MaryJDane
Apr 6, 2012, 06:42 AM
Okay so I met John and a few of his friends about 3 years ago. I started dating John's best friend/roommate for about three months. The day John's best friend broke up with me, John and his sister came over to comfort me. That night my brother, John's sister, a few neighbor friends, and I cracked open some beers and bonded. At some point John and I wondered off into our own conversation which lasted for hours. I told John things I had not told people that I had been friends with my whole life. For some reason I felt very comfortable around him. After that night my brother and I started to hang out with him, his sister, and his friends almost every day for an entire summer. It was one happy family. John and I had a brother sister relationship. We talked about everything from relationships to what we thought the meaning of life was (and those were intense). I became very close to his family (I was his sisters bridesmaid this last summer) as he did with mine. At one point we even got apartments next to each other.
About a year ago, I had broken up with my boyfriend of a year. Of course I confided in John for comfort, for a about two weeks I spent everyday at his house with him and his roommates at the time just partying. One early afternoon I showed up to John's house because I wanted to just hang out and spend the day doing nothing with him (something we were very good at). He said he had not gotten any sleep the night before and wanted to nap and offered for me to join, I thought some sleep would do me good too and took him up on his offer. Now I have slept in the same bed/room as John many many times before and not ever so much as cuddled with the guy. However this time he asked if it would be cool if we cuddled, I was like sure why not? We slept for hours in each others arms, it was an amazing sleep, he kept saying how I was such a good cuddle buddy. Nothing happened that day however we started to do this rather frequently, and for long periods at a time. Finally one day as we were about to nap as usual and he started to poke me and tickle me, next thing I knew John was ontop of me and he stared deep in my eyes, then kissed me. It was probably the most passionate kiss I have ever experienced, next thing I knew we had sex. I came over for about week straight afterwards and we sort of had a minor PDA going on and people were talking but it was not too crazy and we did not sleep together again, however one day I told him I had heard from my ex and it came out that John and I had slept together. John distant himself for sometime, and I got the impression that I had hurt him. Things went back to normal once he had a new girlfriend (who I became rather good friends with). During this period I got offered a great opportunity to go to school in the tropics (3000 miles from home). John was very excited for me and told me that he would try to come visit me as soon as he could afford to.
About two months ago John's girlfriend called me and said John had broken up with her. I contacted John to see how he was and he seemed to be doing well for the most part. Finally one day out of the blue John called asking if it would be all right if he came out to visit for four days, I of course was ecstatic and said yes. John contacted me a few days later asking if it would be okay if he stayed for eight days so he could really experience the place, I said of course.
Due to the small living space I had to share a bed with John. The first night John got here we cuddled. He held me tighter than ever, once again we started to kiss and make out passionately it got so intense that he gave me a hickey. I for the first time saw John as more than a friend, he told me he did not want to sleep with me because I am not just some chick he wants to hook up with and leave, he wanted something serious if anything more was to happen to us other than friends. I told him I agreed. He then started to say he did not want to get hurt and that he never wanted to hurt me. I asked him if I had hurt him back in the day and he said yea.. I apologized.
The next day we acted as friends for PDA reasons and he bonded with all of my friends. The third night he was here we cuddled again; the next morning however we had sex in the shower. Next thing I knew we were all over each other. John extended his stay for 5 more days and we traveled everywhere. It was amazing. We acted as friends in front of my (now our) friends but they all knew we were up to something seeing as his neck and mine had hickeys on them and we did nothing to hide or deny them. After John left I found myself thinking about him everyday. Just yesterday I was chatting with one of our friends from home and she said he had been acting weird since he returned when I asked how she said..
" his whole demeanor has changed, the look in his eyes, its like some thing went down. Like he's changed in some way that I can't quite tell how and he talks n sounds n stands entirely different."
So I am not sure how to handle this. I want him to know that I have developed deep feelings for him, but if he is not feeling it then I don't want to scare him away. He has been talking to some of the boys that live out here with me and they want to get a place out here together. So what do I do or say? Does it sound like I have a chance with this guy? Please advice!
About a year ago, I had broken up with my boyfriend of a year. Of course I confided in John for comfort, for a about two weeks I spent everyday at his house with him and his roommates at the time just partying. One early afternoon I showed up to John's house because I wanted to just hang out and spend the day doing nothing with him (something we were very good at). He said he had not gotten any sleep the night before and wanted to nap and offered for me to join, I thought some sleep would do me good too and took him up on his offer. Now I have slept in the same bed/room as John many many times before and not ever so much as cuddled with the guy. However this time he asked if it would be cool if we cuddled, I was like sure why not? We slept for hours in each others arms, it was an amazing sleep, he kept saying how I was such a good cuddle buddy. Nothing happened that day however we started to do this rather frequently, and for long periods at a time. Finally one day as we were about to nap as usual and he started to poke me and tickle me, next thing I knew John was ontop of me and he stared deep in my eyes, then kissed me. It was probably the most passionate kiss I have ever experienced, next thing I knew we had sex. I came over for about week straight afterwards and we sort of had a minor PDA going on and people were talking but it was not too crazy and we did not sleep together again, however one day I told him I had heard from my ex and it came out that John and I had slept together. John distant himself for sometime, and I got the impression that I had hurt him. Things went back to normal once he had a new girlfriend (who I became rather good friends with). During this period I got offered a great opportunity to go to school in the tropics (3000 miles from home). John was very excited for me and told me that he would try to come visit me as soon as he could afford to.
About two months ago John's girlfriend called me and said John had broken up with her. I contacted John to see how he was and he seemed to be doing well for the most part. Finally one day out of the blue John called asking if it would be all right if he came out to visit for four days, I of course was ecstatic and said yes. John contacted me a few days later asking if it would be okay if he stayed for eight days so he could really experience the place, I said of course.
Due to the small living space I had to share a bed with John. The first night John got here we cuddled. He held me tighter than ever, once again we started to kiss and make out passionately it got so intense that he gave me a hickey. I for the first time saw John as more than a friend, he told me he did not want to sleep with me because I am not just some chick he wants to hook up with and leave, he wanted something serious if anything more was to happen to us other than friends. I told him I agreed. He then started to say he did not want to get hurt and that he never wanted to hurt me. I asked him if I had hurt him back in the day and he said yea.. I apologized.
The next day we acted as friends for PDA reasons and he bonded with all of my friends. The third night he was here we cuddled again; the next morning however we had sex in the shower. Next thing I knew we were all over each other. John extended his stay for 5 more days and we traveled everywhere. It was amazing. We acted as friends in front of my (now our) friends but they all knew we were up to something seeing as his neck and mine had hickeys on them and we did nothing to hide or deny them. After John left I found myself thinking about him everyday. Just yesterday I was chatting with one of our friends from home and she said he had been acting weird since he returned when I asked how she said..
" his whole demeanor has changed, the look in his eyes, its like some thing went down. Like he's changed in some way that I can't quite tell how and he talks n sounds n stands entirely different."
So I am not sure how to handle this. I want him to know that I have developed deep feelings for him, but if he is not feeling it then I don't want to scare him away. He has been talking to some of the boys that live out here with me and they want to get a place out here together. So what do I do or say? Does it sound like I have a chance with this guy? Please advice!