Shivam01
Apr 17, 2012, 07:50 PM
Me and my girlfriend are in high school and have been dating for almost 11 months now and things have been going so smoothly the first 7 months. I'm a sophomore and she's a senior. We would laugh, and always enjoy the time we spent together. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ and we both agreed on sex after marriage.
Everything had been so good the first 7 months as I said earlier. She was a dual enrollment student (takes college classes alongside high school classes) and I wasn't, until I got enrolled during January. We spent much more time together then because our schedules had more free time for us. Ever since then, her affection rate has been lowering and she seems to be acting different as if we spend too much time together. I say I'm going to go chill with my friends if she doesn't talk much and she tells me she wants me to stay. She doesn't smother me because I always have my own time aside from her as well. But as I was saying, during January she also put me through a lot. She was stressed out I'm guessing, and she would ignore me for her iPod when we would spend time and then when I ask what's wrong she wouldn't tell me. Then after a week of it, I got fed up sitting there like a dog waiting for her to acknowledge her man, and asked her up front. She told me she was stressed and didn't want to stress me out by telling me she was, so she kept quiet and her excuse for being on her iPod instead of paying attention to me was that she was tired and barely got any sleep, so she was too exhausted to speak.
Another thing she did was on the 23rd of January, she told me she loved me... I felt like I was on top of the world until February 5th... At 5 AM we were both awake and got on the phone, then as I was falling asleep she eventually told me she's not sure whether she loves me or not. I was really hurt and still am. I'm trying to get over it and tell her it still angers me a bit, and she says she feels like I'm going to hold that against her forever. Then she tells me that it's not that she likes me any less by telling me she's not sure, it's just she feels like she's not mature enough to understand what love is. She has a mother, father, and brothers and sisters that love and care so much about her, so I don't buy that excuse. It still pains me and changed me a lot by her doing that to me because I gave her my heart, and I feel like she threw it in the dirt. Now I feel like I don't EVER want to hear "I love you" again... Even if we grew up and got married, unless she finds a way to fix what she did.
She also seems to be disrespecting me lately. As in, she thinks she can talk to me in a bad way sometimes when I don't do anything to her... I'm simply here as a Man of God to support and love any and everyone, and she doesn't appreciate what I do for her. We were spending time on our argument days about a month ago, and I was telling her she overthinks and stressed over every little thing. She said she knows why and said it's a bad experience she had a few years ago. I asked what happened, and she said she's not telling me because it's PERSONAL. This has been something I've been wondering our whole relationship and it hurt she can't be open. I said that couples are supposed to have no secrets between each other, and she said that couples have a right to some privacy. I told her, when it comes down to these things, there should be no secrets and she kept arguing and not wanting to tell me. Then, she tried to tell me that she can't open up because she copes with things differently than others. She says she prefers distractions and talking about things just makes her feel worse because she then thinks about them too much. She doesn't seem to realize what it does to me, the one who loves and cares for her, when she doesn't tell me what's going on. She even asked why she has to tell me things if they have nothing to do with me! Now that really hurt! She later on decided to be more open with me, yet I still haven't found out whatever it was that happened and still wonder.
