I am in love with my best friends girl ever since they started dateing each other. Since four years I am waiteing for a miracle to happen, which is a distant dream . She is just so perfect... now I am 30 yrs and still single and the reason is I didn't wanted to loose myself in the matters of the heart . I am very ambitious and I kept ignoreing the fact that I am in love with her . She is like a mirrior I see myself in :) I am struggleing to settle down financially. Her thoughts keep bothering me and I want to get out or get in this situation called love. I dated a few girls before but she is the 0ne as I see . I even spoke about my feelings to her and she said no . My best friend and I are not friends any more because of this. She didn't even give me a chance to explain . I hope one day I make up to her . But at the same time I deffnietly have to focus on my career . We both are perfectly compatiabe . And the bottom line is I need her by hook or by crook.. stuck with my ID and super ego


Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . This is clear and this is the reason I see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an achievement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. Life is strictly business for me and this is a game but I really care for her . I have been waiteing for this personality which she posses and she fits .

There are fine line between being obsessed and being practical.

Staying in love ( and it can't be real love since you are not in a relationship with her) but in general you should be happy for your friend and try and move on.

This sounds like the voice of a very selfish person. You say you're ego driven and from what you've written I can't disagree. Why not feel pride for your friend and respect for his boundries, as well of the woman that you claim to love? Do you really expect this course of action to work?

Its time for you to move on.
Both parties have said that you have no chance with this woman.

Accept their loyalty & love for each other.
If you have to, move away from them.
But DON'T substitute someone else for this woman. It won't be fair on either of you. Each woman is her own person and shouldn't be fitted into someone else's box.

Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . This is clear and this is the reason I see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an achievement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. Life is strictly business for me and this is a game but I really care for her .

Have fun with that.

<<Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . This is clear and this is the reason I see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an achievement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. Life is strictly business for me and this is a game but I really care for her .>>

Gosh I cannot believe you wrote that... TWICE!!
Do you call that LOVE?

Have fun with that.
I don't leave a task until it is totally taken care of... I am not a flake and of course I am having with it already .

Thanks guys... but I still don't understand... if this isn't love then what is love actually ? This is a confuseing concept

<<what is love ?>>

Well I'm still trying to figure that one out... but definitely big bank accounts and games and egos do not come into it.

I sort of imagine you as looking like the evil robot from the movie ROBOTS, mark. Is that accurate? Do you really mean these things that you say?

i am in love with my best friends girl ever since they started dateing eachother. since four years i am waiteing for a miracle to happen, which is a distant dream . she is just so perfect ... now i am 20 yrs and stil single and the reason is i didnt wanted to loose my self in the matters of the heart . i am very ambitious and i kept ignoreing the fact that i am in love with her . she is like a mirrior i see myself in :) i am struggleing to settle down financially. her thoughts keep bothering me and i wanna get out or get in this situation called love. i dated a few girls before but she is the 0ne as i see . i even spoke about my feelings to her and she said no . my best friend and i are not friends any more coz of this. she didnt even give me a chance to explain . i hope one day i make up to her . but at the same time i deffnietly have to focus on my career . we both are perfectly compatiabe . and the bottom line is i need her by hook or by crook ..stuck with my ID and super ego


Big bank accounts always are acceptable than people with big hearts ... this is what parents here look in a potential partner for their childern . this is clear and this is the reason i see a possibility of acheiveing her . Yes an acheivement ! Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. life is strictly business for me and this is a game but i really care for her . i have been waiteing for this personality which she posses and she fits .
Hi markdiaz,

You have been brought up with a whole different perception on the right way to capture your woman. Yes, big bank accounts are nice but they don't mean a thing if the girl isn't attracted to you physically or mentally and no amount of money will reel her in. She's told you NO! You and her boyfriend (your ex mate) have already fallen out because of this and don't talk any more. You ask what REAL love is... let me define it for you as I see it okay?

If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.

He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.

Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!

