of our outings and when I can no afford to she tends to get upset and I feel quite bad. All though in my opinion I should not feel bad about this.
Now one thing I would like to point out is about two and a half years ago we moved in together. This was due to a personal family tragedy on her families side. So my parents had her move in with us and this has been a huge strain on us in my opinion. Now this adds to partly to her need to go out. So I can sympathize in this regard.
Okay back to the main point. Other issues we are having is I find she is becoming a bit unappreciative in respects to her never saying "Thank you" for almost anything. When I brought this up to her she told me that I should not expect her to "grovel and kiss my feet" every time I do something. I feel this is a bit of an over exaggeration personally. I just want to feel appreciated for the things I do, especially when I know she would not do a lot of these things for me.
Recently, we had a huge argument and it basically boiled down to us almost breaking up. The problem is I do not think this would be such a bad idea any more. We both elected to continue to try to work on things but I feel like after almost 3 years of trying to work on things, we are just beating around the bush now. I feel like the words are on the tip of both of our tongues but neither of us can just come out and say it. I feel like this would be better for both us especially since it seems like we now have conflicting futures (She wants to move to another country and has recently changed her opinion on wanting kids as where I am okay with the idea of relocating but am not so willing to change my position on the children issue).
What it really seems to boil down too is that I feel like I am leaving her stranded by breaking up with her since I have been helping her pay for her tuition and also am pretty much her ride. I have tried to help her save money at the risk of screwing up my own finances. So in this regard I feel bad breaking up with her but again I feel like it is healthier. Just hard after four and a half years.
Just looking for any advice that can be provided. Thank you for taking the time to read. I realize this is a lot of information.
Me and my girlfriend have been together for about four and a half years now. We met when she was 17 and I was 20 and there is about 2 years and 9 months between us.
So here is how things have transpired. When we met we had a fantastic relationship(as most do in the beginning), this is in regards to how we got along in terms of our personalities and sex life. Now as time moved on our sex life began to really drop off the radar from an average of 4 - 6 times a week to almost 1 time a week. This eventually has turned itself into 1 time every two to five weeks now. For the longest time I tried to get to the bottom of this situation and she assured me she was still attracted to me. However, I eventually found out this was not true. Physically she is still attracted to me but not mentally.
This is where the issues begin to arise. As we have both grown up her personality has changed and I have stayed pretty much the same. The ways in which she has changed is her level of affection with me (I have to fight her to basically get a hug sometimes). Also when she met she was a pretty big home body which was great because I am similar. However, this also changed. Now this would not be a huge issue but I am the one getting stuck paying for all of our outings and when I can no afford to she tends to get upset and I feel quite bad. All though in my opinion I should not feel bad about this.
Now one thing I would like to point out is about two and a half years ago we moved in together. This was due to a personal family tragedy on her families side. So my parents had her move in with us and this has been a huge strain on us in my opinion. Now this adds to partly to her need to go out. So I can sympathize in this regard.
Okay back to the main point. Other issues we are having is I find she is becoming a bit unappreciative in respects to her never saying "Thank you" for almost anything. When I brought this up to her she told me that I should not expect her to "grovel and kiss my feet" every time I do something. I feel this is a bit of an over exaggeration personally. I just want to feel appreciated for the things I do, especially when I know she would not do a lot of these things for me.
Recently, we had a huge argument and it basically boiled down to us almost breaking up. The problem is I do not think this would be such a bad idea any more. We both elected to continue to try to work on things but I feel like after almost 3 years of trying to work on things, we are just beating around the bush now. I feel like the words are on the tip of both of our tongues but neither of us can just come out and say it. I feel like this would be better for both us especially since it seems like we now have conflicting futures (She wants to move to another country and has recently changed her opinion on wanting kids as where I am okay with the idea of relocating but am not so willing to change my position on the children issue).
What it really seems to boil down too is that I feel like I am leaving her stranded by breaking up with her since I have been helping her pay for her tuition and also am pretty much her ride. I have tried to help her save money at the risk of screwing up my own finances. So in this regard I feel bad breaking up with her but again I feel like it is healthier. Just hard after four and a half years.
Just looking for any advice that can be provided. Thank you for taking the time to read. I realize this is a lot of information.