Cal12
Apr 3, 2012, 04:10 PM
Hi guys I'm new to all this. I'm really lost and looking for any advise and feedback even if it's that I am the one who is wrong. It's a long story but bear with me. I knew my girlfriend or ex not really sure which it is about 5 years ago through her brother I am 28 she is 24. We became friends and met up very rarely, as I lived 150 km away but we were always really close, and I felt we had a really strong friendship and it was always a bit more than that so. Anyway about a year ago we started seeing each other as in a relationship. Me still living far away it was fantastic and very quickly became really serious I wanted to spend my life with her and she would tell me the same I would travel; down and she up it was fantastic we had a few rows but nothing major.
After about 5 months we had a big row in which I felt we both were at fault but we got through it then we found out she was pregnant I was happy and so was she but a little overwhelmed and I told her I was going no where and I loved her etc she seemed more worried about her mother but OK I could understand that. A few weeks into the pregnancy she was making all decisions with her mother about the baby clothes and what was needed etc I felt left out if I'm honest and said it to her in which she got very defensive of her mother and angry at me but again we eventually talked it through and when decisions were being made she would tell me but again it was like they were making them and then just telling me like I had no say.
This continued and I feel like more and more I was being pushed aside and it was more important for her mother to be involved anytime she was ill or had a back pain even if I was there she would turn to her mother. Again this led to arguments in which she would get very nasty towards me when all I was saying I wanted was to be involved but both her and her mother would tell me I have nothing to worry about I'm not carrying the child that it had nothing to do with me till it was born which infuriated me. After a while she would tell me I'm causing her too much stress that everyone else was supportive except me. We had a fight about a month ago well when I say fight I don't know if you could call it that she was struggling with money for car insurance and I said I would help she said thanks but no. I could see it was a strain on her so repeated my offer a few times eventually she said I was bullying her and over powering her to leave her alone.
I continued to text apologizing trying to get us past this but she got more upset and ended it with me telling me she has more important things to worry about than us and that she hated me and never ever wanted to be with me again. I again tried to reason with her but no reply. I have not seen her in 5 weeks or heard anything in 3. Nothing about scans or what and she is now 7 months the one time. Weeks ago she rang, and my mother spoke with hers. She again got very nasty with me. Then got upset her mother came on the phone and told me never to ring again then her father did the same. I don't know where any of this came from things were perfect up until days before all this we had sorted the previous fight out and then this from nowhere its killing me.
I do know her mother is very possessive and only gets to see her other grandchild once a year. I thought wanting to be involved and help were good things and I know its hard on her first pregnancy and all and me living away waiting on transfer in work but she won't answer text calls and once I even drove down when she refused to see me, I am not perfect and have been at fault during some rows by putting pressure on but I felt I was doing the right thing I have never cheated or hit her and I told her I was going nowhere so I'm lost and its dragging me down.
Any advice or help I would really appreciate thanks.
After about 5 months we had a big row in which I felt we both were at fault but we got through it then we found out she was pregnant I was happy and so was she but a little overwhelmed and I told her I was going no where and I loved her etc she seemed more worried about her mother but OK I could understand that. A few weeks into the pregnancy she was making all decisions with her mother about the baby clothes and what was needed etc I felt left out if I'm honest and said it to her in which she got very defensive of her mother and angry at me but again we eventually talked it through and when decisions were being made she would tell me but again it was like they were making them and then just telling me like I had no say.
This continued and I feel like more and more I was being pushed aside and it was more important for her mother to be involved anytime she was ill or had a back pain even if I was there she would turn to her mother. Again this led to arguments in which she would get very nasty towards me when all I was saying I wanted was to be involved but both her and her mother would tell me I have nothing to worry about I'm not carrying the child that it had nothing to do with me till it was born which infuriated me. After a while she would tell me I'm causing her too much stress that everyone else was supportive except me. We had a fight about a month ago well when I say fight I don't know if you could call it that she was struggling with money for car insurance and I said I would help she said thanks but no. I could see it was a strain on her so repeated my offer a few times eventually she said I was bullying her and over powering her to leave her alone.
I continued to text apologizing trying to get us past this but she got more upset and ended it with me telling me she has more important things to worry about than us and that she hated me and never ever wanted to be with me again. I again tried to reason with her but no reply. I have not seen her in 5 weeks or heard anything in 3. Nothing about scans or what and she is now 7 months the one time. Weeks ago she rang, and my mother spoke with hers. She again got very nasty with me. Then got upset her mother came on the phone and told me never to ring again then her father did the same. I don't know where any of this came from things were perfect up until days before all this we had sorted the previous fight out and then this from nowhere its killing me.
I do know her mother is very possessive and only gets to see her other grandchild once a year. I thought wanting to be involved and help were good things and I know its hard on her first pregnancy and all and me living away waiting on transfer in work but she won't answer text calls and once I even drove down when she refused to see me, I am not perfect and have been at fault during some rows by putting pressure on but I felt I was doing the right thing I have never cheated or hit her and I told her I was going nowhere so I'm lost and its dragging me down.
Any advice or help I would really appreciate thanks.