I signed a letter when my ex-wife and I were separating, stating that I would leave the house to here, is that a legal document for me to lose all rights to the home?

i signed a letter when my ex-wife and i were seperating, stating that i would leave the house to here, is that a legal document for me to lose all rights to the home?

No... what is legal is what is arrived at during the divorce decree and separation of assets.

It can be used by your wife to show intent as part of the divorce decree. But it probably is not irrevocable.

i signed a letter when my ex-wife and i were seperating, ...

Separation and divorce are two different things. You did divorce, I assume?


... stating that i would leave the house to here, ...

Again, the law requires precision in the use of language. You agreed to give her the house in the will? That is what "i would leave the house to her " suggests.

I am guessing that instead, you signed a document agreeing that she would get the house as part of the divorce settlement. She may well be able to force you to be a man of your word.

It may hurt you, but it is not final. You will need to fight this and not sign anything else without your attorney review it,

I'm a homeowner and not a realtor, but I would consider the following questions. Is the house paid for free and clear with no mortgage payments? If not how much equity is in the home if it was sold so that you and she could divide the money? Do you legally hold the deed or the deed of trust and is she a joint co-owner? Do you have certified copies of these documents? Who is responsible for paying the property taxes? Who is responsible for paying the homeowners insurance? Who is responsible for the repairs and upkeep? Assuming the house is paid for and the county treasurer or county recorder in your area has original legal documents stating you are the legal owner or joint owner... and if you have not signed and had recorded a quitclaim document surrendering the house to her exclusively then according to how you answered all the above, you might be able to retract the letter promise because you are still responsible and accountable for the home. If the letter promise was notarized, it might give her some power leverage in holding you to the promise. You should try and reach an agreeable solution, something that works favorably for the both of you, even if you have to compromise. Good luck.

...If the letter promise was notarized, it might give her some power leverage in holding you to the promise. ...

It would be stronger proof that OP did in fact sign it, is all. Notarization still doesn't (in all likelihood) make it a deed, or even a recordable instrument.

FirstChair, you are new here but, you need to understand that responses in the law forums need to conform to established law. Your answer here doesn't conform to ANY law.

The fact is that a letter of intent whether notarized or not, can be used in the divorce settlement. However, until a judge ratifies the settlement, the OP can change his mind. A judge may try to hold him to the agreement depending on circumstances.

The status of the house in terms of mortgage, taxes, etc. is immaterial The issue is dissolution of marital property.

As I read it, he signed the letter when they were only separating as it had not reached the divorce settlement level so therefore since it was prior to the actual divorce what is his recourse, if any? The home/house must not have been resolved in the divorce settlement phase because it is still being questioned. I'm only making suggestions and asking questions that should have perhaps been asked before the decision to sign the letter in the first place.

Regarding having a letter or statement notarized in the presents of a third party, might (I said 'might' in this post and the original post) present more of power leverage since his signature was witnessed and no forgery can be claimed. I received two different contradictory replies to the power of a notarized statement/letter, so I assume even the experts can disagree. As I see it, a signature is a symbol of a person's word; their integrity and honor. However, I think renegotiation should be possible in any case.

To reiterate, have any of you experts or professionals ever in these forums or in a court of law, have you ever made a mistake or misquoted? Why do lawyers/attorneys argue points and why does the judge say 'sustained' or “over-ruled” if any of you are always right?

If a person who does not have a law degree yet has had experience in dealing personally with legal issues, who does know something about the laws of the land and arbitration, who does have common sense, who is read and has intelligence, who has worked with others in analyzing legal issues, cannot have a voice here then I guess I'm done in this forum…for good or for now. I assume the decision to banned a lay person is in litigation. It's been a blast. Good grief.

“Don't throw the baby out with the dirty water”

If you really hate you wife and she does get the house permenantely... then before you leave, run up the bills since she is paying them now and not you

Tim, as Scott mentioned to someone else earlier in this thread, "you are new here but, you need to understand that responses in the law forums need to conform to established law. Your answer here doesn't conform to ANY law."

