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View Full Version : My boyfriend has very low sex drive


PCL90
May 16, 2012, 10:24 AM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 4 years now. I'm 21 and he is 23. When we met we were both virgins. We started having oral sex and never progressed past that. I would have liked to have but he didn't want to because he was afraid I would get pregnant. I respected that and understood that he was just trying to be responsible.

We always talked about finally having intercourse when he felt financially secure enough to take care of our situation if I ever did get pregnant. Now he has graduated college and his working on his masters degree. I am finishing college up and have a small online business. He also has a pretty well paying job in the meantime.

Let me just say, if I was to get pregnant I would probably get an abortion at this point in my life. I don't want to sound calloused about this but I have thought it through many times and know I am not at the point in my life where I could handle raising a child. My boyfriend knows this and agrees with me.

So, my point is is that we are now financially secure. However, my boyfriend still won't have intercourse with me. In fact in order to have any sort of sex with him, I always have to initiate it. It's come to be very depressing. I have asked him why he never initiates sex and he never really gives me a straight answer. We have oral sex very sporadically - maybe once every two weeks now.

I started taking birth control and bought condoms but that still isn't enough to sway him. I have a very high sex drive and it's starting to cause a big problem in our relationship. Another big issue is that while I know my boyfriend is an attractive guy, I have trouble being sexually turned on by him. He's not very dominant.

I have tried talking to him many times about our sexual relationship but he always gets defensive even when I tell him I'm not mad at him and I just want to talk about it. He always ends up blaming all the problems on me even when he's obviously wrong about it.

We have been living together for about 2.5 years now and I feel like I am more of a roommate to him now that a girlfriend he loves and cherishes.

Another thing I should mention is that I prefer to be naked or at least partially clothed when I am at home. I am just more comfortable this way. I wonder if him seeing my naked all the time has ruined the excitement of seeing me naked in bed for him?

Our relationship in many other aspects is pretty good. We have the same interests and friends etc. so I am really not sure if this is something that should be a be red flag indicating our relationship isn't mean to be or what.

I feel like my life is passing before me and I need to get out of this relationship and seize my opportunities while I can if this relationship isn't going to work out.

ceebeeluckee
May 28, 2012, 09:33 PM
It could be a mental block. Does he ever have any kind of performance issues during oral or other play? It could be that he was just using the excuse of pregnancy to cover up his worries about performance or other issues, such as maybe he knows that you prefer a dominant man, and he worries that he won't be up to par in that department.