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View Full Version : I'm 13 and he is 17? What do I do?


bvbtillidie
Apr 15, 2012, 02:38 AM
So... I have never felt this way about anyone before. I can actually say that I love this guy. He is 17 and I'm 13. However, in 14 in July and he is 18 in December. This means there is only going to be a 3-4 year age gap. I know that when he turns 18 he is an adult but I don't know what to do. I actually love him. Please don't say, your 13 and you don't know what love is. I do and it only exists when I'm with him. We speak every single day and he says that he loves me to. I don't want this to end up by me getting hurt nor him. Can anyone give me advice on what to do. Could I do anything with him? Is it illegal. Just some facts would be great. It has taken me a lot of courage to post this. I don't want people that are going to judge what they don't know. Help is widely felt and appreciated.

miss_a90
Apr 15, 2012, 09:48 AM
At the moment, any sexual encounter you experienced with him is illegal. You didn't mention where you live, but in most American states the age to legally consent to sex is 18, and in the UK it is 16, so either way you would not legally be allowed to do anything with this guy. Also, once he turns 18 he could be charged with a much more serious account of sex with a minor, which is basically seen as paedophilia and can carry a hefty jail sentence.
All that aside, I'm not going to start saying you're 13 and don't know what love is, because love has nothing to do with age and how you are feeling, no matter what other people say, is very real to you. If you really like this guy and he really likes you too for the person you are, then no one can tell you you can't love each other. I would, however, say that there are going to be many bumps in your relationship, and most of them will be to do with your ages as at this point in your lives, you'll be going through very different experiences.

ScottGem
Apr 15, 2012, 11:21 AM
I'm going to vary the theme of miss a90's answer. I am very sure what you feel about him is real and feels like love to you. But you are only 13 and this may be the first time you are experiencing these emotions. You will probably experience these feelings several times in your lifetime. That doesn't mean the feelings aren't real, but it does mean, you are not experienced enough to tell for sure if it is lasting and true love.

There are no laws about dating, but you are likely under the age of consent, which means any sexual contact can land him in jail. Even now. Being 18 won't affect that depending on where you live.

But the real key here is your parents. If your parents do not approve of this relationship then he can be in serious trouble for defying them.

You left out some very important info, like how long have you been in this relationship or whether your parents know. These are key pieces of info. So is how you met him.

When you chose to post here (and I'm not sure why it took a lot of courage) you opened yourself to any comments from anyone wanting to respond (unless those comments violate our rules). We are here to give you advice to help you. You may not like the advice, but our concern is for you. Our experience is that a 17/18 yr old involved with a 13/14 year old is very highly unlikely to last. The two of you are at very different phases of your life. And those very different phases leave little in common.

So the first thing you need to do is discuss this situation and your feelings with your parents and take their advice.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 15, 2012, 11:46 AM
You wait for about 5 years and then if he is still available you look him back up and see what happens.

There are too many years apart to make it work at this point. A 18 year old is not going to want to wait years for sex, and it is illegal.

The next thing, does your mom and dad know about him, do the know you talk every day, you will have to get their permission before any dating could happen. And if you did date, at 13, just touching you wrongly even though the clothes can put him in jail.