Lucingous
May 9, 2012, 04:42 PM
So here's the story between my girlfriend and I. I am in the military, and met her just about before I left for my deployment. We were not in a relationship at the time, and we did not have sex. I deployed for around three months, and she and I talked every chance we could while I was gone. Even though I was deployed, we still formed a relationship and she became my girlfriend. Fast forward to the DAY before I get back home, when I first get in country, and she tells me that she was having stomach pains. At the end of the day, on our last skyping session, she tells me she found out she's pregnant. She reveals that she's four months pregnant, and the father is the boyfriend she was with last. She tells me all of this as she breaks into tears. I tell her that everything is going to be OK, even though I'm shocked as hell and probably more afraid than she is.
I meet with her for the first time in three months the next day, and spend virtually every moment of our time together for the next two months (till now). I've fallen in love with this woman, and I really love being around her and sharing everything with her. The problem comes with that I'm afraid of this situation. She is pregnant with another man's child, and I don't know what to do. We want to move in together and everything, but I fear that I would be unintentionally assuming the father's role, even though I don't want to be a father. I'm not ready, but I really do love this woman and don't want anything to make me let go of her.
She seems even more freaked out than I am, and when we do talk about my uncertainty, she usually cries and is deathly scared I'm going to leave her when she has this baby, and that I should do it now if I'm going to do it. She's seven months pregnant, so an abortion is out of the picture, and she says she'd feel like her whole life if she gave it up for adoption, so it does seem like she's keeping it. Personally, the best result I can see from this situation is she gives the child up for adoption, and we can live our lives uninterrupted.. but I don't see that happening, and I don't want to try and encourage her to do something she isn't comfortable with.
She has brought up the idea of me signing the birth certificate and adopting this child as my own, but I'm not entirely sure of doing this. If it were my child, I would have no problem assuming responsibility, but it's not my child. She doesn't have any support for her where she lives now, and she's stated the only reason she's living where she is now is because of me. So if I don't stick around, I'm likely to never see her again.
I love this woman to death, and would abhor being without her, but this pregnant situation makes me wonder how things are going to turn out. I fear that I might have to let her go, even though the idea of doing that just kills me inside. Sorry for the length of this question, but I feel like I have to explain everything to get a fair answer, and I haven't talked about this aside from her with anyone in real life. Just looking for some input. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I meet with her for the first time in three months the next day, and spend virtually every moment of our time together for the next two months (till now). I've fallen in love with this woman, and I really love being around her and sharing everything with her. The problem comes with that I'm afraid of this situation. She is pregnant with another man's child, and I don't know what to do. We want to move in together and everything, but I fear that I would be unintentionally assuming the father's role, even though I don't want to be a father. I'm not ready, but I really do love this woman and don't want anything to make me let go of her.
She seems even more freaked out than I am, and when we do talk about my uncertainty, she usually cries and is deathly scared I'm going to leave her when she has this baby, and that I should do it now if I'm going to do it. She's seven months pregnant, so an abortion is out of the picture, and she says she'd feel like her whole life if she gave it up for adoption, so it does seem like she's keeping it. Personally, the best result I can see from this situation is she gives the child up for adoption, and we can live our lives uninterrupted.. but I don't see that happening, and I don't want to try and encourage her to do something she isn't comfortable with.
She has brought up the idea of me signing the birth certificate and adopting this child as my own, but I'm not entirely sure of doing this. If it were my child, I would have no problem assuming responsibility, but it's not my child. She doesn't have any support for her where she lives now, and she's stated the only reason she's living where she is now is because of me. So if I don't stick around, I'm likely to never see her again.
I love this woman to death, and would abhor being without her, but this pregnant situation makes me wonder how things are going to turn out. I fear that I might have to let her go, even though the idea of doing that just kills me inside. Sorry for the length of this question, but I feel like I have to explain everything to get a fair answer, and I haven't talked about this aside from her with anyone in real life. Just looking for some input. Thanks for taking the time to read this.