Hey everybody, I am in a very tough situation. I don't know if I will survive or not. Please help me out as I really need some advice or motivation. There is no one I can talk to about.

My problem is like there was a guy in my class, I don't know I liked him a lot. So I contacted him on his mobile number and we started talking and all. Then I figured out he was already committed to somebody else but I just couldn't let him go. He told me lots of times that he is committed but we still talked as friends. Then after a year we broke up. For another year there was absolutely no contact between the two of us, but he missed me all that time. I know as he used to call me from random numbers just to check how I was doing.

After that year we became friends again, and this time too I took the initiative. We were very close now. We went out often. He loved being with me and I loved being with him. He often reminded me about his being committed but I would never let him go. He used to be very intimate with me. We were together like this for another year, and now he told me again about that girl that he is engaged to her, and he always thought of me as a good friend.

Its been a month since we talked, I even told him I love him and all. He is disturbed too, but he just let me go. I can't forget him. I think I'll just die without him. My whole life is upside down. Somewhere in my heart I know I am still waiting for him. Please help me someone!

I would say to get your mind off him. I just wen't through a breakup and am still upset, and little things are still setting me off, but getting your mind of it helps a ton. Go out and do something you want to. Once I get her off my mind I can enjoy myself a little more. I just had to realize she wasn't going to want me anymore and that I had to move on. I hope you can get this guy off your mind and stay strong.

This obsession is not healthy and despite the intimate CHEATING behind his girl friends back, it has lead you down a path of false hope and very bad behavior. You really need to get your life on track by building a healthier life for yourself without him in it. Once you have reached being happy without him, you will gradually lose the obsession you have.

Its about you leaving him alone, forgetting this toxic friendship, and getting busy on your own behalf. You have done all the wrong things, now you must do the right things for yourself, starting yesterday.

You set yourself up for this problem as he told you from the start that he was committed. At that point, you should have just let it go.

On the other hand, he doesn't seem to me to be very committed if he was going out with you and was "intimate" as you say. So basically he was cheating on this girl that he was supposedly committed to.

He's a pig and was using you. Forget him, learn from this, and move on. Try to find someone that isn't committed this time, it will probably work out better for you.

I know I made mistakes.. and it's the guilt that's killing me..

And I can't accept how I could let him use me all this time.I have been so stupid

You followed your heart, forgive your heart.

You got to get out of this. Getting with a engaged person means you are hurting another person (his partner). I understand this will be hard for you, but here is a possible solution.

record the following lines on a tape recorder or so:

"Only a slut / <other non-dignified word> would chase a man consciously in a relationship which he does not want to end. I was a <slut / bad word>. He was a jerk/<bad word> too, as he did not keep the trust of his girl, and he can do the same with me. "
(the bad words does not need to be true, just need to be something that does not increase your/his dignity. We are not trying to undignify anyone, we are trying to get the last dirts this stupid situation left in you). I will find a partner who will love me and only me and be honest with me".

Get an headset, connect it to the recorder, put it on your ears. Keep the tape recorder in standby, when with the press of a button you can start it playing. Put one finger on the tape. Set it paused, but full volume to blast your ears.

close your eyes. Sit upright on a chair. Think of a ocean / mountain / a great man / the nice moments you spent with your lover. Keep on thinking, keep on thinking, and keep on thinking until you start crying / falling asleep etc.

At that point of emotional trance (start of tears.. ) when you feel the need to grasp something, press the button, let the sound of the recorder blast your ears. You may feel, at this moment the need to have a partner right there near you, don't worry.

For next one week, every time, you go to sleep, wish for what you need (a loving partner).

In two months, you will meet your partner, assuming you have a 50% male population (of all singles) around you.

PS: do this at your own risk. If you are having random thoughts in place of what is stated here, this can backfire. Do not think of this answer, do not think about what you have to do. Just think about ocean / mountain / what you are thinking about. And do the wishing REGULARLY.