My boyfriend will not have sex with me no matter how hard I try to get him to. I am 21 and he is 21. We have been together for 3 years. We live together and are in a committed long term relationship. We both go to school, and I also work.
For over a year now my boyfriend will not have sex with me. Over the past year we maybe have had sex 6 times and we share a bed together every night. What's really weird is that he sees me naked all the time, we even take showers together. He is very lovey. We sit together all the time and cuddle and kiss, but no sex ever. I am not unattractive, people tell me I am beautiful and so does he.
He says he loves me with all his heart and never wants to be apart from me. We talk about getting married all the time.
When I try to talk with him about why he doesn't want to have sex... he responds with " i dont feel like it". So when I try and "make him feel like it" he pushes me away and tells me to stop. Back at the beginning of our relationship we did not have this problem at all...
He is a very anti social person so I know he is not cheating on me. He goes to school and plays on his computer. That's all.
I have tried talking with him over and over and over about this. And every time I can't get a real answer other than "i dont feel like it" and he says "we will, when i feel like it". And this is the ONLY thing that we argue about. I am no longer trying because it only hurts me to be denied over and over. Its killing me actually. I want to have sex... and he refuses. He says sex isn't everything in a relationship and I agree, but I am 21 and in a sexless relationship. I tell him that at this point... its not about the sex... its about WHY he won't have sex with me. I have told him how badly this hurts me. I have told me many times that this makes me feel horrible, ugly, unloved and still nothing changes.
I have threatened to leave him over this... but I am in love with him and I honestly believe he is in love with me. It would kill us both to not be together, but I can't remain in this relationship that feels like best friends who kiss. Should I leave him? Other than this one problem we are a completely normal happy couple. We have dinner together every night, love on each other all the time, sleep together, shower together, and I just don't understand.
Also, I am 100% sure this has nothing to do with him being afraid of getting me pregnant. Please give me some good advice because I can no longer live like this.

Their a lot of reasons he might not want to have sex 1.he wants to wait until he's married to have sex again 2.he might not like having sex with 3.he might be gay 4.he might be sleeping with someone else , not all man are sex crazed but I do find it weird he's never in the mood just use different stratagies to turn him on don't pressure him that might make him nervous or turn him off he might also feel as though he doesn't please you maybe one day when he's sleep wake him up to something special but you should be happy that you have a man that doesn't need sex

Uh, I think there is a problem. I don't know that he will ever tell you what it is. You can try to talk to him about it, but good luck. It will only get worse after marriage. The possibility of being gay is a valid point, I would look into that. Also, has your appearance changed as in weight gain, have your lives grown apart, communication down? A guy who refuses sex after 2 or 3 years of a relationship has a problem, or perhaps you have a problem together. I would talk it out. I can't imagine a young woman sleeping in the same bed with a healthy young man and not having sex for a year. If you can't figure out the problem, bail out.

You're much more tolerant than me but I also have a really strong sex drive when I'm in a relationship. I would've bailed after the first month but I also consider sex an important aspect in a relationship. It's certainly not everything but it's important in my book. I wouldn't be surprised if he is gay to be quite honest. You're super young and have your entire life ahead of you. I'd call it quits.

I am in the same position and it sucks. This is why I'm on the computer at 12:20am reading this instead of sleeping soundly (like my BF!! ) I have no answers as I would have given them myself. I don't thunk your man is gay- u can tell. My boyfriend is DEFFO not. But it is so heart breaking when you want to be close with somebody and they reject u. Myself esteem is battered abit What I would say is- don't forget to be angry. Why should we sit up all night lookong for answers, why ahould we lose sleep searchin for an option that will bring us the ultimate solution. Why should we be the ones that bring it up in comversation when it's their problem. Although I will support my boyfriend as he has been through a lot. Only he can change hos actions. Im nlt begging anymore. I just can't understand why he just "doesnt have the urge" I haven't changed a bit- have u? X

Ps: sorry about my awful mis spellings!! X