I'm a 52 yro male, with an ex wife, 3 children 2 of which are with my ex and 1 came to live with me, my ex couldn't live with him cause he was verbally abusive and was fighting with his year younger sister she was 15 and he 16.
I'm remarried x 2 yrs after living alone for 8 yrs after our divorce.
Now, its my younger son who is 15 and being verbally abusive and fighting with his older sister. That she wants out, but there's a kink, my new wife says if I take him we're through... She says She didn't sign on to this marriage to become a mom.
I'm a dad and can't and won't shirk that duty, I love my wife and show her every day, but she's made it clear.

If I was asked today. My kid or my new wife, Blood is thicker than water!

Any Suggestions?

Yes, counselling.

I see both sides of this - I'm sure your second wife never saw it coming and not all stepchildren are cuddly and adorable and lovable. In fact, some go w-a-a-y out of their way to make the step parent's life miserable.

I don't understand why the abusive son gets to stay with his mother but the older sister has to move out. Has anyone tried to put any reins on the abusive son? I'm a little confused by your wording. "She" wants out?

I'm a stepmother and a second wife.

You apparently have decided that blood is thicker than water, so your decision has been made.

I do understand what your wife is saying. In an ideal world she would love you and your children as a package deal. Things are not always ideal.

I think you are allowing your children to play you, your ex and your current wife.

Its not the daughter she wants out, it's the abusive son, I want to help him and I've tried one adolescent councelor but my son refused to talk, my ex wants me to take him or he's going to foster care, I don't want to leave my wife, but she refuses to budge, I've been to a councilor with my wife and the councilor said if I decide to stay with my kids, I'll have nothing when they become adults and they move away, it seems like a no win situation

Sorry, I would tell the second wife to hit the road. If she loved you she would know this is only for a few years and she could or should never expect you to turn your back on your children.

For me it would not even be a question.