I have been dating my man for close to 4 yrs. He is 49-I'm 25. We have sex 2-3 times a week. And it used to be when I saw him he would grab my butt, or I would catch him staring at me (not so much these days). He is a mounted officer for week, & gets up in the AM , I week PM. So right off the bat, I know we have opposite schedules. He is usually tired and seems to be grumpy more often as of late. On top of that, there are some serious financial issues taking place possible loss of property, a divorce that was finalized a yr ago after being married 20yrs, a son who just got bk to USA from the war, & a son who is living at home who doesn't wk/filthy/plays video games/engaged. I on the other hand, just graduated w/ a BA in psychology- going bk for psy.d, and have many aspirations to obtain.

I love him and he confesses the same- yet he is moody! Sometimes we enjoy ourselves to the max, other times, what would seem like a perfect evening is trashed! I used to send him naughty texts, and sometimes he would send me the same- simply stating "I want you," for he doesn't express feelings well. I dress up in sexy lingerie, have showed up at his house with just a trench coat on and red heels, sexy stuff, for I like to keep it interesting. However now, when I make any mentioning of sex he lets out a HUGE sigh as though annoyed as HELL, and states "oh, you're talking about sex again."
Now I try to be understanding of all of the things that are taking place in his life, and I tell him I am there for him and have proven so. STILL he makes comments such as: "you think bc you're pretty you should have the world, I feel pressured to dress up when we go out bc you always dress up(eventhough I said he didnt have to), how long are you going to be up, u don't want a serious relationship because you wouldn't have went on a trip by yourself with girlfriends!" He makes statements to constantly discredit my love, loyalty, and time spent w/ him. In the PAST like the 1st 6months we met, I cheated, and again about 2 yrs ago- but since then I have been LOYAL. Yet he refers to those occasions as often as possible when I talk about taking our relationship to the next level.
My sex drive is higher than his and he had been keeping up... LATELY he doesn't seem interested half the damn time, he rolls his eyes when I mention sex, & he doesn't innitiate it usually.
There's so many things I could write on and on- such as he doesn't compliment me EVER- he complains about the $ he has to spend, he gets mad easily, he yells at me for no reason, he doesn't like me hanging out with friends, he gets mad if I don't answer the phone and he questions everything I do! But- I will keep it to, are we just not cut out for each other? Is he just super tired and thinks I only want him for sex? Or is he seeing someone else and done with our relationship? I am so confused. ALL I know is that I want more- a marriage and children- Frankly I don't think he cares because he already has had that...

Studies show that men put a huge amount of importance on bringing home the bacon - basically financial problems can drain a man of sexual desire in no time. That plus your impending career, his sons, his divorce, it's no wonder! Try to stop thinking it has anything to do with your attractiveness. And because of your age difference and love of looking good, he probably is worried that you are out trolling for new men, so that makes him suspicious and jealous. I highly doubt he is seeing anyone.
The question isn't should you leave him, it's do you want to keep him? If you do, then you need to either have a good long therapy session with each other, pretending there's a therapist sitting there (so it's free) or you need to check your insurance about seeing a therapist together.
Start by dropping the notion that his lack of desire has anything to do with your lack of attractiveness.

Sorry but it appears you fail to acknowledge his current problems and demand that he give you full attention, and take it as a personal affront. You miss the point of recognizing he is further into a life where you are just starting, and are about youthful fun, and adventure and eyes full of romance with nothing like he has to drag you down.

You may have thought age ain't nothing but a number, but that's a saying that people use as an excuse to justify there own choices, but makes a difference when you consider real life, and your place in it.

They only way I see this working is YOU understanding MORE where he is, and please don't think anyone can just forget being cheated on twice, and its no badge of honor that you have been loyal since because you should have been loyal from the beginning. He has a LOT to deal with and overcome.

What you want will take years to develop, and if you don't have time to let it, then you are not in it, to win it. And should leave. Kind of selfish to expect everything to be about you, when knowing he has a plateful of problems to solve, and you being one of them. In reality, sometimes are good, some are bad, and a good couple copes with the bad, and enjoys the good, because they know things can change really fast, at any time. Nothing stays the same so adjust.