Hey guys I am gay should we say not that, that is the issue but just so we all know what I am talking about. Im currently studying at university and there is this girl I'm really fond of, I've seen her around and I know her vaguely through a friend of mine as they are both on the football team together. She looks stunning and I'm really interested in getting to know her more, I have chipped in a few things in conversation when my friend and her have been talking but nothing like a 1 on 1 chat, I've kind of took the first step and messaged her on Facebook as I don't have her number or anything like that, she has replied to me and we had a quick chat and then she said she would message me Friday as she has gone camping with her friends and signal is poor. She makes me very nervous and I have never been nervous about speaking to a girl or asking a girl if they want to meet up. Im not sure how to approach this situation id love to get to know her but I'm not very good as this chatting up stuff. My past girlfriends have been friends before hand. Any advice on this would be great thank you

The waiting game is the worse feeling in the world sweetie but sometimes that is what we have to do, you did the right steps to take slowly in action. Well, like you said she was going camping with friends so she might not have the greatest signal, if you have her on Facebook maybe send her a nice little email saying "I hope you had fun on your camping trip with your friends how was it?" and she if she responds, I totally understand about making the right move & making the first step is hard but show who you truly are, being gay is hard to express to the world but to other people that are gay it is a lot easier.

If she does not message me Friday do I give it a day or two to ask if she has a good time? And she is gay as well so its not like she straight as is off limits that way. I just feel very nervous, if I do end up talking to her when is the best time to ask for her number ?

I mean if you want to get to know her better maybe you can ask her to go out for a cup of coffee, the slow stuff might work better then rushing it may make you nervous but if you do it you will never know how to start things communicating is the best way.

That's what I'm really nervous about, asking her out for a drink or something. When would be the best time to do this and is there any advise on how I can go about not feeling so nervous about her, it's the first time a girl has made me this nervous. I know confidence is key but I don't want to end up talking crap and not knowing what to say as I'm nervous

Well, I am glad you went after a girl that feels the same way because if she was bisexual or straight it would be a messy ending. If she doesn't not email you Friday yes give it a day or two, you will feel nervous everyone does if you are straight, lesbian, or bisexual it happens to all of us hon, if you do get in contact with this girl wait and see how the conversations go first then if they go well she if she gives you her number first if not just wait, a little longer

OK thank you, I will try chatting to her for a while first see how it goes and then ill ask, and maybe ask her our for a drink. :D

I know how you totally feel about the nervous feeling. Confidence is one key but not all the answers to everything just be yourself around her start small talk like how was your day then pick up the conversation even if you do get choked up just explain to her how you feel, don't sound obsessive just be polite and say for example: I am nervous because you give me the butterflies if she says why? Say how you honestly feel gently.

It will get easier I hope things work out for you if you need anything else I'm here.

I guess I shall have to see how it all goes I will try the slow approach, as I know rushing things never work. Also when would you suggest is the right time to tell someone you like them, or are really interested in them

I hope I helped :)

Well, let's see how the conversation goes & if it goes smoothly see how she acts & treats you, You can slowly hint that you are interested in her if everything goes well like the emailing & chatting. Then, if you go on a coffee date or where ever even just a walk in the park & lunch or something goes well then go ahead.

Thanks you have been more than helpful, she seems very out of my league I think that my be why I am nervous

Hon, honestly we all think that way but you may be surprised that over time she might like you or is interested in you just like you are with her. You may be nervous but to be honest time helps. Being gay is hard to express in general to the world but once you express yourself don't be scared just go out there and go for the jump to catch this girl's eye or attention. But, also being nervous is normal you will feel that way for a little bit but as time goes on it will get easier maybe try not to think about it as a date or a girl you like think of it as two friends going to hang out that might help.

Yeah I guess I could think like that, being gay isn't the problem I'm out and proud and I have no problems with people knowing who I am :D

GOOD girl that is what I like to hear stand for your right with no shame! It might work and I hope it does.

Thank you, been out since I was 16 I am now 21. Ive had the ups and downs but I'm happy and I have great friends and family. Just need the one lady :D thank you for all your help

Your quite welcome I wish I had understanding family & friends but I will get over it I am standing proud & that one lady will come it just takes time.
Anything you need I am here.
& I understand.

I'm sure your family and friends will get use to it some time, glad to see another standing tall :D

If they don't understand it isn't my problem it is there's I am proud & not backing down at all. See, I don't have much friends but the ones I do have they understand but family doesn't which I am fine with that.

Least you have the friends you have to pick you up :D

This is true hon thanks for the cheering up part:)

Hey dragon just in case you are interested, she never replied Friday so I messaged her Saturday asking if she had a good time. We had like a 3 min conversation and then she didn't reply for ages, but she then randomly messaged me her number and said to drop her a text. I think we text for a little while, but she was out with friends getting drunk... so do I wait a few days see if she texts me and then maybe text her if she doesn't?

Hi sweetie how did it go?

Read my post above you one I posted :D

Wow I missed that one sorry hun. This girl is making me nervous, did your 3 min long conversation go good at least? I would text this girl, just a hello hi how are you? If she answers try to have another conversation if she doesn't respond wait for her to come to you with a response.

Yeah been talking to her most the day I asked if she wanted to meet for a drink sometime she said there is a party on weds for her friend and she invited me and my mate, we been have a good conversation today its gone from getting to know each other to more of friendly banter texts that make you laugh if you get me

Awe I'm glad to hear hun.

Spoke some more I kind of showed some interest in her and she has now said that she has a lot going on at the moment, and said.. so friends? I'm guessing this just means she letting me down gently

It may be hun but it also may be that she isn't interested or looking at someone else or there may be possible that she is going through some things at the moment.

Well I guess I just stop chasing at this point, seems pointless ha

I am sorry I haven't been on lately sweetie how is things going? And never stop for love sweetie even if she isn't the one there are others out there just like you looking for love.

Its been odd, she finally messaged me saying she wasn't interested and that she liked someone else, then a week later she sent me some flirty texts and I asked her about them when she sobered up and she had no answers for me, sometimes she ignores my text sometimes she don't and she always cool with me in person. I think I am going to have one last attempt to talk to her in private about it as I don't know where I stand and I would like to know

Make sure you ask questions of how she can be cool with you in person is she cool with you around her friends or just you & her? Or both?
Ask her if she remembers the flirty texts where all about?
She may be saying she likes someone else because maybe she does? Or maybe she isn't interested in you?
But, what gets me is how can you be all flirty & nice when your under the influence but sober is she the same flirty if not it might be the way she acts under the influence, see some people change when they are under the influence but others don't, some remember nothing or be like me where I remember everything!
You should just talk as a friend & ask her where you stand but don't fall into the trap & get your heart shattered or hope's up,
It seems like to me she is confused on what she wants or likes hun,
I'll be here :)

Thanks I did ask her the day after about the texts and she didn't give me an answer really she was like I don't know, and she isn't flirty sober she comes out of her shell when she has a few drinks. I just feel like in the middle and I don't know what's going on when she does one thing then does another. We always hang with friends and that and she cool with me then

Try to get one on one time... but, if she needs a few drinks to get loose that is kind of pathetic because then that kind of means she has to have drinks in order to be herself or it can start to be a problem if she likes someone and she drinks she can flirt with someone else when she is already with someone.

Well I will get her one on one when I have to speak to her, but we shall see what happens. Thanks for the help though :D

If the help workd or doesn't I am sorry but ill be there for u in any time of need :)good luck hun