My son and his first wife lived with us had a baby divorced moved out My son moved back in, a few years later he married a girl from Thailand and had her shipped here(for lack of a better term). They have lived in our home for a few years. I was led to believe it was temporary. However that is the farthest thing from their minds. I'm not being ungrateful here.. I enjoy their company we enjoy family time (most of the time) especially when our grandson is here. Problem is My daughterinlaw Wants to take over my home. She has taken down all my decorating in my living room and put up all her own things including draperies,pictures etc... Now my husband and I are remodeling the kichen,I have waited a long time for this. And she has gone out and purchased all these things for MY kitchen.She does not ask she just goes and does what she wants.It has taken all my joy away in the remodeling. The other problem is my husband thinks it's great she's doing all these things,he claims she is taking some of the burden from me. She has helped in the remodeling herself,I want her to feel a part of the project not take over my house.I can't help but feel a deep sadness that my family wants me out of my own home.I feel angry when I come home from working over 49 hours a week,she has a small part time job.I do most of the cooking,cleaning,The kids do not pay rent,but pay the utilitis,cable gas+electric and we take turns buying groceries.I strongly feel it's time for them to move to a place of their own,so she can find joy in decorating their home. My husband (who also works part time) wants them to stay for financial reasons.There has been many times I don't want to come home after work,knowing my home is not really mine,I'm uncomfortable and sad I don't have my husbands understanding or support.I'm almost ready to leave.There are many more issues. My husband took her to the mattress store to buy our mattress.. I was livid,he takes her to the home depot to pick out things for MY home.I;ve heard her call me names when she thinks I'm not there.I had to double up my anxiety medication before coming home.I feel Im only wanted for the money I bring in,the chores I do,sex... etc. Getting the bags packed is that the right thing to do, I catch my husband of porn sites,he denies of course,I think My daughter in law builds his ego.cause he's obese,she's not very attractive asian girl. Something's not right.My son is emotionally disabled and detached from the real world and people... no help there.. Any comments from any peeps out there?/

In this time have you sat down and talked to your son and or both of them about this? Maybe they are both clueless about how you feel about this.

So you sit them down, tell her to get her >>> out of your kitchen and that it is YOUR home, not theirs, They are sharing it, and if they continue it is time for them to move out.

You needed to stop it when it first happened, are you not at home every day, just tell her to stop, it is being done, since you allow it to happen