I have been dating my current girlfriend for a total of 10 months. We are very serious and for the first time I can actually see a future with someone. Like all relationships we both have our emotional baggage, in my case I have been cheated on in the past and over the years since that last serious relationship have had to do a lot of self improvement to come back from it. Her particular issues are directly related to her first serious relationship. She was with a guy for three years who used to hit her and cheat on her on a regular basis. She constantly lived in a fear of being cheated on or hit if she brought anything up. He constantly told her that he would change for her and didn't and manipulated her in ways to maintain the relationship. As a result lets fast forward to now. The past 2-3 months we have been having a recurring argument. Nothing seems to be getting any better nor do I appear to be making any headway. She is currently working at a pharmacy and trying to find a job in the field her diploma is from. I offer her much needed support as she hates her current job (I work there as well) and several of the people she works with. She is a quiet girl but polite. Knowing previous pitfalls of old relationships its of course relatively easy for me to identify things I need to do. I have never once lied to her; I have admitted that I have a poor memory and I may misinterpret things. She tends to get jealous and compare me to her ex-boyfriend; which I can somewhat understand. However no matter how much I reassure her or act in ways that should show that I am not like this guy whatsoever it seems to backfire. At one point I sat down with her and made a list of anything that caused her not to trust me. One example would be at about noon on a Friday I mentioned I had plans with a friend and that I would be unavailable to do anything, her response was she got angry and I inevitably cancelled my plans to do something with her instead. In response I told her that I would forever from that point hold Friday nights open for her. One night I mentioned that I was trying to make plans with a couple we are both friends with and if that was okay with her. She implied interest so I went ahead with making plans. I then got out of work and went to pick her up and she did not want to go out, which was fine I called the couple cancelled and postponed plans for the following night. My significant other ended up getting mad and I told her I was going to go out with the couple anyway since she did not want to go out and told me to anyway. The following day she sends me a text while I am at work telling me she is going to another city to visit family for the weekend completely bailing on our plans. Upon arriving she tells me I can come up if I would like, note that the area she went to is about 2 hours driving time. I expressed concern and got incredibly angry that she not only failed to give me much notice about plan cancellation with the other couple but also that she couldn't have waited an hour until I got out of work so we could go up together. Last Sunday she was angry at me because it was my birthday the Saturday before and we went out and had a fantastic time, again with the same couple as above. I worked a short shift on Sunday and felt like complete garbage. I get home at two and lay in bed because I am tired and exhausted. She then gets angry at me and when I call her at 9 at night and ask if she would like to do anything. I state that I am not feeling well from the night before and am quite tired and I am sorry if I fall asleep. She gets mad says there is nothing wrong and then texts me a book immediately after getting off the phone with me. My response was I call you everyday I get out of work, out of grad class, I text you on my lunches; why is it the one time I don't you can't call if its obviously bothering you that I haven't called yet? I tend to initiate all of our plans and I seem to be the one expected to cancel if she decides on something else. I make all the phone calls she very rarely calls me with the excuse that she doesn't like not being answered; though I point out the handful of times she has I have answered right away or called her back within 10 minutes of missing her call. She asks me to be open with her because I have trouble displaying my emotions, I have made strides in doing so yet she can't seem to be open with me when something is bothering her. Honestly there doesn't seem to be anything that l do that shows her that I am not going to her over that I am completely serious about our relationship. I even told her to go through my phone on impulse on one occasion and she got angry because an ex texted me happy birthday on my birthday. I was honest with everything and she even looked through my sent messages to verify. Even so apparently this has made things worse because she got annoyed and after I left to get ready for work she sent me a book about how she now feels more un-trusting. For the most part the only thing I can see as being a major fault of my own through this whole situation is I tend to have a bad temper. I keep it in check very well however as you can imaging with 3 months of dealing with this every week I am rapidly losing control and becoming unbalanced and frustrated. I am beginning to lose the control I have over my temper and starting to snap at her or make short sarcastic comments. I tend to immediately apologize afterwards but of course at that point its too late. What can I do here to show her I am not like her ex and I am not spending every waking moment screwing around on her?

This may be a no win situation. She has issues that she is not even dealing with and you are not equipped to do it. It takes a lot of patience to deal with someone like that and you seem to be losing yours. I'd say if you can, just be her friend and leave the relationship thing alone.