Hello I am 30 female and have a 1yr old kid. My husband is in the military but he is about to be medically discharged don't get me wrong he's fine and functions fine, and that's not at all the reason for me wanting to divorce him. I found a singles ad he posted and wrote disgusting things that he is into and he wants me to get in bed with him and another woman but that's not me. He also wants to watch me with another man and I don't want that either. That tells me he doesn't care about me if he's fine with watching me with another man. He has not had sex with me since the baby was conceived. And tells me I need to change my hair color from its natural to what he wants,get bigger boobs, do my nails all the time and he would be attracted to me. My family moved to a different state recently and he sent me a little later to buy a house and live there till he got out of the military which was suppose to be 2 yrs now is a few months. He told me while I was here to get on craigslist and find a friend, guy or girl. Does he trust me that much or is he pushing me away? Well now that I have a friend he is trying to be sweet and make up for lost times but I can't do it he has done to many things wrong for me to forget. Now here's the hard part of this the divorce would be easy but... He lives in my house and the loan is in only my name and pays the mortgage which is 1600 dollars a month the house I bought here is only 700 a month. If I leave him I want to stay here.my house there is on the market but have had no bites. I can't afford the mortgage in that house with this house too. If I divorce him now he could agree to pay but not pay and ruin my credit. He could also get the military involved and make me have to move back there due to my son. I have been waiting to sale the house so I can divorce him but I'm at my witts end and want it now but I'm not willing to ruin my credit because I need my good credit for my son so he don't have a crappy life. Please tell me a way out now or five me some options to look at.

Your options depend, to some extent, on what state your house is in. Some states have anti-deficiency statutes, meaning that if you were to let the bank foreclose, under certain circumstances, they could take the house but not get a deficiency judgment in case it is worth less than the loan payoff. Most states don't have laws like this, however.

You don't need credit. So don't let the spectre of "ruining my credit" control your decision making.

You can divorce him and, if he agrees, settle on the basis of him assuming the loan. But you're right: you can't force the bank to re-finance it for him. So, ultimately, if he doesn't make the payments you could end up owing them.