Erm... I don't see anything there about money being the pull do you? You can't be in love with her if that love isn't reciprocated. You are infatuated with her, obsessed even and that obsession is turning into a game... you WILL get her, but you know something.. You won't! Trust me on this one, all you WILL do is make a total fool out of yourself. Have some respect for yourself Markdiaz and give up the chase, you really are fighting a losing battle here. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!!

Eve

I can't just let her go away as she deserves to be with me more than him . Its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatible with . Bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control.. you call that love ? And even if they do love each other one of them is inferior no matter what... and they live with this flaw . If you are not financially setteled yet and you found a girl who loves ou for who you are which is an illusion... or you got married and have a super career but still either she leads or you... loosers get successful women because they choose them as their puppet .

You have already overstepped the boundaries, and lost a friend as a result, not healthy. You continue to pursue and she shot you down, but you persist, this also is not healthy. You think love is a game to be played, not healthy. You think you can buy love, oh so unhealthy. Forget about finding love and get a healthier outlook on life, as you have got life and BS all mixed up.

<<<i don't leave a task until it is totally taken care of>>>
LBP ha could not rate you... more like someone from starwars perhaps ;-)


<<its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatible with >>

Maybe that's the problem Mark, you are looking for yourself, some of the best relationships I know have totally different personalities, opposites atttract. Finding someone to compliment you instead.

<<bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control>>

Nooo way!! I like a strong guy! There should be a balance of the power and control

I don't know what kind of women you are meeting?!

Hi markdiaz,

You have been brought up with a whole different perception on the right way to capture your woman. Yes, big bank accounts are nice but they don't mean a thing if the girl isn't attracted to you physically or mentally and no amount of money will reel her in. She's told you NO! You and her boyfriend (your ex mate) have already fallen out because of this and don't talk any more. You ask what REAL love is... let me define it for you as I see it okay?

If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.

He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.

Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!

Erm.... I don't see anything there about money being the pull do you? You can't be in love with her if that love isn't reciprocated. You are infatuated with her, obsessed even and that obsession is turning into a game... you WILL get her, but you know something...? You won't! Trust me on this one, all you WILL do is make a total fool out of yourself. Have some respect for yourself Markdiaz and give up the chase, you really are fighting a losing battle here. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!!!

Eve



A different perception ? And by the way all that you have metioned above about feelings... understanding.. connection... and all those nice words . Why do people want to waste their time with all the communication don't they have their career to take care of ? And congragulations you have found the perfect mate as your words say you really found the puppet of your dreams .

i can't just let her go away as she deserves to be with me more than him . its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatiable with . bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control ..you call that love ? and even if they do love each other one of them is inferior no matter what ... and they live with this flaw . if you are not financially setteled yet and you found a girl who loves ou for who you are which is an illusion ... or you got married and have a super career but still either she leads or you .... loosers get successfull women coz they choose them as their puppet .

A perfect example of the difference between life and BS. If any post deserves a red square this one does.

<<<i dont leave a task until it is totally taken care of>>>
LBP ha could not rate you...more like someone from starwars perhaps ;-)


<<its hard to find potential partners whoes personalities are perfectly compatiable with >>

maybe thats the problem Mark, u are looking for yourself, some of the best relationships i know have totally different personalities, opposites atttract. Finding someone to compliment you instead.

<<bottom line is women love men who are inferior to them so they can take control>>

nooo way!!! i like a strong guy! there should be a balance of the power and control

i dont know what kind of women you are meeting???!!!!!!!
A possibiltiy your personality triat is optimistic , social , jovile , carfree . So that's the reason you want someone strong to protect you... as they say opposites attract...

Markdiaz... you say "why do people wanna waste their time with all the communication dont they have their career to take care of ? and congragulations you have found the perfect mate as your words say you really found the puppet of your dreams ."

I don't see the word "puppet" mentioned in there once, does anyone else? You ask why do people want to wast time by communicating?" Duhhhhhh are you on the same planet here? Relationships NEED to be worked at! Sounds to me that your career is your God, so go on, pursue your career, I hope you and your paper money will be very happy together. The way you're thinking, that's about all you're going to have to talk to as you get older - your money! Lol Women aren't a commodity, they're a person, with feelings, they need to be loved and nurtured and in turn they'll do the same for their mate. Seems to me you need to learn the basics mate. Money doesn't buy you love and it never will.

