All right so this week has been one of the most depressing in my life and it is because my girlfriend of four years has broken up with me. We were together since freshmen in high school, and now that we are in our first year of college things have started to go downhill. I admit I have made mistakes in the relationship as well as she, but this might've been on my part than anything. During the summer of 2011 I went on a cruise with my cousin and we met a lot of new people on the cruise, and I got drunk and was holding another girl. Well the people on the cruise made a video of our excursion and that happened to be a part of it and my girlfriend at the time ended up seeing it and being devastated by it. I could tell I hurt her severely, though I didn't do anything else with the girl but hold her that one time in the video but I knew I was still wrong for it.

Though she was hurt by it she still didn't break up with me and I was grateful for that, but I didn't take it into consideration because it eventually lead to where we are today. The following month or so I had to go off to college while she stayed here to go to a local college because of other issues. Our relationship was already rocky because of the summer incident, but we seemed to working out okay during the first semester. We would still talk constantly and though we weren't with each other physically the relationship still seemed right because we cared for one another so much. During the long winter break I was able to spend more time with her, and things were going pretty good, but she told me she wanted me to change and actually do other ways of communication such as Skyping her and so forth.

I knew she was still hurt from the summer because she is a very insecure girl and worried about whatever I was doing. I don't blame her after all because I was away at college, but I promised her I would never cheat on her or anything of the sort and I didn't. When going back for this past spring term, the relationship was still okay. However I hadn't kept up with my promise of doing other forms of communicating with her such as Skyping because of the workload, and she saw that as a way of neglect and that I took her for granted, which I admit I did. I honestly never thought she would break up with me after doing what I did in the summer, so I didn't truly make an effort in showing that I cared or anything but I truly did from the bottom of my heart.

Now when coming back for spring break this past week she was still acting fine for the first couple of days, but out of nowhere texted me one morning saying she couldn't deal with her heart feeling like this and that she needed time to herself to try and love herself again. She didn't want to be with anyone including friends, and she kept saying she needed time to herself. I was completely in shock, and I kept asking if we could just work it out and if she could just give me one more chance to prove that I cared for her. However, it seemed as if I was too late because I took her for granted and her love for granted and I wish I could take everything back. She agreed the next day of saying she couldn't take this anymore saying she would give me one more chance, but the next day again after sleeping saying it would be better if she was just by herself.

I guess it was my own fault to keep asking if we could just work it out and if she could give me one more chance, that I pushed her even farther away because she decided to change her number to try and cut off contact with me. Now the only way of communicating is through email because she won't text me. She keeps telling me that she loves me and always thinks about me and that this is hard for her, but she thinks it is best for her right now to just be alone and without stress. I poured out my heart to her explaining that she meant everything to me and I was so sorry for taking her for granted, and it seemed to give her mix emotions of staying together or not being together and being by herself. Now we barely talk and I have to email her to see how she is doing.

She has her spring break this week while I go back to school, and I am thinking that I should just give her this week to herself and try to not contact her. It is so hard for me not to know what she is doing or how she is doing because I was so used to talking to her everyday. I am pretty sure she really needs time to herself and it wasn't for another guy because this has been building up in her since I made a mistake in the summer and I guess she just couldn't take it anymore. But I can't just let her go like this and I love and miss her even more now because of this situation. I don't know how I will be able to focus on my work now because of this.

I am trying to think positively about this and say to myself perhaps I am trying to communicating with too much when she needs time to herself, and if I leave her be for a week or two and than try to contact her again it will be better. Whether she takes me back or not, I just want to be able to know if she is OK because she was seriously my heart and I just can't let that go especially after being together for so long.

So after all of this, what does anyone suggest I do? Just let her be for a week or two, and than try to talk to her again? Does it seem as if she will come around and give me another chance? She tells me she isn't in contact with anyone since she changed her number except family and isn't happy with life anymore and doesn't know what to do but she thinks being by herself is right. She also recently told me that we can talk again normally on the phone, etc after she has time by herself but she just really needs time. I really don't want to lose her and I just need some sort of way to cope with all of this so suddenly.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :(.

I feel your pain guy, but give her all the space she needs and leave her alone. If she doesn't contact you, don't contact her and for the next few months, see this as a cooling off period, and do your own thing so you can get a better perspective other than shock, hurt, guilt, or a sense of loss. This is a time of adjustments, and trust me bugging her now trying to keep up with what she is doing is a hard habit to break, but one you have to work hard at.

Calling her in a week or two will change nothing but will make things worse. She needs to miss you on her own, and change her mind on her own, without your influence. Break ups suck, especially the longer ones, and healing is going to take a longer time, but that's what has to happen for you both.

Thanks for the response. Hopefully things turn around and my mind will be occupied because of school. If anything, maybe things can be better once we have a longer break in May for the summer.