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View Full Version : Caused her too much hurt, she left me.


concept1440
May 11, 2012, 09:55 AM
My girlfriend broke up with me the other day, and it is wearing on me. I am still working out, eating healthy, and focusing on me, but I have also been blocking myself from the emotions. Our relationship started as just a casual hookup, yet there was a connection, and she was more into settling down as I was. It took us 8 months to be "bf and gf", because I was such a tool that it took that long to ask. She has always had trust issues with me because of how I was in the beginning, only once did I cheat and I made out with a girl.

Over the last few months I have stayed with her, and although I had stopped my flirty ways, our new problem was that she thought I was using her for her apt and things started to get complacent. I don’t show my emotions much, and I didn’t complement her enough, or tell her how I felt, which she didn’t like.

Fast forward to today. We were almost done this semester at college together as a real couple, and I couldn't wait to get done because I was ready for a fresh start with her, to create a healthy fun loving relationship, and maybe even fall in love. Last week she saw a conversation I had with a girl I'm friends with, that was flirty and not very nice to my girlfriend. I honestly don’t have any feelings for this girl, it just looked bad.

My girlfriend dumped me and gave me all my stuff. I wrote her a letter saying I'm sorry for the things I’ve done, and how I plan on fixing them. She wrote me a letter back 2 days later, and I told her I wouldn't look at it. She started crying and I knew what was in it. I still have not looked at it, although the last sentence said I'm sorry but this is goodbye josh, you have hurt me to many times, and it’s too late to make up for it. So here is where I'm at.

I want her back of course, and in the week we have been broken up, I have given her plenty of space. I'm wondering where I go from here. She is living in town for another month before she goes home for the summer. Do I do things to show her I'm changing and want to be more open with her? Do I do these things sparingly so not to smother her? Do I even have a chance? Where do I go from here?

talaniman
May 11, 2012, 01:35 PM
Leave her alone so you both can heal. Read her letter, she read yours.

Darkangelxx
May 11, 2012, 02:02 PM
U should leave your alone bcs just trying is going to make it more painful than it is

WisperWill70
May 11, 2012, 03:27 PM
You show great awareness about the mistakes you've made and you even seem like you care and want to rectify them... but... on the other hand while you have these wonderful intentions you've been knee deep in doing bone-headed things. You either love your girlfriend and want to work on those things OR you flirt with another girl, cheat or insult your girlfriend. You will have a hard time explaining both of these conflicting intentions. If you already had that awareness why were you setting yourself up with the behaviour with that other girl? Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words to women.

If I were you, I'd respect her decision to leave a painful situation (with no assurance it could get better). Something tells me you're still in the "someday I will really try - I will show some of my feelings, I'll be demonstrative, I'll make this really great fresh start" but in the PRESENT reality - it's always "later on" or "after x, y, z" (after this semester) or not right now -- or not here. It's always displaced from where you are RIGHT NOW. You might have some self-growth to do to where you could be 100% serious and committed to changing your beliefs and patterns.

CoruptedAngel
May 11, 2012, 10:16 PM
"Leave her alone so you both can heal. Read her letter, she read yours."

I agree with him and good luck

Homegirl 50
May 12, 2012, 08:40 AM
Leave her alone. I don't think you know what you want.
You said, "I was ready for a fresh start with her, to create a healthy fun loving relationship, and maybe even fall in love. "
Leave her alone