PDA

View Full Version : Disrespectful Irresponsible Teenage Son


Mary Piche
Feb 22, 2007, 06:15 AM
I have a good relationship with son usually, however, he shows disrespect at times. He doesn't seem to care about anybody but himself. He's not motivated.. . All his friends have jobs and cars and he just believes his father (whom I'm divorced from) and I should give him these things. He holds his hand out for money and other things but when it's his father or my birthday he can't even wish me a happy birthday or participate in the activity when we are having cake. He stays in his room with the door shut. I'm at the point where I don't want to give him anything right now. HELP:mad: How do I handle this one?

Abuhar
Feb 22, 2007, 12:13 PM
Everything depends on your parenting goal.
If your goal is to quick-fix your child overnight in order to "make" him to respect you, you might consider "tough" measures, such as taking away pleasures, sending to boot-camp, or similar to that (read what experts suggest in this case). But the consequences may or may not satisfy you, as you child may get even more difficult for you. Using his material dependence on you helps only temporary, until he begins to make his own living. Then, you might not see him at all, and imagine, that one day you will forget all his mistakes and begin miss him, want him to visit you and he won't.

If your goal is to get his long-run respect and improved love bonds between you both then you should reconsider everything you have done before with your parenting and read a helpful books to learn how to love a child. Parenting For Everyone by S.Soloveychik is one of the books I mean. Briefly speaking, you should begin by changing your beliefs about your son and first thing to do is to stop complaining about him to anybody. Second thing is to begin looking for anything GOOD in your son, notice it, prove to yourself that he is a good person, no matter how bad he seems to be.
A lot more to do next, but always remember, human beings are not as simple and primitive as sometimes we want them to be in order to use "simple" methods of upbringing to make our life easier. Thank you for attention.

Jaxcie
Jun 17, 2013, 09:15 PM
Hi there. I just read your post and am praying that things did change for you and your son since this post. My son is 14 and exactly the same. Would you mind messaging me to let me know how things are going with your son, and what I could try with mine?