Eve

You have already overstepped the boundaries, and lost a friend as a result, not healthy. You continue to pursue and she shot you down, but you persist, this also is not healthy. You think love is a game to be played, not healthy. You think you can buy love, oh so unhealthy. Forget about finding love and get a healthier outlook on life, as you have got life and BS all mixed up.

Maybe you are right... I better go to the therapist who counsels you... hats off to him he in fact did a good job . Healthy healthy healthy eat you pills on time .

Hey that's the difference between you and I Markyboy, I don't NEED to see a therapist as I can THINK for myself, unlike you it seems! I can see why you're still single! Lmao

Eve

Markdiaz... you say "why do people wanna waste their time with all the communication dont they have their career to take care of ? and congragulations you have found the perfect mate as your words say you really found the puppet of your dreams ."

I don't see the word "puppet" mentioned in there once, does anyone else? You ask why do people want to wast time by communicating?" Duhhhhhh are you on the same planet here? Relationships NEED to be worked at! Sounds to me that your career is your God, so go on, pursue your career, I hope you and your paper money will be very happy together. The way you're thinking, that's about all you're going to have to talk to as you get older - your money! lol Women aren't a commodity, they're a person, with feelings, they need to be loved and nurtured and in turn they'll do the same for their mate. Seems to me you need to learn the basics mate. Money doesn't buy you love and it never will.

Eve
Thank you eve you have opened my eyes... and thanks for reminding me that communication is important to work things out between couples... and as far as I remember you said in love we don't need to speck up our minds :rolleyes: as our love understands our verbal and non verbal actions... and even when they do understand your arguments... why does their ego comes first and poor things need to work things out again... this is like you lovers are announcing yourself dumb... puppet puppet I got my strings and you got mine but still I have the siccsors !

Sorry Markyboy but you don't understand the first thing about love, you already admitted that - "Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. life is strictly business for me" I don't know where EGO comes into this at all. Seems to me you have one big ego and you're quite happy with yourself.

If you ever want to find yourself a woman you can truly love, you first of all need to know HOW to love, one of the basic qualities you obviously haven't seemed to master yet. You asked a reasonable question and I gave you the answer but your ears are closed to the reality of the matter and you only want to fight! I suggest you grow up (and learn to spell!) lmao.

Eve

Sorry Markyboy but you don't understand the first thing about love, you already admitted that - "Pathological egocentricity and incapacity to love. life is strictly business for me" I don't know where EGO comes into this at all. Seems to me you have one big ego and you're quite happy with yourself.

If you ever want to find yourself a woman you can truly love, you first of all need to know HOW to love, one of the basic qualities you obviously haven't seemed to master yet. You asked a reasonable question and I gave you the answer but your ears are closed to the reality of the matter and you only want to fight! I suggest you grow up (and learn to spell!) lmao.

Eve
Yes I doo need to grow up I understand that... but a wise women like you is being so nice to me with every detail... OK grandma I need to grow up and I believe money makes the world go round . I do admit my obsession for this women but still I think you need to grow up too... what good is your wisdom with which you can't explain a kid how to love .

This sounds like the voice of a very selfish person. You say you're ego driven and from what you've written I can't disagree. Why not feel pride for your friend and respect for his boundries, as well of the woman that you claim to love? Do you really expect this course of action to work?
Yes I have enough money to sue him... as he is violateing the law here... nobody knows about his relationship and even if someone does... hell will break loose .

I gave you a perfectly good explanation of what love is like. We ALL have the capacity to love but you are in denial here. It seems to me you don't WANT to love. You have some kind of chip on your shoulder about love and relationships, why, I don't know? Have you been badly hurt in the past? I'm trying to help you here Mark, but you're throwing it back in my face! Yes, I am wise and yes I'm probably a bit older than you are, wisdom comes with age and with experience, another thing you'll find out on your way through life. How old are you anyway?

