I was dating this man for almost 9 months, and ended 2 weeks ago. Things were great in the beginning- we instantly clicked, and the 3rd month we were together he had the ring he wanted to give me picked out and would bring up marriage and remodeling his home to make room for me and my two kids. He has two as well. All of a sudden, his dad passed away to suicide on thanksgiving. He never got along with him and said he hated him. That was the day his ex wife told him she "loved him." He told me she said that and I freaked out. The night of the funeral, and after some wine, I freaked out even more. He holds a grudge to this day about that. Gradually, through bickering about mostly his ex things with him and I got worse. He was taking on more responsibilities for his mom and work got busier, which put everything on hold for us. Then his temper eventually came out. He's mean to his kids- verbally when they are bad, yet spoils them rotten, and he says they treat him like crap. He told me that his kids and mother will be a priority and will ALWAYS come before me, or anyone. I think that's wrong and selfish. Nothing I say is ever right- he always thinks I'm fighting or trying to start one. I have tried so many ways to ask questions differently, and he always says I'm "accusing" him of things. Yet he turns it around and says he feels like he can't do or say anything right. It goes in circles. He always talked horrible stuff about his ex who is the mother of his children. HORRIBLE things. Over a week ago my boyfriend said he's sick of arguing. The moving in subject came up and he tells me that maybe he's not ready for a family of 4. Then he says- what if I don't get along with your kids? He says he feels weird about us moving in and he doesn't know why. That freaked me out, so I left. Things escalated that Saturday when I made a surprise visit at 1130 at night and saw his exes car in front of his house. I was furious. I jumped the gate and walked in. She was in his bed- WITH him in his boxers with his girls in their rooms! I "accidentally" punched him in the face and he grabbed me and threw me out. He said she was there because she needed to talk because she was going through very personal health problems, a form of psychosis and she was crying and dizzy so he told her to just go in and lay down. He is against cheating because that's what his dad did. He swears up and down NOTHING happened with no intentions and I totally don't really understand why she was there. Then I was the bad guy for walking through an unlocked door- its my fault again! He swears on his kids he's not getting back with her, and that he needs time for him, because he misses that. He just got a new Harley that I encouraged and he says he wants to be able to ride without feeling guilty (bc ex wife did that.) all I want is for him to make time for me like he does everything and everyone else. Then he'll say things like "oh, I never do anything nice for you right?!" he seems to have so many excuses as to why he needs "time." I feel like he has lied to my face a lot too. I never had trust issues, but I do now. He just keeps telling me to be patient. It's all on his terms and it's not fair. He will text still and I'm trying to not overwhelm him but I keep breaking and says that I'm pushing him away. He says there is absolutely no one else, and it has nothing to do with the ex. I love him dearly, as he does me, but he said he can't deal with the stress of fighting all the time. He takes everything as I'm trying to fight and it's exhausting! Relax and be patient, it's going on 2 weeks. He says he doesn't want to be single, and actually lately it's been nice not having to report his every move to someone. I just don't get it. I can't get my mind off him. It leads me to a depression which I've already seen my doctor for. It happens every breakup. The thing is, I have been so good to him, and treated his kids like my own. I go out of my way to do so many nice things for him too. Why is he letting the fighting overweigh the good things? No one will put up with him- he does have issues, and I have been told I can get anyone I want. I want him though. I want him back. He's getting annoyed with me because I'm pushing him. It's not fair that he leaves me hanging though. He said he wants to move slow and every time I word something wrong, it turns into a fight. It's ridiculous! I just want things to be normal. I don't want him to enjoy the single life and ditch me while I'm being patient. He said he's not about that. He's so hard headed and stubborn like me. HELP!

Anyone help?