I didn't read the other comments, I read what he wrote, and said what I would have done if I were him

i didnt read the other comments, i read what he wrote, and said what i would have done if i were him

In that case, what you would have done, would have been mean, spiteful, illegal and probably get you in more trouble. We try to give good and accurate advice here. Advice like you gave here is not welcome and does not meet our standards.

As I read it, he signed the letter when they were only separating as it had not reached the divorce settlement level so therefore since it was prior to the actual divorce what is his recourse, if any? The home/house must not have been resolved in the divorce settlement phase because it is still being questioned. I’m only making suggestions and asking questions that should have perhaps been asked before the decision to sign the letter in the first place.

Regarding having a letter or statement notarized in the presents of a third party, might (I said ‘might’ in this post and the original post) present more of power leverage since his signature was witnessed and no forgery can be claimed. I received two different contradictory replies to the power of a notarized statement/letter, so I assume even the experts can disagree. As I see it, a signature is a symbol of a person’s word; their integrity and honor. However, I think renegotiation should be possible in any case.



A divorce settlement, is primarily a negotiation. It is possible (as I indicated) to rescind an offer, but it would be up to the judge whether to allow it or not. The judge controls the proceedings here.

The problem here is the suggestions you are making and the questions you are asking are immaterial to the situation and do not conform to statutory law. If you don't know what the law is in a situation, then research it or don't answer. As I said, the technical forums like Law, have a higher standard of accuracy. No one is denying you the right to answer. I was only informing you that we hold answers here to a higher standard. And simply asking you to be more careful.

And yes, people here do make mistakes. But when someone points out that we make a mistake, we apologize and move on. We don't argue the point, unless we can prove it wasn't a mistake.

The ONLY advantage to notarization is that the notary is certifying they have verified the identity of the signator. But there was no indication that the OP was denying he signed the letter. So the issue was immaterial.

A divorce settlement, is primarily a negotiation. It is possible (as I indicated) to rescind an offer, but it would be up to the judge whether to allow it or not. The judge controls the proceedings here.

The problem here is the suggestions you are making and the questions you are asking are immaterial to the situation and do not conform to statutory law. If you don't know what the law is in a situation, then research it or don't answer. As I said, the technical forums like Law, have a higher standard of accuracy. No one is denying you the right to answer. I was only informing you that we hold answers here to a higher standard. And simply asking you to be more careful.

And yes, people here do make mistakes. But when someone points out that we make a mistake, we apologize and move on. We don't argue the point, unless we can prove it wasn't a mistake.

The ONLY advantage to notarization is that the notary is certifying they have verified the identity of the signator. But there was no indication that the OP was denying he signed the letter. So the issue was immaterial.

I stand corrected and acknowledge ScottGem for his efforts to get me on track with replies. I appreciate the teaching moments of others as well.

It was wrong of me to NOT respond with exactness of the law in this forum and to respond only to what is asked. My bad.

I know a person can lead and follow at the same time…I’m still learning.

i didnt read the other comments, i read what he wrote, and said what i would have done if i were him


Objection number one - why are juveniles allowed to post on the adult boards. We already know there's a social studies teacher question so we're talking middle school or (I doubt it) senior high.

Objection number two - why does this answer stand?

Comment number one - sometimes it's better to remain silent and be thought to be "uneducated" than to open your mouth and remove all doubts.

Objection number one - why are juveniles allowed to post on the adult boards. We already know there's a social studies teacher question so we're talking middle school or (I doubt it) senior high.

Because even juveniles can sometimes make a contribution. The #1 rated legal expert on the old AskMe.com site, turned out to be a 15 yr old. Marcus was actually very accurate in his advice earning a lot of praise.


Objection number two - why does this answer stand?

Because even a bad answer can be valuable especially when its countered by better advice.


Comment number one - sometimes it's better to remain silent and be thought to be "uneducated" than to open your mouth and remove all doubts.

Sage advice that Tim should take to heart.