HI, I am a 13 year old girl and I really like this 16 year old boy. Him and I have had a on and off relationship for almost 9 months now. My parents aren't OK with it because they say its illegal and because they think he's all about sex. Him and I have not had any sexuall incounters durning this 9 months, he respects me and understands that I don't want that yet.

Post some answers, THANKS ! :)

Dating alone is fine, but anything physical is NOT.

... dating as long as your parents allow it.

Yet is the issue, a 16 year old boy will be thinking about it, and will normally not be willing to wait at least 3 more years. So as long as your parents say no, you can not date him.

It is not illegal to date. It is illegal to have sex until you reach your age of consent. To do so is to go against the rules, to think you know better than the law and the adults who's duty is your safety and happiness, and to risk putting your boyfriend in trouble as well. In the west the age of consent can be anything from 13-14 to 18. You can check "age of consent" on wikipedia for more information.

Your parents' fears are understandable: teens in love can very often give in to their desires and regret it. Even if you understand how it works well and use protection, becoming one with someone is a monumental decision that will affect you in various ways in the future, so it's not a decision that should be taken by "giving in" to pressure, for example. Furthermore, you will be a different person at 16 compared to the one you are now, and a yet different one at 18. You will experience a lot of changes in these years. With maturity you might very well look back and regret what a different you chose in the past.

My parents aren't ok with it

This ends the argument. If your parents refuse to allow it (and I would to, since 13 is too young to date 1 on 1), then it could be illegal for him to continue to see it. He could be prosecuted for parental interference. So, even if there are no laws against dating (which there aren't), there are laws about interfering with parental control.

Virtuous Plume makes a lot of good points. While a 3 year gap is nothing when both parties are adults, it is very large when you both are teen. When he is 19 and going to college, you will be a HS sophomore. That is very different times for you both and its unlikely your relationship would survive.

I've been out with a guy with the 3 year age gap as well. My parents were okay with it because they knew him and it was the same age gap too - me 13 the other 16. I know everyone else believes that you should not be dating this boy. But when you think about it, your parents have not mAde an educated decision, they don't know enough about the situation. Make sure you explain that he respects you and is and would not pressure you to have sex with him. Maybe have your parents meet him, so they can get to know him. If your boyfriend truly does like you, he will agree to come. Go to a meal or just simply sit around the house. Talk calmly as this will show your parents you are more mature and you are perfectly capable of having a responsible relationship with an plder boy. And try to get to the root of what is worrying your parents about your relationship with him. I hope I helped ! Love anna x

To say this girl's parents have not made an educated decision is reckless. A 16 year old boy should not be dating a 13 year old girl and the parents have every right to make that decision. You don't tell this girl her parents are wrong.
As a parent myself, I don't need to know the boy. My 13 year old daughter would not be dating to begin with, let alone a 16 year old boy.

I've been out with a guy with the 3 year age gap aswell. My parents were okay with it because they knew him and it was the same age gap too - me 13 the other 16. I know everyone else believes that you should not be dating this boy. But when you think about it, your parents have not mAde an educated decision, they dont know enough about the situation. Make sure you explain that he respects you and is and would not pressure you to have sex with him. Maybe have your parents meet him, so they can get to know him. If your boyfriend truly does like you, he will agree to come. Go to a meal or just simply sit around the house. Talk calmly as this will show your parents you are more mature and you are perfectly capable of having a responsible relationship with an plder boy. and try to get to the root of what is worrying your parents about your relationship with him. I hope I helped ! Love anna x

I agree with some of what you say here. Yes the OP needs to talk to her parents, have them meet the boy, maybe talk to his parents. And yes she needs to be calm about it. But I have a big problem with your response here because you make assumptions that are wrong and dangerous. You say her parents "dont know enough about the situation", but then neither do you. All you know is what the OP has told us. And you assume she is mature enough to be dating one on one at 13 (not likely). You assume her parents don't know what is best for her. You assume her parents haven't made an effort to know the boy.

Its one thing to advise someone to make sure their parents know all the facts. It is way another thing to assume they don't.

yes if the kid wants to talk about it to the other kids parents


You answered this question 4 times. What does a 16 year old have in common with a 12 year old?

Aren't your friends amused by the relationship?

Yet is the issue, a 16 year old boy will be thinking about it, and will normally not be willing to wait at least 3 more years. So as long as your parents say no, you can not date him.
Listen to this answer it is correct