bridalofrose
May 21, 2012, 05:56 PM
I found out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend a week later, and he went into a shock because we were fighting. I know the timing was wrong and I shouldn't have told him there and then. But it just slipped out. I'm 7 weeks pregnant now and he wanted me to have an abortion, but he knows how I feel about that and he would be here if I wanted to keep it. But I knew that if I kept it he was only going to be there because I felt he had to, but not because he wanted to. And I didn't want to force that on him, so I told him that I would have an abortion for his sake. But then he had to know that this was for him and not for me.
A few days ago I asked him what he would do if I wanted to keep it. He got quiet and asked me if I wanted something to eat since he knew that I was hungry. We got some food and he ignored me the whole night and the whole day after.
I knew something was bugging him so I asked and asked, until he told me. He told me that if I wanted to keep the baby he would leave me. Because he's not going to be happy with the child. I asked him if he would stay with me if I had an abortion, he told me that he will.
But honestly, if I would be thinking about myself and if I was going to do the thing that was best for me, I would keep it. Because I want this baby, sure I didn't want it to happen now, and I didn't mean for it to happen. But it did.
I hated my mother for leaving me and I know how it is to have a father that doesn't care and knowing that my child is going to go through the same with its father... It pains my heart and soul, if I had an abortion I would turn into my mother who left her own flesh and blood for another guy.
So I took a break from him, and told him that we needed to stay away from each other for a while. But he's been so cold lately so I just don't know what to do. If I should leave him or give it some time?
Would it be evil of me or horrible if I kept it because I want this child? Would I be a bad person to choose my child instead of him? I love him, and I miss him. But still I need to walk away and I don't know if I have the strength to walk away from him. So what should I do?
A few days ago I asked him what he would do if I wanted to keep it. He got quiet and asked me if I wanted something to eat since he knew that I was hungry. We got some food and he ignored me the whole night and the whole day after.
I knew something was bugging him so I asked and asked, until he told me. He told me that if I wanted to keep the baby he would leave me. Because he's not going to be happy with the child. I asked him if he would stay with me if I had an abortion, he told me that he will.
But honestly, if I would be thinking about myself and if I was going to do the thing that was best for me, I would keep it. Because I want this baby, sure I didn't want it to happen now, and I didn't mean for it to happen. But it did.
I hated my mother for leaving me and I know how it is to have a father that doesn't care and knowing that my child is going to go through the same with its father... It pains my heart and soul, if I had an abortion I would turn into my mother who left her own flesh and blood for another guy.
So I took a break from him, and told him that we needed to stay away from each other for a while. But he's been so cold lately so I just don't know what to do. If I should leave him or give it some time?
Would it be evil of me or horrible if I kept it because I want this child? Would I be a bad person to choose my child instead of him? I love him, and I miss him. But still I need to walk away and I don't know if I have the strength to walk away from him. So what should I do?