View Full Version : How do I get over my first love ?
snowbunny1996
May 13, 2012, 12:54 PM
I'm in love with this guy and he was my everything and still is but he hates me and won't talk to me and he's way over me but I still love him... how do I get over my first love ?
AGold737
May 13, 2012, 01:12 PM
im in love with this guy and he was my everything and still is but he hates me and wont talk to me and hes way over me but i still love him ...how do i get over my first love ?
"Absence will only make the heart grow fonder" In this instance, you need some time alone to consider what you may have done to cause your ex boyfriend to dislike you the way he does now. Do some soul searching to find out whether you deserve the treatment that he is currently giving you. While you are going through this process, you may begin to understand that you in fact don't deserve this treatment and may be able to begin to move on from this heartache.
My heart goes out to you. I pray you can find some closure and move on. It is always difficult to move on from your first love, But it is possible. Have some faith and in my opinion pray to your higher power if you have one for some guidance.
snowbunny1996
May 13, 2012, 01:17 PM
Thank you and I already no what I have one and I re geret it a lot and I already no I deserve what he is doing
Fr_Chuck
May 13, 2012, 01:19 PM
You get over it by finding your next love,
snowbunny1996
May 13, 2012, 01:21 PM
Thanks u guys are so help full
AGold737
May 13, 2012, 01:33 PM
thank you and i already no what i have one and i re geret it a lot and i already no i deserve what he is doing
The next question I have for you is simply this. Is it possible for him to forgive you and can you begin to forgive yourself for the improper treatment you put him through. Is there a possibility that you may put him through something worse if he chooses to come back into your life intimately?
Consider all possible routes before you take the next step of your journey with this man. Fix yourself before you try and fix your relationship, That way he sees a change and more importantly has a good reason to get back with you.
I hope it goes well
AGold737
May 13, 2012, 01:36 PM
thx u guys are so help full
Always learn from your good and bad experiences that way you grow and mature. Don't just go and jump into the next relationship without realizing what caused the first one to fail
snowbunny1996
May 13, 2012, 01:39 PM
Thank you
snowbunny1996
May 13, 2012, 01:44 PM
You guys are so help-full this thing I have done was terrible he deserves to be mad at me and I don't think I could ever forgive myself
AGold737
May 14, 2012, 05:27 AM
I can only speak for myself in this instance. I am knowledgeable in this area due in no small part to the fact that I have been in the same situation you are in right now about 3 years ago. It ultimately caused my marriage to fail. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes and not learn from my past mistakes. You only live once snowbunny. I say you should live this life well and be happy while you are living it. I regret my past mistakes with my ex-wife every day. However I can't dwell on it or I will slowly begin to become a hopeless wreck. We have to be able to move on which takes a bit of tender loving care on our parts while we begin to understand what really drives us to make our decisions that tend to cause us pain when deep down we already know better than to perform these acts to begin with. We already know what we are getting ourselves into before we even decide to commit to any act to begin with. We always ned to weigh out our options before we commit to any act.
My heart goes out to you Snowbunny and I hope things work out for you and your ex or that you find another one to take his place ONLY after you learn from your mistakes.
Have a good day.
snowbunny1996
May 14, 2012, 01:31 PM
Thank you so much I understand where your coming from and yes I should have looked at the pros and cons before I did what I do I regret every moment of it I just wish I could go back and fix it but I know that is impossible to do. My heart gos out to you as well, my life has been such a differences sense the last time I see him, and I miss every moment with him and now he won't talk to me at all and he hates me and has moved on with someone new... it brakes my heart to picture him with her doing the things we use to, he was my first everything and now I lost everything I lived for I still love him with all my heart and I don't really think that will ever change I wish and hope it will though
AGold737
May 14, 2012, 02:22 PM
thank u so much i understand where your coming from and yes i should have looked at the pros and cons before i did what i do i regret every moment of it i just wish i could go back and fix it but i know that is impossible to do. my heart gos out to you as well, my life has been such a differences sense the last time i see him, and i miss every moment with him and now he wont talk to me at all and he hates me and has moved on with someone new... it brakes my heart to picture him with her doing the things we use to, he was my first everything and now i lost everything i lived for i still love him with all my heart and i don't really think that will ever change i wish and hope it will thoTis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
This seems like a romeo and juliet experience. I've been having to learn to move on myself from whatI put my ex-wife through and more importantly live with and deal with it. Your right. It wont ever go away and in my opinion it shouldn't. The pain from the experience will help remind of you or me o what we could have had had we not messed up the way we did. I miss the moments in the beginning of my relationship with my ex-wife a lot they were so innocent. We both lost our virginity to one another. I was 18 and she was 16. Her family couldn't accept my shattered and disturbed past for what it was and advised her to terminate the relationship. After dealing with her family threatening me for what felt like ages I left her which broke her heart . I personally dont believe she ever fully recovered from it.
