Do I stay or do I go? I am caught in a pickle! Okay how do I start this thing off? Oh I know I'll just start from the beginning...

In 2009 I was dating this guy named Randy, we were like a normal couple in love & happy. Then we found out we were expecting a new life entering ours I was 16 & Randy was 17 (We had sex with both of our consents) In September we lost our little girl on September 14, 2009. It tore us apart but also but us closer.

We had our ups & our downs in the year of 2010, October of 2010 we called our relationship an ended path.

I started another relationship with this guy Chuck, but I couldn't stop talking to Randy at all. I still loved him dearly & tried to move on for 7 months, but I couldn't so Chuck broke up with me after 7 months of dating, and Randy and I wanted to hook back up, but Randy had found this other girl named Sam so I took it like a woman and waited for him just like he waited for me.

He finally came to his senses and came back to me after a month of dating this Sam girl. We hit it off like we never broke up. Then, we went backwards because Randy and I were falling apart because of the past pain our loss, and breaking up, so I moved on again, and Randy stayed single.

Now I am with this Peter guy, thought he was the greatest, fell over heels, stayed in a relationship with him for a whole year. Went homeless together helped each other, been through a lot together, but yet again, I couldn’t stop talking to Randy at all and I still loved him more than anyone else that I been with. I never loved Peter he has lied to me big time.

Any way I still love Randy, and Peter has made me hate him with a passion now there is an issue...

Randy is in jail for aggravated sexual assault on a 13 year old girl. Randy is 19.
But he swears he didn't do it still sticking out with the same story!

I love him dearly and want to believe he is innocent, but he has a high bail he has a court hearing on May 9th. I’m attending it how do I know he is innocent or guilty I love him and want to marry him. He is the love of my life.
HELP!
I know I will have negative & Positive responses please help me...
If you ever had a loved one locked away you know my pain, How do I stay strong with the whole prison time & him away...
My favorite quote:

What if the love of your life was committed for a lifetime?
Their promises
Their Sacrifices
Their Struggles
And the love it takes
To keep a family together

Most of this is immaterial. You are in love with someone who is facing a trial for assault on a 13-year old girl, a minor. Of course, it appears you were also a minor when he started having sex with you. Or am I reading this wrong?

You don't know if he's innocent or guilty. You listen to the testimony and make a decision.

You "losted" your little girl? What does that mean? Someone else took custody?

I think you are being totally unrealistic.

I also notice you think you are pregnant again. Who is the father?

Well, it was my & his choice I was 16 & he was 17 I guess your against this which is fine We aren't against this, but in some areas of the world it is illegal. Age of sexual consent varies in the world. So, it's quite possible that he legally molested you as well as this 13 year old.


I in boxed you

All questions and answers must stay on the public boards.

Well, how do I deal with this I am so in love with this man in jail & I am trying to stay strong.


Edited/T

I am going to move this to the relationship board as it is more about your relationship with him rather than actual criminal law.

At any rate - join a support group for women whose boyfriends/husbands are in prison.

Also look into counselling.


Edited/T

Here's my understanding. Maybe it will explain your attitude. In 2009 you were pregnant at 16 and the father, boyfriend #1, was 17. Whether you were having sex before you were “legal” is unclear. You “lost” your little girl in September of that year, a loss that “tore you apart” but “made you closer.” (I found out later that this was a miscarriage, a "fact" you didn't want posted on a public board - ?) You ended that relationship in October 2010. You started another relationship (boyfriend #2) but kept in contact with #1 so #2 ended your relationship.

You wanted to hook up with #1 but he had another girlfriend. He broke up with her and resumed his relationship with you.

Then you broke up with #1 (again) and moved on to #3, but you never really loved and, in fact, hate #3.

Now, two years later, #1, the “love of your life,” is in jail with “high bail” for sexual assault on a 13-year old. You thought/think you are pregnant. I don't know if #1 or #3 is the father.

Your question is/was how to know whether to believe #1. My answer was to go to the trial, listen to the evidence and then decide.

Your other question is how you stay strong while he's “away.” You'll also have to stay strong when he gets out because he'll be a convicted sex offender on the Sex Offender's List in your State.

Your quote is very idealistic and impractical. What promises, sacrifices and struggles by #1 are you dealing with? He may or may not have had sex with a 13-year old, an underage child. That's a conscious decision, not a bad hand life dealt to him.

So - go to Court, listen to the testimony, decide whether he's guilty. If he is, decide whether you want to “stay” with him during his incarceration. While he's incarcerated decide whether you want to live with a convicted sex offender and all that comes with that.

I also told you not to contact me off the Board - if you can't say it publicly, don't say it at all.

You are involved with a potential pedophile? I would recommend to see how his court goes, then make a wise decision based on this. I was wondering how you "lost" your little girl, did you perform an abortion... because if you did then it is very likely that you need professional help to help you mourn, well actually, even if it was a miscarriage, you might want to get professional help since it seems to still be in your mind. I don't really think this relationship is healthy, I would recommend to cut completely contact with him, the love will die after a while. As far as you being pregnant again as I saw in a post above, if you are in fact pregnant, worry about your little kid, and not a father who has not respect for anything, including you.

It was a miscarriage

Edited/T

As a practical matter, I strongly suggest you deal with your own life, and situation, and let him deal with his own. You two have had enough troubles, and problems together and need to deal with your lives without each other, or you both will be dragged down, and that helps no one.

Now you think you are pregnant again?? By the butthead guy this time? I think you have enough to worry about without dragging the true love in your life into this. That's how you get through this whether he goes to jail or not, by focusing on getting your own messy life straight.