I found her on Facebook, contacted her, and everything about her matches what is on my original birth cert. Age, name, still even in the same town. But she denies she had a baby and put it up for adoption. I know its her. Can I get a dna test? Or should I just forget it? I just want to know. She even resembles me.

If she denies it you cannont force her to take a DNA test. Giving up a child for adoption is a very private and painful thing for women to do. Unless you are in desperate need of your genetic medical background you respect her wishes and leave her alone.

How dare you impose on someone just because you think she might be your mother! I suspect you went about trying to find your birth mother all wrong. And now you are paying the price.

No you don't contact her again.

If she knows she isn't your mother, end of story.
If she is your mother but has reason to deny it (tragic reasons she got pregnant comes to mind!) then leave her alone, and work on designing a Facebook page around you, your life, and your search for your mother. If she secretly wants to keep tabs on your page for a few years while she thinks about it in private, that's the way it should be.

I have a nephew who secretly kept tabs on my brother online before contacting him. He was only seen by my brother for a moment at birth, after which my brother took off.

Your answers were at the very least, unhelpful and show what a low level of education and compassion you have. I will make sure my friends and family know NOT to ever use this site. It is POOR! It makes me laugh that you actually "think" you are helping people.

Your answers were at the very least, unhelpful and show what a low level of education and compassion you have. I will make sure my friends and family know NOT to ever use this site. It is POOR! It makes me laugh that you actually "think" you are helping people.

You are nine ways from wrong. I have a college degree and my husband and all of his siblings are adopted.

Just because it's not what you wanted to hear doesn't mean it's not the truth.

Your answers were at the very least, unhelpful and show what a low level of education and compassion you have. I will make sure my friends and family know NOT to ever use this site. It is POOR! It makes me laugh that you actually "think" you are helping people.


What answer do you expect? Do you want us to tell you to stalk her until you get the information you need?

I am a birthmother.

You have ZERO legal right to stalk this woman. You also have no legal right to ANY identifying information about your birthparents.

You cannot compel a DNA test. In fact, if you do not cease contact with this woman, HE has the right to prosecute YOU for stalking and harassment.

You have gone about your search and contact the wrong way and now may never know.

Your answers were at the very least, unhelpful and show what a low level of education and compassion you have. I will make sure my friends and family know NOT to ever use this site. It is POOR! It makes me laugh that you actually "think" you are helping people.

The above response shows how little YOU know. You may not have liked our responses, but they are accurate. As for compassion, I will save my compassion for the woman who's privacy you invaded.

Our track record for quality, accurate and helpful responses is very high. We don't "think" we are helping people, we KNOW we are based on the many responses we get to that effect. So you can say whatever you want, but it won't be accurate.

Had you come to us for help in finding your birth mother we could have advised you on the right way to go about it. But you didn't. You blundered around and did it the wrong way and may have ruined your chances of ever finding out.