I'm 16 years old (17 next month) and my boyfriend is 19. We've been together for 8 months now, and started going out last year when he was in Year 12 and I in Year 11. He's now finished school and is in his first year of university, while I'm completing Year 12 this year.

Our relationship has been a little bit tumultuous, because of various what I think would be normal long-term relationship problems, however they've always been ironed out and in all honesty it's usually been me who starts them- I'm really sensitive and have extremely low confidence and self esteem issues, as well as an incredibly unsupportive family so it doesn't really help anything. He's always been there for me through thick and thin and has always been so patient and forgiving of me- he really has put up with a lot and I love him for it.

However recently, after talking to other friends in uni and hearing about how exciting their lives are, I feel like I am restricting my boyfriend's potential, as silly as that sounds. I feel like uni is a time for him to be drinking, partying, meeting new people, having flings with people he'll never meet again, whatever, and I feel like him being stuck with me is stopping him. He maintains that he loves me and doesn't want anyone else, but that he does want those things just "not right now," but I can't help but thinking I'm tying him down. I feel like I should let him go to explore what his life could be and then decide what he wants (whether it be that life or me), even though it would kill me to do so, because I feel like I'm being selfish in having him to myself and stopping him from "living."

Does anyone have any ideas? Am I being ridiculous or is there some validity in what I'm saying?

Why are you being so eager to let him go if he does not want to go. Also I don't understand him saying he does not want those things now, but maybe in the future?
So you want to let your boyfriend go so he can party and have flings. Seriously?
Is there another reason you want to let him go? Maybe you just want to let him go Period! Then do so.

Is this what you want to do, when you go to college, drink, get drunk, party and have sex with people you hardly know?

That is not what college is for 90 percent of the people, for most it is long hours study, spending 1/2 the night at the libraray or a lab doing study and work. If you have a girl or boy friend you may take them to a party

I think you have no idea what a real relationship is and perhaps are too immature for a adult type relationship right now. If this is what you really believe.

Threads merged, please do not ask the same question in new threads

You don't hold him back, if he wants to do those things he will. If he is choosing you over that, or even sharing you with that then you should be happy he is wanting to continue the relationship. Now if you feel uncomfortable that he will be around so much temptation and do not trust him enough to let him do what he wants, then yes break up. Or if you are going to want to do the same things you just mentioned next year, then you might as well break up now. But if you are good with the relationship, want it to work, and don't mind the distance (if any)... then stay together and work on the relationship.

Talk it over with him, and get his feelings about it since you are either afraid of what he could be doing, or want to do the same thing, party, date, and enjoy your HS years.

An honest conversation, or stop worrying about holding him back. If he wanted all those things he would have told you, or do it in a respectful way. If you want those things for yourself, you should tell him.