Hi guys, wreck here. Posted a couple of years ago regarding something about going NC. I have fully recovered since then and I currently am interested in my ex-boss (ex as she has been transferred to a different department). So I told her I liked her so as to make my intentions clear and avoid the friend zone; she was flattered, and I immediately followed it up by asking for a date, to which she said yes. After I told her, I gave her a little extra attention at the office (not too much; just leaving short notes on her workstation, being sweet, driving her home when she was tipsy after the office party, etc.) Unfortunately, on the day of the date itself, she postponed at the last minute (with a valid excuse which I verified). We were supposed to go out last Sunday. She said that she'd make it up to me and everything; I just said don't mind.

So yesterday night, I stayed after work to ask her if she wanted to ride along with me since I was going to a party close to her place. She's like "nah, I'm good" and I'm like "OK, so I'll see you next week" and so I went to the party. After a couple of hours, she texts me and says "Sorry I realized that I was mean to you earlier, it's just that you caught me off guard in front of my teammates and I didn't know how to reply; so if you like, after your party, you can pick me up and we can go for coffee" so I'm like "Ok, lemme finish up here and I'll swing by your place."

So I pick her up and we go have coffee; turns out she had an ulterior motive in mind: she wanted to ask me out so she could talk to me into NOT liking her as we worked in the same company and it was, according to her, making her uncomfortable. So I asked her "have I touched you inappropriately, or have I done anything inappropriate?" and she says "No, you've been the perfect gentleman." And she says the teasing from her teammates is what made her uncomfortable about it. I'm like "Teasing? We're both adults here. You're gonna let teasing get to you? And we're not even a couple yet haha" And she goes on by saying "if you were in a different company, I'd be chatting you up everyday" and so on and so forth.

Funny thing is, all throughout the night, she still kept asking me questions about my ex, where I wanted to be in a couple of years, my family. Date stuff. I thought to myself, why is she asking me these questions? I thought she brought me here for me to UNLIKE her? I'm like WTH. And during our conversation, she kept recalling every sweet act that I did, and every text that I sent her, out loud, while saying that it was sweet and thoughtful and she liked it and all that.

All throughout the conversation, I kept parrying her; I said that you're not my boss anymore since you've been transferred to a different department; and I told her to stop playing the "conflict of interest" card; I also told her that I was just going with the flow and being honest, and I wanted to take it slow and see where this took us. I was basically being solid without pushing it too far and giving everything away.

At the end of the night she like pouts and says in a teasingly angry manner "Grrr! I was supposed to win tonight! I was supposed to make you stop liking me!" And I say "Awww, widdle pwincess din't get her way? Awww boo-hoo" and then I was ruffling her hair LOL.

Anyway, I am CONFUSED AS HELL with the mixed signals she threw my way last night. Should I:

1. Still act the same way towards her?
2. Go under the radar?
3. NOT go out with her again?

I also wanted to see if this was a test to see if I would stick around.

Sorry for the long- post, I just wanted to put everything down as accurately as I could.

Cheers!

wreck

:)

Work place relationships can make work a really miserable place when you have a lovers spat, as any couple does. Something to consider, as they are already teasing her, and there is no dating or relationship, yet they are in your business.

Risky business either way on this one.

She's testing you is what it sounds like.turn the game around and make her try. Cheers!

Thanks talaniman and kayco123; yeah, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she seemed to be flirting with me while trying to get me to unlike her hehe go figure :)

I find it interesting that you felt the need to verify her reasoning for postponing the date.

The prospect of dating you may make her uncomfortable, due to her own feelings or those of her co-workers, but no doubt she enjoys the attention she gets from you at the same time.

I'd back off a little and see what her response is. If she is truly interested, she will be contacting you, or finding ways to get your attention, and you can go from there. If she is thankful to have put an end to the attention, and teasing from her co-workers, she will leave you alone.

She already knows how you feel and that you are interested, give her a chance to figure out how she feels.

I find it interesting that you felt the need to verify her reasoning for postponing the date.

The prospect of dating you may make her uncomfortable, due to her own feelings or those of her co-workers, but no doubt she enjoys the attention she gets from you at the same time.

I'd back off a little and see what her response is. If she is truly interested, she will be contacting you, or finding ways to get your attention, and you can go from there. If she is thankful to have put an end to the attention, and teasing from her co-workers, she will leave you alone.

She already knows how you feel and that you are interested, give her a chance to figure out how she feels.

Thanks for this, DoulaLC, it sheds some light on the matter. I'll cool it for a bit then :)
Regarding verifying the date postponement, she actually was with someone who I knew at the time, and that someone texted me that they were together (without me asking), thus=verification :)