Eve

I sort of imagine you as looking like the evil robot from the movie ROBOTS, mark. Is that accurate? Do you really mean these things that you say?
I really do mean every word I say... what do you think ? An evil robot with no conscious .

No, I don't see you like that at all. I see you as one confused boy who has been told that money is the key to everything and while money IS essential in this life, it is not the key to true happiness. You seem to like to shock don't you? Well I'm not easily shockable. How old are you and why do you always want people to dislike you? Why do you have such a big chip on your shoulder love? What's happened in your life to make you this way?

Eve

I gave you a perfectly good explanation of what love is like. We ALL have the capacity to love but you are in denial here. It seems to me you don't WANT to love. You have some kind of chip on your shoulder about love and relationships, why, I don't know? Have you been badly hurt in the past? I'm trying to help you here Mark, but you're throwing it back in my face! Yes, I am wise and yes I'm probably a bit older than you are, wisdom comes with age and with experience, another thing you'll find out on your way through life. How old are you anyway?

Eve
I do appreciate your concern... thanks but no thanks . NEXT !

No, I don't see you like that at all. I see you as one confused boy who has been told that money is the key to everything and while money IS essential in this life, it is not the key to true happiness. You seem to like to shock don't you? Well I'm not easily shockable. How old are you and why do you always want people to dislike you? Why do you have such a big chip on your shoulder love? What's happened in your life to make you this way?

Eve
You tell me you are the shrink .

No, I don't see you like that at all. I see you as one confused boy who has been told that money is the key to everything and while money IS essential in this life, it is not the key to true happiness. You seem to like to shock don't you? Well I'm not easily shockable. How old are you and why do you always want people to dislike you? Why do you have such a big chip on your shoulder love? What's happened in your life to make you this way?

Eve
I don't see their inappropriate relationship going anywhere . There families are against each other and they will not approve . What goes around comes around , I see her coming back to me . If I can't love.. at least I can achieve what I think deserves to be with me . Now there is no turning back . Thanks to her I am working on various tasks and generateing the income and boosting my account . She sets my brain chemicals running.I need this mental energy to light up my life . My next step is to announce their relationship . But I am still thinking about something better to do.. as I really need to take care of a few deals in process .

What exactly are you asking for help with, Mark?

"If i can't love .. at least i can acheive what i think deserves to be with me."

That "what" is a "who" now do you see the problem? You can't FORCE someone to be with you, they've got to want to do that themselves.

Eve

"If i can't love .. at least i can acheive what i think deserves to be with me."

That "what" is a "who" now do you see the problem? You can't FORCE someone to be with you, they've got to want to do that themselves.

Eve

OK OK OK ! That's THE POINT No one LOVES ME AND NEITHER I Want to LOVE and this is the reason I want a relationship which has no meaning . I ll drag her with me and make her life a living hell . ( from my perception a living heaven ) thanks for your cooperation I never came across any other website which has dedicated members like you . Grazie and yes I am practiseing psychology as I completed my P.H.D the previous year .Thanks everyone you have been a tremendous help .

What exactly are you asking for help with, Mark?
Official top branch member ? How much do you earn ? NOT A REMARKABLE INCOME ? Do u? Love your job ? Content with it ? Alrightee then... next time when a luxurious sedan splash out mud on your face... remind yourself that you are happy with your life and have a good look at that tincan you drive home and ask yourself... is this what I wanted since I was a kid... people like you give up early in life... compromiseing and sacrificeing... your are the one who needs to help himself not me . The bottom line is I don't need an advice from loosers like you who are content with their pathetic life... and yes THANKS for the vocabulary lesson .

I'm not sure why I'm bothering, but I have to say I find your responses oddly fascinating, Mark... To be honest, you sound like sociopath! I mean, I almost think you're putting everything on just to get a rise out of people.

