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View Full Version : I feel used and confused from ex- husband.


stevey19
May 17, 2012, 06:53 PM
I've been separated from my ex-husband for almost 2 years. Been moved out for a year. I choose to leave because there were a lot of arguments and I was left feeling neglected. He has always chosen his best friend over me and he now loves [lives? -ed.] with him too because his wife left also.

He invites me over only for sex and says he wants me to move back in. I still love him and we still talk about things that happened but I feel rusty he will never change. Why does he treat me so badly where he treats everyone better? I was always faithful, never went out with friends because I'd stay home with the kids, worked and not to mention kept up with the housework and was never appreciated for it.

While we renovated I would be up endless hours doing them plus housework and work and raise kids with only a few hours of sleep a night. If I needed help with something he would sit on the couch or if I wanted to do something with him example family movie night, he was too tired. But if his best friend called him to go out he was out with him no problem and he constantly lies to his family and friends and them blames it on me. Not to mention other girls.

Do men just go out with girls for coffee and tell their wives they're at work? But swears he never cheated on me. If there was nothing why the lies? He had toys to the galore and complained he had nothing because of me. Said he never had affection. Hard to give affection if he was never home. I never was appreciated at all and all I wanted was a thank you. I wasn't superwoman and I'm only human. Sooner or later I was going to burn out and finally leave.

I'm a good looking woman and just to mention have gained confidence and can be me and not worried about the put-downs. Any advice to what I should do? I'm ready to date again. Just so confused.

Fr_Chuck
May 17, 2012, 07:09 PM
No, most men do not do that, childish men or men with no moral values do.

he is not using you for sex because you allow him to, it is cheaper than him paying a hooker or a massage palor. You are like a discount booty call, surprised he does not want a three way with his friend there.

Time to have respect and stop worry about him and why he is that way. Time to demand things of him, or let him go by the way side. You get used, because you allow it.

talaniman
May 18, 2012, 09:08 AM
Stop being used for sex, and keep any contact about the kids, and do as you please with your life. But don't blame him for using you since you allow it!

Take some responsibility for your own actions.

stevey19
May 18, 2012, 07:54 PM
Well I've decided to move on and that's what I will do. A lot has opened me up lately such as how much he jumps for his friend for so many years and there's a reason people call them dumb and dumber. I'm surprised they don't share the same bed. Anyway its going on two weeks and no sex and he's pissed off. My excuse is because his friend is their and I'm not comfortable. He's tried to invite himself over and I told him that he needs to stay home to keep his friend company. Accuses me of seeing someone and I don't care. It's not all that good when two bachelors who live together and are separated for the same reasons. If he can bash his family and Friends all the time I wonder what he says about me? *****? Cause I'm a stubborn woman who loves to be tough and that's what I'm going to do.