Another thing that bothers me is her "phone addiction." At first it was her iPod like I mentioned earlier, but she recently bought an Android Photon I think, and it seems to be her prized possession. Ever since she got it, I can't go a DAY without her pulling that thing out to be on eBay or some other site while we're together. It's ridiculous because she can't even look at me when we talk because of that ridiculous thing. I told her it's rude, and she said she doesn't see it as rude so long as she's still paying attention. That's a load of bologna to me right there because technology is destroying the manners of teens today! Anyway, I understand if she has to use the phone for something important, and can tolerate it. The week before the last one, she was feeling bad and I was asking her if there's anything I can do to help her feel better, like a hug or something, and she just ignored it the first time, and when I asked again, she shook her head no. So I just sat there, and she had the nerve to pull her phone out and look up things on the internet when I was sitting there trying to be a comfort to her. She was so busy on that phone that she didn't even realize the angry expression on my face. Then, last Friday, she had the nerve to pull that thing out to text someone, and I know it wasn't her mom because she used to text me from her mom's phone when she didn't have a phone herself. She had the nerve to text whoever it was when I was trying to say goodbye because the bell rang for class. I said it 3 times and she didn't even look up at me! So I just closed the door of the hallway and started up the stairs. When I was up the first flight, she came out the hallway and made me come down to give her a goodbye hug. I feel like I should've just kept walking because that was very rude of her. Now, yesterday, she pulled her phone out to show me a video game she wants to get for her sister, and I got mad because I wanted to have an actual conversation rather than look on a screen like we usually do because she ALWAYS has something to look up. I felt like she could've just told me about the game instead of showing me it because I already knew of it. I had got mad at her and when I was going to apologize for overreacting, I told her to put her phone away because the sight of that thing makes me angry, and she refused because she's not even using it. I apologized anyway because I wasn't going to put up with her ignorance since I had a few minutes to get to class. But, now, I can't stand the sight of that thing! Every time I see it, I want to just sling it far away because I feel like she looks at that thing more than me!
Another problem I have is that I give her the best hugs that she told me she loves, and I don't even get that many kisses in return! Lately, I get like one or not even a goodbye kiss before she leaves! She used to shower me with kisses all over my face, and now it's so boring because I barely get any romantic kisses! Most of last week, my goodbye "kiss" would be a light little lip touch that feels like a feather touching my lips! It's so annoying and when I ask her why she does that, she said she's not in a kissy mood. Do you really have to be in a mood to give your man one good kiss that would make him extremely happy? Like really, I feel like that's just ridiculous. She says she wants to make me happy, but can't give me a simple kiss.
All in all, we had much more other arguments that were stupid and pointless on her part, but these are the main ones. We even had an argument about how she doesn't ever say good night to me when she wants to sleep! She asked why she has to say it and why don't I just say it, and I replied and said because I'm not the one who's going to sleep! So she kept arguing saying she doesn't see it as a big deal, and that answer proves she's not good with manners or something. I honestly don't know what to do from right now, so any help will be appreciated because this woman is making me sink into depression and killing me slowly. I love her, but can only take so much... I give love and don't expect it back from others, but from my woman, I do.
Everything had been so good the first 7 months as I said earlier. She was a dual enrollment student (takes college classes alongside high school classes) and I wasn't, until I got enrolled during January. We spent much more time together then because our schedules had more free time for us. Ever since then, her affection rate has been lowering and she seems to be acting different as if we spend too much time together. I say I'm going to go chill with my friends if she doesn't talk much and she tells me she wants me to stay. She doesn't smother me because I always have my own time aside from her as well. But as I was saying, during January she also put me through a lot. She was stressed out I'm guessing, and she would ignore me for her iPod when we would spend time and then when I ask what's wrong she wouldn't tell me. Then after a week of it, I got fed up sitting there like a dog waiting for her to acknowledge her man, and asked her up front. She told me she was stressed and didn't want to stress me out by telling me she was, so she kept quiet and her excuse for being on her iPod instead of paying attention to me was that she was tired and barely got any sleep, so she was too exhausted to speak.
Another thing she did was on the 23rd of January, she told me she loved me... I felt like I was on top of the world until February 5th... At 5 AM we were both awake and got on the phone, then as I was falling asleep she eventually told me she's not sure whether she loves me or not. I was really hurt and still am. I'm trying to get over it and tell her it still angers me a bit, and she says she feels like I'm going to hold that against her forever. Then she tells me that it's not that she likes me any less by telling me she's not sure, it's just she feels like she's not mature enough to understand what love is. She has a mother, father, and brothers and sisters that love and care so much about her, so I don't buy that excuse. It still pains me and changed me a lot by her doing that to me because I gave her my heart, and I feel like she threw it in the dirt. Now I feel like I don't EVER want to hear "I love you" again... Even if we grew up and got married, unless she finds a way to fix what she did.
