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View Full Version : I need information on what to do to get help to leave my husband?


msmsgsc
May 20, 2012, 03:02 PM
I have been married for 23 yrs. And we have 3 children 22, 18, & 11. 2 years ago my husband had an accident at work and hasn't worked since.

The wreck changed him, he only thinks of himself and what "HE'S" been through. He has PTSD or at least he says he does and goes to 2 therapist a month, but it hasn't help. Since the wreck he has become hateful, neglectful, verabally abusive, etc. We have had to move twice in 2 yrs. And I had to quit college.

He got an $80,000 dollar workers comp settlement in Nov 2011 and we were broke by Jan 2012. He blows money like crazy! He gained a lot of weight while home and instead of losing it the normal way like everyone else he bought illegal steroids over the internet from other countries. He made his own injectable from animal steroids then bought pills (D-Ball I think?). He didn't act as bad on just the shots, but once he started the pills too he became worse.

He loves me more than life itself one day and the next I am stupid, coo-coo, ignorant, and a dumb because I can't understand all the options on my new digital canon camera. We have to listen to his rant for hours over nothing. He will bring up something that happened 24 yrs ago or go from one thing to the next and they each have nothing to do with the other. He has a huge issue with getting older. We have to hear about "when he was in his 20's all the time...especially at the gym".

He has never hit me or our kids, but this past Friday night he went off on me about my camera and he raged for 3 hours, I finally went to the bedroom to flush his steroids and he followed me. I locked the door and he kicked it in and busted it to pieces (it is solid wood), then grabbed my camera case and said he was going to shatter it. Our girls grabbed it and they struggled, eventually falling to the ground on top of them. Our middle daughter bit him to the point of bringing blood and he still wouldn't let go. I has to choke him from behind to get him to let go.

I wanted to call the police, but our 11 year old son was there and so was his friend. Our oldest daughter went to pieces, she just got out of a 3 year severely abusive relationship in Jan of this year. He is totally out of control and I want to leave him, I can't take his BS anymore.

His family are ALL drug addicts or alcoholics and he swore to never be like them, but he is more like them than ever before. He reminds me of his sick, abusive Father more than ever now. He even looks like him... I hated his Dad! I have no job, no money, and need to get out ASAP!

I am looking for work and an apartment on James Island in the Fort Johnson middle school district. I don't know where to turn or where to go for help. I have googled all day, but have turned up nothing. I am so frustrated! Your website is the first I have found all day that makes sense. I need help immediately!

WisperWill70
May 22, 2012, 12:57 AM
I have been married for 23 yrs. And we have 3 children 22, 18, & 11. 2 years ago my husband had an accident at work and hasn't worked since.

The wreck changed him, he only thinks of himself and what "HE'S" been through. He has PTSD or at least he says he does and goes to 2 therapist a month, but it hasn't help. Since the wreck he has become hateful, neglectful, verabally abusive, etc. We have had to move twice in 2 yrs. And I had to quit college.

He got an $80,000 dollar workers comp settlement in Nov 2011 and we were broke by Jan 2012. He blows money like crazy! He gained a lot of weight while home and instead of losing it the normal way like everyone else he bought illegal steroids over the internet from other countries. He made his own injectable from animal steroids then bought pills (D-Ball I think?). He didn't act as bad on just the shots, but once he started the pills too he became worse.

He loves me more than life itself one day and the next I am stupid, coo-coo, ignorant, and a dumb because I can't understand all the options on my new digital canon camera. We have to listen to his rant for hours over nothing. He will bring up something that happened 24 yrs ago or go from one thing to the next and they each have nothing to do with the other. He has a huge issue with getting older. We have to hear about "when he was in his 20's all the time...especially at the gym".

He has never hit me or our kids, but this past Friday night he went off on me about my camera and he raged for 3 hours, I finally went to the bedroom to flush his steroids and he followed me. I locked the door and he kicked it in and busted it to pieces (it is solid wood), then grabbed my camera case and said he was going to shatter it. Our girls grabbed it and they struggled, eventually falling to the ground on top of them. Our middle daughter bit him to the point of bringing blood and he still wouldn't let go. I has to choke him from behind to get him to let go.

I wanted to call the police, but our 11 year old son was there and so was his friend. Our oldest daughter went to pieces, she just got out of a 3 year severely abusive relationship in Jan of this year. He is totally out of control and I want to leave him, I can't take his BS anymore.

His family are ALL drug addicts or alcoholics and he swore to never be like them, but he is more like them than ever before. He reminds me of his sick, abusive Father more than ever now. He even looks like him...I hated his Dad! I have no job, no money, and need to get out ASAP!

I am looking for work and an apartment on James Island in the Fort Johnson middle school district. I don't know where to turn or where to go for help. I have googled all day, but have turned up nothing. I am so frustrated! Your website is the first I have found all day that makes sense. I need help immediately!


You are doing the right thing for your family. Your husband's mental health problems are negatively impacting you, your kids and himself. Many of these problems could be related to his PTSD but also the steroids (and illegal steroids) could be contributing to his emotional volatility and inability to control his rage. You need to leave your relationship and get to a safe place so you can figure out ways to move forward. I recommend, if he lashes out again, as you're making preparations to leave, that you call the police and file a police report, get a restraining order if you need to. (Hubby isn't in his right mind so don't feel guilty about this) -- If you are in the Charleston area, there are domestic violence shelters that help families in emergency situations where there is no place to stay, no job, no resources all the time... go there, speak to a clinical social worker or case worker and get information on how to safely leave your situation. They have experience and referrals for temporary housing, shelter and job referrals, etc. Getting some help for yourself is of paramount importance. Don't wait until he hurts someone. Abuse is not only physical and he doesn't need to be hitting you for you to get help. Good luck!

Fr_Chuck
May 28, 2012, 05:33 PM
First why not use what happened, his kicking door in and get a order of protection against him, and force him to move out. If they accept the order, he can not come back to the house.

Or you pack up the kids, and just go to family or somewhere.