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sailingfree
Apr 20, 2012, 05:43 AM
For 8 years I have been dealing with my sons' father and his new wife. It all started when the new wife decided she didn't like him paying child support and so she made it her mission to encourage him to fight for sole custody. Father is not that interested in son, BUT he is concerned with how people perceive him so he acts like the perfect doting father when people are watching or he is contacting the school for his once a year performance of "father of the year".

We have a parenting plan and he has generous visitation, problem is that he travels constantly and if rarely home for his visitation. However, he insists that 10 year old son go over to spend time with his family, stepmother and 2 young (3 and 5) half siblings. During the time son is there, they monitor his cell phone and discourage any contact with me. I have been fighting stage 4 cancer for 2 years. I am currently in remission but with stage 4, who knows.

The emails and texts are harassing and very bullying. He is expanding his visitation into my time and when I say no because my time with my son is just as precious, he becomes more angry and vicious stating that it is only fair since I have him the majority of time (school week). When I ask if he would like to swap weekends to accommodate these plans, he refuses and states NO... he wants his "extra" day. I feel like he is just counting days trying to reduce support.

The emails and texts to me are constantly calling me a liar and a terrible person and go on stating that I "deserve cancer" and we need to discuss the inevitable. He discusses the "inevitable" in the same sentence that he says he needs to discuss helping put his old dog down to "help him along". It is just sick...

At exchanges, while I was going through treatment, the step mother would sit there and point and laugh and rub her head as I stood there bald just waiting to get son back while they fawned and told him that they are his family and how he belongs with them because that is where his half siblings are and they don't understand why he has to leave and then they have the little kids stand there and cry as son walks over to me. Wife still rubbing her head, flipping her hair, and flipping me off laughing.

Son gets punished for skyping with me when both of them are gone for 10 hours and he is stuck with the nanny and the little kids.

I am just tired of the constant emails bullying me and harassing me telling me all the terrible things I am and how thank god son has them to "fix" all the ways I screw him up. Funny how yes, I have sole legal and sole residential custody and son is on honor roll EVERY semester, a successful cub scout, an amazing baseball player and an all around great gentle and kind kiddo. But lately he is becoming disrespectful and very defiant when this has NEVER been a problem. He is obviously very stressed by the situation between his father and I. There is no way to shelter him from it. His father kept him for Mother's Day to have brunch with "his family" because it was "the stepmother's turn". I got him back at 11am after brunch. Just hurtful!!

They are very aware of the stress they are inflicting and they are also very aware of cancer and stress. Her father just passed away a few years ago and they are very quick to remind son that he "died from cancer, just like mommie will".

I have emails (25/month) showing the harassment and disregard for son's wellbeing and I remind him that son is in the firing zone and being affected... he just blames me for allowing my son to be hurt by his actions... what the heck?

Help! I want to file a peace order but I don't know if I can .

JudyKayTee
Apr 20, 2012, 06:14 AM
Of course you can file for a peace order/restraining order if you're being harassed.

I would get an experienced Attorney, go back t Court, explain how the interaction (or lack of interaction) is affecting the child and see what can be done.

Minimally all of you need counselling- you to deal with them, them to be told to shut up (quite bluntly), your son in order to cope.