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VintageHeart93
May 20, 2012, 09:18 AM
We've been together for almost 3 years. During school, we have a long distance relationship and I only see him once every month or every other month. Now that it's summer I expected to see him a lot more. I haven't seen him in a week. With that in mind I would think he would text me or call me once or twice, but he doesn't. I'm usually the one to initiate a text or call. He's been hanging out with the guys all week, which is understandable. So I try to keep myself busy and do other things. If he does text me I get one "good morning" in the afternoon and don't hear from him all day.

I send him multiple texts throughout the day to see how he is or maybe, what I'm doing, facts, etc.. then if I don't hear from him for more than 6 hours I call. When/If he doesn't pick up I text him again saying I apologize for texting so much and I just avoid my phone or just keep busy.=/ When he does pick up, he doesn't say much.. I feel like I miss him more than he misses me.. Though when we're together he talks more and is a bit more engaged than when we're not together... I don't understand him.. Am I being needy? Paranoid?

He's also started to lie to me, I think. Yesterday when I talked to him briefly I heard guys in the background. I asked him if he watching TV or something, he said no and that he didn't hear anything. I was suppose to spend that day with him (which was rescheduled for that day), but he said his car wasn't working. He told me he was home doing laundry, etc. Though I do know that sometimes the guys come over and pick him up and spend the night.. idk.. maybe it was nothing

What's going on? Am I the problem? Should I talk to him?

Homegirl 50
May 20, 2012, 01:45 PM
When you are in a relationship and you have concerns you should talk. Communication keeps assumptions from getting out of hand.
Stop calling and texting. Let him reach out to you. If he doesn't then you know you might have a problem.

VintageHeart93
May 21, 2012, 07:11 PM
He just broke up with me... He told me he loves me but isn't in live with me and still cares about me. He told me he doesn't think we should talk and that if I want to be friends I should call him.. :( I'm so sad...

Homegirl 50
May 21, 2012, 08:43 PM
Well now you know. You go no contact now so you can heal.

VintageHeart93
May 22, 2012, 08:54 AM
I have a strong feeling that he's going to come back like last time... But I know I should move on... He told me he doesn't think we should talk to each other for the next couple of weeks and that if I need him I should call him.

Homegirl 50
May 22, 2012, 09:28 AM
You don't need the back and forth. Not talking to him is for the best.
Leave him completely alone.

VintageHeart93
May 22, 2012, 10:28 AM
I understand :( It's just going to be so hard...

Homegirl 50
May 22, 2012, 01:21 PM
I know. We will be here for pep talks.
:-)

VintageHeart93
May 22, 2012, 02:21 PM
I still have a huge feeling he'll try to come back to me. I've talked to many of my friends and they pretty much told me the same thing you said; to leave him alone and if he wants me he'll talk to me. We're not in a relationship anymore so there is no use in making an effort. I just don't understand how you can go from "I love you so much" one week to "I don't love you the same way you do anymore" the next. A WEEK! Which affirms to me he's fickle. Just like last time. He says last time he did it because he just didn't want to be in a relationship. This time it's different and he can feel it. I just don't understand..

Homegirl 50
May 22, 2012, 02:27 PM
So he has done this before and you took him back?
Could be he is talking to someone else and likes to keep his options (you) open. People say I love you every day and don't mean it. You go by what he does, not what he says.
He would not get another chance with me. If he did come back, he would be "to too little too late" then "No!

VintageHeart93
May 22, 2012, 02:49 PM
Yes, because I wanted to give him another chance. But this time he said he has a feeling. I asked him if there was anyone else and he said no.. I really do want to talk to him... but not to get back with him.. He said he was "adamant". But like I said, I really do feel he'll pull the same thing again..

Homegirl 50
May 22, 2012, 05:49 PM
Leave him alone. Don't talk to him and don't take him back again if he changes his mind again.
I wonder if there is not another girl in the picture, or he just wants to be free. Either way, leave him be and you move on.