She also seems to be disrespecting me lately. As in, she thinks she can talk to me in a bad way sometimes when I don't do anything to her... I'm simply here as a Man of God to support and love any and everyone, and she doesn't appreciate what I do for her. We were spending time on our argument days about a month ago, and I was telling her she overthinks and stressed over every little thing. She said she knows why and said it's a bad experience she had a few years ago. I asked what happened, and she said she's not telling me because it's PERSONAL. This has been something I've been wondering our whole relationship and it hurt she can't be open. I said that couples are supposed to have no secrets between each other, and she said that couples have a right to some privacy. I told her, when it comes down to these things, there should be no secrets and she kept arguing and not wanting to tell me. Then, she tried to tell me that she can't open up because she copes with things differently than others. She says she prefers distractions and talking about things just makes her feel worse because she then thinks about them too much. She doesn't seem to realize what it does to me, the one who loves and cares for her, when she doesn't tell me what's going on. She even asked why she has to tell me things if they have nothing to do with me! Now that really hurt! She later on decided to be more open with me, yet I still haven't found out whatever it was that happened and still wonder.
Another thing that bothers me is her "phone addiction." At first it was her iPod like I mentioned earlier, but she recently bought an Android Photon I think, and it seems to be her prized possession. Ever since she got it, I can't go a DAY without her pulling that thing out to be on eBay or some other site while we're together. It's ridiculous because she can't even look at me when we talk because of that ridiculous thing. I told her it's rude, and she said she doesn't see it as rude so long as she's still paying attention. That's a load of bologna to me right there because technology is destroying the manners of teens today! Anyway, I understand if she has to use the phone for something important, and can tolerate it. The week before the last one, she was feeling bad and I was asking her if there's anything I can do to help her feel better, like a hug or something, and she just ignored it the first time, and when I asked again, she shook her head no. So I just sat there, and she had the nerve to pull her phone out and look up things on the internet when I was sitting there trying to be a comfort to her. She was so busy on that phone that she didn't even realize the angry expression on my face. Then, last Friday, she had the nerve to pull that thing out to text someone, and I know it wasn't her mom because she used to text me from her mom's phone when she didn't have a phone herself. She had the nerve to text whoever it was when I was trying to say goodbye because the bell rang for class. I said it 3 times and she didn't even look up at me! So I just closed the door of the hallway and started up the stairs. When I was up the first flight, she came out the hallway and made me come down to give her a goodbye hug. I feel like I should've just kept walking because that was very rude of her. Now, yesterday, she pulled her phone out to show me a video game she wants to get for her sister, and I got mad because I wanted to have an actual conversation rather than look on a screen like we usually do because she ALWAYS has something to look up. I felt like she could've just told me about the game instead of showing me it because I already knew of it. I had got mad at her and when I was going to apologize for overreacting, I told her to put her phone away because the sight of that thing makes me angry, and she refused because she's not even using it. I apologized anyway because I wasn't going to put up with her ignorance since I had a few minutes to get to class. But, now, I can't stand the sight of that thing! Every time I see it, I want to just sling it far away because I feel like she looks at that thing more than me!
Another problem I have is that I give her the best hugs that she told me she loves, and I don't even get that many kisses in return! Lately, I get like one or not even a goodbye kiss before she leaves! She used to shower me with kisses all over my face, and now it's so boring because I barely get any romantic kisses! Most of last week, my goodbye "kiss" would be a light little lip touch that feels like a feather touching my lips! It's so annoying and when I ask her why she does that, she said she's not in a kissy mood. Do you really have to be in a mood to give your man one good kiss that would make him extremely happy? Like really, I feel like that's just ridiculous. She says she wants to make me happy, but can't give me a simple kiss.
All in all, we had much more other arguments that were stupid and pointless on her part, but these are the main ones. We even had an argument about how she doesn't ever say good night to me when she wants to sleep! She asked why she has to say it and why don't I just say it, and I replied and said because I'm not the one who's going to sleep! So she kept arguing saying she doesn't see it as a big deal, and that answer proves she's not good with manners or something. I honestly don't know what to do from right now, so any help will be appreciated because this woman is making me sink into depression and killing me slowly. I love her, but can only take so much... I give love and don't expect it back from others, but from my woman, I do.