I had a relationship with a man who was legally separated from his wife. A result of this was a child. That child is now 2 years old and the man went back to his wife a week before I had the baby. He has never seen the child. He has given up all legal rights to the child and all of our court stuff is now complete, with child support being paid every month to me. I have recently found out that his wife has never been told about the child him and I have together. They have 3 children of their own, which means my son has half siblings. The address listed with the courts for the father is different than that of his wife. My question is this, is there anything, legally that could result from me dropping off a letter to her telling her about my child with the hopes of the children getting to know each other?

I had a relationship with a man who was legally seperated from his wife. A result of this was a child. That child is now 2 years old and the man went back to his wife a week before I had the baby. He has never seen the child. He has given up all legal rights to the child and all of our court stuff is now complete, with child support being paid every month to me. I have recently found out that his wife has never been told about the child him and I have together. They have 3 children of their own, which means my son has half siblings. The address listed with the courts for the father is different than that of his wife. My question is this, is there anything, legally that could result from me dropping off a letter to her telling her about my child with the hopes of the children getting to know each other?

Exactly HOW did he give up all legal rights to the child if he has to pay child support... you can't have both... once a court takes away your parental rights... you don't have to pay child support. If he is paying Child support... he is still a parent and has all the legal rights of a parent. Including trying to get custody of the child.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html

THAT is a bigger issue than if his wife knows or not.

I had a relationship with a man who was legally seperated from his wife. A result of this was a child. That child is now 2 years old and the man went back to his wife a week before I had the baby. He has never seen the child. He has given up all legal rights to the child and all of our court stuff is now complete, with child support being paid every month to me. I have recently found out that his wife has never been told about the child him and I have together. They have 3 children of their own, which means my son has half siblings. The address listed with the courts for the father is different than that of his wife. My question is this, is there anything, legally that could result from me dropping off a letter to her telling her about my child with the hopes of the children getting to know each other?


What you have posted is not possible - he did not give up all legal rights when you had your "court stuff" because he legally cannot do that. If he pays support he has rights. Maybe he doesn't exercise them or didn't request them but he's the legal father.

Let me see if I understand this. Your child with this man is now 2. He has 3 children with his wife. Now you've found out that his wife doesn't know about your relationship and your child with him and it's suddenly important to you for your child to have contact with his/her siblings?

Or did he walk out and this is a great opportunity to get him back - or get back at him?

I'd be okay with this under different circumstances but the "getting to know the siblings" wasn't important to you until you found out your child is not known to his wife.

There is nothing to keep you from contacting her. There is also nothing to keep her from charging you harassment OR from suggesting to her husband that he should see his child. He would then request custody and/or visitation and the Court would decide.

Your choice.

Exactly HOW did he give up all legal rights to the child if he has to pay child support....you can't have both....once a court takes away your parental rights...you don't have to pay child support. If he is paying Child support...he is still a parent and has all the legal rights of a parent. Including trying to get custody of the child.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html

THAT is a bigger issue than if his wife knows or not.

I apoligize, I worded that incorrectly. I have sole legal and physical custody of my son and the father wanted no parenting time. If he wishes to change that in the future, he has every right to try. But thank you for responding and attaching that link, greatly appreciated! :)

... My question is this, is there anything, legally that could result from me dropping off a letter to her telling her about my child with the hopes of the children getting to know each other?

Can you be sued for such a letter? No, unless there is a nondisclosure clause in your "court stuff" (which is possible, I suppose, but not at all likely).

But when you deliver the letter, expect the (you know what) to hit the fan.

I apoligize, I worded that incorrectly. I have sole legal and physical custody of my son and the father wanted no parenting time. If he wishes to change that in the future, he has every right to try. But thank you for responding and attaching that link, greatly appreciated! :)

Thanks for clarifying... you would not imagine the number of people that actually believe they can sign a paper and be rid of their rights or take away the rights of the other parent that post on this site every day. I could not assume otherwise

What you have posted is not possible - he did not give up all legal rights when you had your "court stuff" because he legally cannot do that. If he pays support he has rights. Maybe he doesn't exercise them or didn't request them but he's the legal father.

Let me see if I understand this. Your child with this man is now 2. He has 3 children with his wife. Now you've found out that his wife doesn't know about your relationship and your child with him and it's suddenly important to you for your child to have contact with his/her siblings?

Or did he walk out and this is a great opportunity to get him back - or get back at him?

I'd be okay with this under different circumstances but the "getting to know the siblings" wasn't important to you until you found out your child is not known to his wife.

There is nothing to keep you from contacting her. There is also nothing to keep her from charging you harrassment OR from suggesting to her husband that he should see his child. He would then request custody and/or visitation and the Court would decide.

Your choice.

It's always been important to me that the children know each other. It has taken these 2 years for everything to be finalized with the courts. We both had lawyers through the proceedings and were advised not to speak outside of our attorneys. That is why I never pursued the route of contacting the wife until now. I also have no desire to "get him back" or "get back at him" he made the decisions he made for himself and I'm more than okay with that. His wife did know about our relationship, just not the child.

Thanks for clarifying.....you would not imagine the number of people that actually believe they can sign a paper and be rid of their rights or take away the rights of the other parent that post on this site every day. I could not assume otherwise

Yes. But the thing to understand is this: one can agree to the entry of an order that he/she has no right to custody or visitation. But that would not mean that such a person no longer had the obligation to pay child support, or that the child would not still be able to inherit from that person.

Can you be sued for such a letter? No, unless there is a nondisclosure clause in your "court stuff" (which is possible, I suppose, but not at all likely).

But when you deliver the letter, expect the (you know what) to hit the fan.


I think that's the reason for the letter - the father is reconciled with his wife and has been for two years. I doubt they had three children in two years. There was no attempt to introduce the sibings until now, when the knowledge that the wife is oblivious became known.

Got to wonder.

Can you be sued for such a letter? No, unless there is a nondisclosure clause in your "court stuff" (which is possible, I suppose, but not at all likely).

But when you deliver the letter, expect the (you know what) to hit the fan.

Thank you very much for responding to my actual question. There was not a non-disclosure clause.

I think that's the reason for the letter - the father is reconciled with his wife and has been for two years. I doubt they had three children in two years. There was no attempt to introduce the sibings until now, when the knowledge that the wife is oblivious became known.

Got to wonder.

Wonder all you'd like. Not everyone in this world is negative or has alterer motives. There is a lot to the situation that I will not disclose to you or anyone else in a public forum. I didn't post this to be judged or criticized for my actions by you. I just wanted to ask a legal question, which has now been answered.

Wonder all you'd like. Not everyone in this world is negative or has alterer motives. There is a lot to the situation that I will not disclose to you or anyone else in a public forum. I didn't post this to be judged or criticized for my actions by you. I just wanted to ask a legal question, which has now been answered.


What does "alterer" mean?

And, yes, you could be arrested for stalking and/or harassment.

Why didn't you ask the Court to issue an order about the siblings contacting each other? I still don't understand why you posted that the wife doesn't know about your child, why that is important in this telling of the story, leaving out "a lot" which you do not wish to disclose.

I'm an investigator. I've seen this scenario before from both sides.