After we got back together 6 month's later she had changed and so had I.in the worst way if you ask me. The trust was shattered in many ways and it was never the same. Love between a man and a woman has to be nurtured and taken care of above all. Intimacy has to remain between the couple or the relationship is bound for failure. I have yet to find a woman to taim my wild heart but one day I'm sure I will. Until then I wait paitiently for Mrs Right to finish the puzzle that is my life.
Time will take it's course if you will let it and part of that course is for you to find another man to begin to take his place. Be warned though. Dont go into the next relationship with the expectations you had of your ex. No one is ever perfect. Humans are a naturally flawed species. Accept him for his flaws and the healing from your past will begin to take it's due course.
You will find love again snowbunny, but it takes time. My advice, "Let love find you"
snowbunny1996
May 14, 2012, 02:44 PM
Your words have brought tears to my eyes spoken so true, my heart go's folly to you I know so many people think I'm to young to love but I disagree I was and still am in love but I o want to love again. I miss the felling I had well I was with him, I wouldn't wish the way I fell on anyone its as bad as death to me. I miss him and I wish he known how bad this is killing me him not talking to me even just as a friend. He took my virginity he was 16 and I 15 but now we're both 16. He is my life but I guess he would disagree about everything I have said. And I would love to say thank you for talking to me you have helped me a lot xoxo my heart gos out to you 1000% thanks again
smoothy
May 14, 2012, 04:07 PM
Is this the same guy you ran away from home with you talk about in another thread?
snowbunny1996
May 14, 2012, 04:24 PM
Yes, yes it is
AGold737
May 15, 2012, 03:24 AM
your words have brought tears to my eyes spoken so true, my heart go's folly to you i know so many people think I'm to young to love but i disagree i was and still am in love but i o want to love again. i miss the felling i had well i was with him, i wouldn't wish the way i fell on anyone its as bad as death to me. i miss him and i wish he known how bad this is killing me him not talking to me even just as a friend. he took my virginity he was 16 and i 15 but now we're both 16. he is my life but i guess he would disagree about everything i have said. and i would love to say thank you for talking to me you have helped me a lot xoxo my heart gos out to you 1000% thanks again
Don't worry about it. My Higher power guides me and my footsteps as long as I remain in his will. I'll find the one for me soon. Just have to be patient
I wish the best of luck to you as well
snowbunny1996
May 20, 2012, 03:59 PM
How do I stop crying over what I lost?
smoothy
May 20, 2012, 05:41 PM
How do you get over them? The same way you get over a pet that died... you just do it and move on... you are going to have a lot of other loves before you find the right one...
At 16 you certainly haven't made the right choices.. and you have years of learning before you will... think that's being mean... wait until you are 26, and laugh at 16 year olds and how they worry about the most petty things...
You are 16 and a kid... be a kid... its going to end soon enough and you have to start being an adult... then there is no looking back.
FirstChair
May 20, 2012, 05:42 PM
We all go through emotional stages for one reason or another. Memories even long ago may resurface and there we go again having an emotional moment. Tears can be a good thing and anyone who suppresses tears is doing more harm to themselves emotionally and physically. For a couple of reason chemical toxins are release in tears and tears can be emotionally healing.
Suggestion: Write everything down that you want to tell him, but do not give it to him. Fold it up and take it to a place you have no intentions of visiting again, dig a hole and bury the piece of paper... it is a symbol of burying all the emotional hurt, pain, and loss. The relationship was not meant to endure as so many other young love relations. If you go looking for someone else to open your emotions to or have sex with, it will most often end like the first and you may find yourself in an emotional circle going from guy to guy.
Respect yourself and recommit to keeping it on a friendship only level by being friends with a number of guys and not pairing off with one guy only at your young age. In fact why don't you hang out with female friends who want to wait as well. You can learn from each other, hopefully.
snowbunny1996
May 21, 2012, 05:26 AM
Thank you you guys are so truthfull I love it . Its hard to live the life I'm in but I am trying.. thanks again
AGold737
May 21, 2012, 06:50 PM
Ultimately. You must acknowledge the pain for what it is. Address it and own it. With that will come a strength from with-in which some would call from God (I personally would) This strength will help you overcome your grief gradually. Just make sure to learn from this heartbreaking experience. It you be very unwise to go through an ordeal such as this one without learning from the experience itself.
snowbunny1996
May 27, 2012, 10:00 AM
Thanks
AGold737
May 27, 2012, 12:05 PM
thx
That took a while.. Hope everything is going well