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View Full Version : Should I stop trying to connect with my adult daughter?


tchur1
Apr 2, 2012, 05:46 AM
I visited my daughter who lives over 800 miles away in Jan. We had a good visit; well, at least it appeared to me we did. I send her emails a couple a times a month. I don't think that is being intrusive. She has written me one time since our visit. No phone calls. I wrote her last month about checking her schedule if she could fit in a visit home for Easter. Her dad and I even invited her to bring along her boyfriend. Should I ask her if something has happened to cause no communication with her? Her dad and I would totally understand if work prevents her from coming or if it's a lack of money.
I just think it's so unusual not to contact us. We've always had a good relationship. It seems ever since she's moved in with her boyfriend and lives many hundreds of miles away, we hear less or practically nothing at all. Should I keep emailing her or should I just put it in her ballpark and contact us when she's ready? It does hurt that she hasn't responded at all.

Livitoole
Apr 2, 2012, 05:57 AM
Her and her boyfriend might be feeling very in love at the moment, and she just might have forgotten to call you recently. When someone has moved in with their loved one, they feel very in love with them, and forget all family. I'm sure she'll come around eventually. Maybe she doesn't have any internet connection or credit? I think you should wait a while to see if she contacts you, if she doesn't by Easter then call her and email her more. I hope she does get in touch. :)

Fr_Chuck
Apr 2, 2012, 06:01 AM
It is hard often for adult children to always keep in contact. They are busy with work, life, love, household and more. But if you had a good relationship before, ask her is there is a problem.

JudyKayTee
Apr 2, 2012, 06:30 AM
I agree with FrChuck. I wouldn't text or email. I'd call and, without accusing, say you miss hearing from her, what's new, is she coming home for Easter. She's your daughter. You should be able to tell from the way the conversation goes if there's a problem.

tchur1
Apr 2, 2012, 01:49 PM
Last year whenever her dad or I called, we had to leave a message and she never returned our calls. She did call on Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day and our birthdays. Maybe she thinks that's enough. Maybe I'm the one that needs to realize that she doesn't like to communicate very often. However, I think it is just common courtesy to answer an email back in a relatively normal time if you've been asked if you are coming home for the holiday.
My problem is knowing what to say to her so I don't offend her.

JudyKayTee
Apr 2, 2012, 01:56 PM
I agree, it's common courtesy.

I don't think you're being overly sensitive, not at all. I just think I'd leave a message saying you have to know "how many plates," and you'd love to see her and things are well and leave it up to her.