Here's a hypothetical: Why do you feel a need to respond so visciously to a bunch of heartfelt people being honest with you that you hardly know? Is honesty so repulsive to you? WEre you only looking for advice that matched 100% with what you had all ready decided? Seems quite contrary, considering that you're here, but what else can I assume?

I do have a guess - I think you're reading all this with a mother or father figure looking over your shoudler, telling you what's best to do. Figuratively or literally. That or you're putting us on. Honestly, I'm quite interested. Keep it up!

"thanks for your cooperation i never came across any other website which has dedicated members like you."

Was that a compliment I noticed Mark giving to this site?? Jeeeeze, you're slipping Mark! Lol Glad to see you DO have a heart after all! ;o)

Eve (Over and Out!)

I'm not sure why I'm bothering, but I have to say I find your responses oddly fascinating, Mark... To be honest, you sound like sociopath! I mean, I almost think you're putting everything on just to get a rise out of people.

Here's a hypothetical: Why do you feel a need to respond so visciously to a bunch of heartfelt people being honest with you that you hardly know? Is honesty so repulsive to you? WEre you only looking for advice that matched 100% with what you had all ready decided? Seems quite contrary, considering that you're here, but what else can I assume?

I do have a guess - I think you're reading all this with a mother or father figure looking over your shoudler, telling you what's best to do. Figuratively or literally. That or you're putting us on. Honestly, I'm quite interested. Keep it up!

Sociopath ? So quickly you came up with this conculsion... what do you call a person with various personality triats especially highter on the thinking scale... with an average intelegence ? Sociopath ?

I said you SOUND like a sociopath. But that you're so sensitive could just indicate that you're a know-nothing kid. These things remain to be seen, but continue to post, please, and let us explore this avenue of inquirery!

"thanks for your cooperation i never came across any other website which has dedicated members like you."

Was that a compliment I noticed Mark giving to this site???? Jeeeeze, you're slipping Mark! lol Glad to see you DO have a heart after all! ;o)

Eve (Over and Out!)
Thank you eve... you are going places in life and I can see it coming for you... you tackled this situation with a wise approach... other therapist's give up at this point... ( you better be over and out now ) I am working on a research associated with these type of critical situations . Grazie

Well if you ever "need me" Mark, just shout!

Eve

I said you SOUND like a sociopath. But that you're so sensitive could just indicate that you're a know-nothing kid. These things remain to be seen, but continue to post, please, and let us explore this avenue of inquirery!
You sound ? You are?. potaito patato.. is that what you are trying to say ? Do your home work and force your wisdom on someother dumb wise boy . ADIEU.. and keep your psychological theories to yourself ... remind your self you are still learning . may SIGMUD FREUD soul rest in peace as he is embarrassed because of you .

Haha... Okay. Rest well, Sigmund!

What exactly are you asking for help with, Mark?
I am asking for an answer which will make me more dedicated towards her . OK

Looks like you're dedicated/smitten/devoted/obsessed good and proper Marky boy... dedicating yourself to a female! Lmao I think that about says it all don't you? <and they call US the weaker sex - laughs>

Eve

i am asking for an answer which will make me more dedicated towards her . ok
First off destroy all your ideas and notions and forget about money. That would be a start.

Thanks eve and taliniman

Well if you ever "need me" Mark, just shout!

Eve
EVE !

I'm not sure why I'm bothering, but I have to say I find your responses oddly fascinating, Mark... To be honest, you sound like sociopath! I mean, I almost think you're putting everything on just to get a rise out of people.

Here's a hypothetical: Why do you feel a need to respond so visciously to a bunch of heartfelt people being honest with you that you hardly know? Is honesty so repulsive to you? WEre you only looking for advice that matched 100% with what you had all ready decided? Seems quite contrary, considering that you're here, but what else can I assume?

I do have a guess - I think you're reading all this with a mother or father figure looking over your shoudler, telling you what's best to do. Figuratively or literally. That or you're putting us on. Honestly, I'm quite interested. Keep it up!


Hi LBP how's your research ?