So I started dating this girl who lived in San Diego while I live in the bay area which is about 8 hrs driving between us. She's 23 and I'm 25. We would take turns flying down or up to each other once a month on the weekends or I would fly down in June for 4 days and then she would come up in July for a few days. This went on for about 6 months, everything was great, we talked a lot, we were very affectionate with each other things were great.

She decided to move back home to Stockton so we could be closer and that's like 2 hrs from me so we were super excited. We would always say we missed each other and truly wanted to see the other person. Anyway once she moved back about a couple weeks after I noticed she started becoming distant a little bit at a time. I asked her about it and she said its nothing and not to worry and if something was an issue she would definitely talk to me about it so I trusted her.

Well things went on and she stopped holding my hand whereas before she would reach for it whenever we went out. She started just putting more and more space between us and I tried talking to her more (this is now at the 10 month part of our relationship, which is now 4 months after she moved back) and she finally said that she doesn't know if she should be in a relationship because she has things she needs to figure out and doesn't think she's ready for marriage yet. She mainly said she just doesn't feel ready and she can't figure out the things she needs to figure out while in a relationship and so she just doesn't want to be in one. I told her I would give her 2 weeks without me calling or communicating with her so she could focus on herself and give her some breathing room and that we would talk after the 2 weeks. I stuck to the 2 weeks even though it was the hardest thing in the world but she ended up texting me 2 days before the 2 weeks were up saying she was ready to talk but not tonight because she would be out of town (she went to a show with her best friend and a married couple, no other guy was involved). I asked if she wanted me to meet her up in Stockton or just call and she's said the phone would probably be best. I asked if she could at least tell me what she decided and we would still talk tomorrow either way.

She said I'm really sorry but it's not going to work out. I said I'm sorry about that too, have fun tonight and well talk later. So she called me the next day which I didn't want, I thought we deserved a face to face if she was going to break up with me but that's not what she wanted. Anyway she said the same things as before: did not want to be in a relationship and just wasn't ready for anything and needed to figure her problems out (she never elaborated on what those were and I should have asked but didn't). I said that I was not going to try and change her mind and that I would keep doing what I'm doing, if she wants to tag along with me then cool, if not then that's fine too. I agreed with what she said and I said I would stop her or hold her back from being who she needed to be or find what she's looking for. She said I did nothing wrong and that I couldn't of done anything more. I wished her the best and said that I didn't know where I'd be in a few months or a year or whatever but that if things can't work out now then maybe later, who knows what the future holds but I wasn't going to wait around for her either. She said OK and she said its not like I won't see you again I'm sure I'll be down to visit some mutual friends in my area so well still be friends somewhat and then we said goodbye.

It was pretty rough for me during these last 2 weeks and still is because I truly loved this girl. She told me on many occasions that she loved me too even right before our 2 week break she said she loved me. Anyway I really don't know what could have happened. Some info about her: she had told her bro in law right before she moved back home that she felt very strongly I was the one, she told me she couldn't imagine me not being in her life and that we met at a good time, she is very reserved with her emotions and feelings and hardly shows any at all except during those first six months where she was very affectionate, she is hard to get direct answers from about how she is feeling and closes up after awhile, I'm her first serious relationship. That's just some general info about her. When she moved back I would see her on the weekends (Friday evening through Sunday evening). She works on the weekend so I would see her in the evenings from like 6 o'clock till 11 or so. She had mentioned some things about independence and during the breakup also said that things might have been different if we lived in the same town and that the distance was hard because she couldn't just invite me over, which I had told her I would move up there so I don't know why she brought that out as a reason but that's how she felt I guess.

Anyway that's about all I know to say, sorry if it's so long but basically what could have happened? Why did she change so drastically about how she felt in such a short amount of time (literally a couple weeks after she moved back)? WHYS theory I have that I could use some input on is she had told me before she doesn't have that many close girlfriends and when she was in San Diego she only had her sister who was married and the people she would hang out with we're in their 30's and married. She might have had a hole to fill and I provided that for her while she was down in San Diego. When she moved back she was with her best girlfriend again who is 27 and is really immature and is stuck in that party stage and never been able to hold down a relationship. Anyway now she had her best friend back and maybe felt like she was OK without me and didn't need me anymore and then just got over the relationship since she felt it was needed for her and wanted her freedom back with her girlfriend to go do whatever.

Anyway that's about all I have so any help or advice would be appreciated. Also as I mentioned I really truly love this girl even enough to let her go because I know that will make her happy and become a better person however is there any way I can go about trying to reconnect in the future? If so how long after we have broken up should I wait? The breakup went well, no hard feelings or yelling or anything emotional since I got that out of the way during the 2 weeks and already knew what she would say and accepted she would break up. So what can I do to possibly get back with her eventually? I know it's a slim chance but we do have mutual friends and I'm bound to run into her again.

Also everyone has told me I can do way better than her not just looks wise but in every other way as well. I have a really good stable job, I am told I am really good looking and that she doesn't hold a candle to me in that sense, I'm funny but a little on the shy side, I'm in a band, I'm super athletic and so I mean is she looking for someone better? I'm not cocky or anything but I know what I'm worth and it just seems like she thinks she's going to get something better and I don't understand that. Again I'm actually a really humble guy and I don't think more than is necessary about myself, I'm easy going and just want to love my girlfriend and for her to love me back, I'm super loyal and will do anything I can to help my girl and fight for her until I die if I have to.

She knows all these things and yet chooses to leave the relationship so what happened?

Nothing happened to it, it just changed and while it was fun while it lasted, she didn't want commitment like you did is all it seems to me. Her curiosity at her new fun world was just too much to avoid.

Nothing to do with YOU, just her wanting to explore, and experience on her own terms.

It is time to move on, sometimes people's feelings just change with time, feelings fade, new feelings grow. What you want to day might not be what you want tomorrow. Regardless of what happens, this is finished, it is time to move on.