My passion is very very high. I used to mastrubate 5-6 times a day everyday. I used to visit porn sites too. I fell in love with a woman. After that I stopped all that. But till date I could have sex with hher only twice - in a year bcos of religious reason. Now I don't know when iwill get a change to make it with her. I have sopped all mastrubation etc bcos I want to be only for her. I love her a lot. But my passion is still the same. How do I control my urge, my sexual want? I want to stop my passion but keep it only for her when we get a message from divine to have sex.

You are not talking about your passion here - you are talking about your high sex drive. Passion and sex drive are not the same thing, although there are related components.

Have you proposed marriage to this woman? How is it that you "receive a message from divine" in order to have sexual intercourse? If you two are not having sexual intercourse for religious reasons, I understand that. If that is so, what is hindering the two of you becoming husband and wife?

To get your mind off your sexual urges - get physical doing other things, like exercising. Work off your energies that way. You can train your mind to control your body. I have heard cold showers work also.

Good luck.

She Too Is Married. So We Can't Marry.

Do you mean to say you are both married to other people?

Boy you are crazy. You are both married and your are talking about signs from the devine. So you don't have sex with your wife?? You have some sex drive (not passion) amazing even. I think you should man up.

Run, Its Healthy and you release endorfins... makes you feel good after you run for 30 minutes to an hour... plus its goood for the body!

Run, Its Healthy and you release endorfins ... makes you feel good after you run for 30 mins to an hour... plus its goood for the body!



Yes I think running will help.

boy you are crazy. you are both married and your are talking about signs from the devine. so you don't have sex with your wife??? You have some sex drive (not passion) amazing even. I think you should man up.


Man up means?

Yes we both are married to diff people. We are staying ni our respective marriage to fulful our duties towards our kids and family.
I Don't HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE - though the urge is very high.
Even she restrains from sex - we never initiate sex with our married partners - we have sex with the married partner only if the partner initiates it. Otherwise we both control our urge of sex - we are committed to each other.

That is just silly! So your not doing anything to hold out for someone who will have sex with their husband if he asks nicely? I have no idea what religion you believe in but I am certain that all religions forbid affaires and this is what you are doing, you are having an affair! Sex or not it is all the same. Plus I'm sure there is no religion where only doing it twice a year with another mans wife is OK. If your old with you wife because of your kids then you should leave. You are stopping your poor wife from getting the love and sex she deserves.

Affair - yes you can call it an affair - but we are not divorcing our respective partners as we want to fulfil our duties towards the families we are with. Also we don't want our kids to suffer.

We don't want to ditch our old partners for our love. We will be with them till they need us.

Also our respective partners get sex when they want, when they ask for it.

English what do you want to say?


That is just silly! So your not doing anything to hold out for someone who will have sex with their husband if he asks nicely? I have no idea what religion you believe in but I am certain that all religions forbid affaires and this is what you are doing, you are having an affair! Sex or not it is all the same. Plus I'm sure there is no religion where only doing it twice a year with another mans wife is OK. If your old with you wife because of your kids then you should leave. You are stopping your poor wife from getting the love and sex she deserves.

Well I thought my life was complicated!

For once I am silenced I do not know how to advise you but shall enjoy reading others responses.

One thing I am interested to know is do your respective spouses know about you two?

So in your entire situation, which includes dogding divorce for "the sake of the kids" (how long can you keep this up?), having sex with your legal and once loved spouse at their discretion, and waiting from a sign from the divine to 'keep your passion for her', the serious thing that is bothering you is maintaining your sexual cravings for someone in another marriage??
Maybe you can't. Maybe you'll collapse and start watching porn and masterbating.

What would you tell your spouse if she was in the same predicament as you: she loves someone else, wants to direct her 'passion' with this other person, is staying with you for the sake of the kids and chooses to have sex with you only because she feels like it on occasion?

... doesn't sound like happiness to me.

Ah I love the religious lmao - the morals of alley cats --but they wrap it up so well - Savage

One how the hell can you do it that much I never known anyone can do it that many times a day two u need something that will wear you out like taking up a exercise because it get you fit and makes u nackered. And hope things work out and u feel better

Aries,. i am stayign with my wife so that i don't hurt her. I give her sex so that i don't sacrifice her happiness for my happiness. I am sacrificing my happiness becsue the woman is love is really an angel.

emo-angel - i loved sex so much i used to mastrubate 2wice a day! So you cna imagine how much worth the lady whom i love is. I can do anythign for her.

Louie - Don't Know What To Do. I Have Sleepless Nights - But The Woman I Love Is Worth All The Agony

Funny I have a man who tells me this and my ansa to him is that I feel my love is not enough as he still goes home.

If you feel this strongly you are never going to last until the kids leave home.

Do you not feel you are wasting your respective spouses lives as they too deserve to be loved in the way you two love each other, That was the conclusion I came to and am now going down the road of divorce, however I would sooner that than live a lie.

I love the lady.

Which one or both?

It is so hard - I loved my husband but not how I should have done not with the passion, excitement and longing that a relationship should hold, more like a brother he deserved more as do I.

It has been painful but not as painful as what it was living a lie.

aries, .... i am stayign with my wife SO THAT I DONT HURT HER. I GIVE HER SEX SO THAT I DONT SACRIFICE HER HAPPINESS FOR MY HAPPINESS. I AM SACRIFICING MY HAPPINESS BECSUE THE WOMAN IS LOVE IS REALLY AN ANGEL.



Oh! So your wife knows that you love this other woman and give her sex so as to spare her pain? Or is it you keep from letting your wife know that you love someone else as to spare her pain? Either way, unless your wife says so, she might not be happy so your sacrifice might not be much of a sacrifice after all.

I realised one thing- love hurts, it can be the greatest and worst feeling in the world, reason I was surprised about how much you masterbate was because I don't know anyone who does it that often- I am sorry I offended you. Everyone has their problems, but I think you are brave and noble staying with your wife while dating someone else, but best think to do is see if both of the ladies love you the way you love them, because sex and love are not the same thing

I don't understand what you mean when you ask what I want to say really. I'm not avoiding saying anything to you. If you have put a post on here then I believe you are asking for my honest and unbias opinion along with everyone else's.
Personally I think that one of your main duties to your wife is to be faithful. I'm sure nearly all (I don't pretend to know anything or even a little about them all) religions insist on fidelity, even those who believe that only the woman should be.
You say you don't want your kids to suffer, but how do you think your children will feel if they ever find out? And your wife, how do you think she would feel to know that the person you are saving all of your passion for is not her?
And when, do you suppose, you wife and children will stop needing you? I am 23 and I was really sick last week, so I went to stay with my mother because I still need her. That isn't going to change. When I have my own children I am certain I will need her then too.
I guess my point is that no happiness can come from this situation. You can't be with the person you seem to believe is your soul mate. Because of this your wife can not be with hers because it can't be you if you can cheat on her this way. Your children will eventually see this and it will affect how they view realitioships in the future and could compramise the way they feel towards you.
Also, when you are with this other woman I am guessing that you lie to your wife and children to do so? Surely that cannot be comfortable, although if it is I would be concerned.
I know that you did not ask for a lecture about morality, just advice on holding out, but since you put this information on her I think you were asking for comment. Plus, the act of having an affaire itself suggests you are struggling to hold back in the area you should be doing so as well as the area you asked about.
Can I ask, if this was the other way around, and this was your wife with another man, how would you feel? Your wife is probably already suspicious anyway because if your sex drive used to be so high and now you never iniciate sex with her, she is probably concerned and putting herself through the torture many women on here do.