I've been dating this girl off and on now for 7 months. We've spend all most every day together since we met. She tell me that at time we spend too much time together and that she feel like I'm clingy. So I try and back off and she start calling me. Bad thing is we live right next door to each other so it makes it so easy to see each every day all day. She has been threw a lot before I met her bad break up and just had a baby by a guy that she wasn't really with and when she was pregnant disappeared and still only met he baby once.

So we met as friends and I started to really like her and so did she. But she would start bring up negative stuff about the relationship instead of looking at the positive and there was no negative stuff just thing she think might happen because of her past. She think she started to really like me then she pulled back and told me she's not really for a commitment that she thought she was. Then she goes on telling me she feels chemistry. But I know she does because how she is with me. I think she just scared. She keep wanting to keep me in the friend stage because she said its saFe there.

But I keep pushing for more and we start dating again its seems like were doing great and she tells me she starting to fall hard for me and the feeling that she though was missing is finally there but then she follows it with but I don't like it. She tells me another day that she starting to really miss me but she doesn't like it. A week goes by and then all of a sudden she tell me she doesn't want to see me and that she need some time to herself and that we need to just go back to being friends were its safe that she makes a very good friend were feeling don't have to get involved.

I told her that I loved her and that I just can't go back and I know she really like me but why won't she admit to it now? She tells me that she never did she was just saying it to say it. That she never got attached to me and that if she can't tell me she loves me back after 7 months something wrong. But I think she just so cared of me hurting her like the rest that she won't let me in and every time she starts she try to push me away. I keep trying to tell her I'm not like that. Now she's telling me it just me that she doesn't want me.

Can you spend everyday with someone and be intimate with them normally and not get attached? I don't know what to do. Do I wait till she know what she wants?

I've been dating this girl off and on now for 7 months. We've spend all most every day together since we met. She tell me that at time we spend to much time together and that she feel like im clingy. So I try and back off and she start calling me. Bad thing is we live right next door to each other so it makes it so easy to see each every day all day. She has been threw alot before I met her bad break up and just had a baby by a guy that she wasnt really with and when she was preganant disappeard and still only met he baby once. So we met as friends and i started to really like her and so did she. But she would start bring up negitive stuff about the relationship instead of looking at the positive and there was no negitive stuff just thing she think might happen bcause of her past. She think dhe started to really like me then she pulled back and told me she's not really for a commitment that she thought she was. Then she goes on telling me she feels chemisty. But I know she does because how she is with me. I think she just scared. She keep wanting to keep me in the friend stage because she said its save there. But I keep pushing for more and we start dating again its seems like were doing great and she tells me she starting to fall hard for me and the felling that she though was missing is finaly there but then she follows it with but I don't like it. She tells me another day that she starting to really miss me but she doesn't like it. A week goes by and then all of a sudden she tell me she doesnt want to see me and that she need some time to herself and that we need to just go back to being friends were its safe that she makes a very good friend were feeling dont have to get involved. I told her that I loved her and that I just can't go back and I Know she really like me but why wont she amit to it know. She tells me that she never did she was just saying it to say it. That she never got attached to me and that if she can't tell me she loves me back after 7 months something wrong. But I think she just so cared of me hurting her like the rest that she won't let me in and every time she starts she try to push me away. I keep trying to tell her I'm not like that. Now she's telling me it just me that she doesn't want me. Can you spend everyday with someone and be intimite with then normaly and not get attached? I don't know what to do. Do I wait till she know what she wants?


She very well may be scared of getting hurt again, she may just be afraid to be on her own, but doesn't really want to be in a serious relationship. With all the going back and forth, it appears that she may not really know, so there is no way that you will. All you or anyone else can do is guess... and that won't help you.

Certainly you can get attached to someone after spending so much time together, but you also can come to realize that it is not the relationship that you want, and perhaps that is what she has realized. Take her at her word.

Back off on the relationship and protect your heart. Be very careful about getting drawn back into a more than friends relationship with her anytime soon as you will likely just end up back where you are once again.

Spend more time with other friends and family. Get involved at work or other activities. Even date other women that you may have an interest in.

Here's an idea, back off and do as she says, give her space to see if she misses you and is sure if she wants you. Just go about your own business and do your thing and see if she gets her head on straight and has enough feelings to tell you. I mean because you say you are a good guy, doesn't mean she is ready for one, or believes you are one and such faith, and confidence is not usually built in just 7 months after she has had such a traumatic past.

She has said as much, so respect it, and if you cannot just be friends for a while, leave her alone because THAT will hurt her also. Geez guy can't you just stop pressuring for more and just be friends?? I mean what kind of guy presses a girl for what he wants knowing she just ain't ready?? A selfish one.